To The Forest - Part Ten
This episode is part of a larger story, Soft Touch. If you haven’t yet, you can go back and read it from the beginning right here.
I was about to flip on the lights, but I pause in the doorway with my fingers on the switch. In the shadows of the half-lit kitchen, Ralph is leaning back against the counter, his arms wound around Calla. She’s leaning into him, but she’s drawn her head back to gaze up at him as she speaks, her fingers holding a handful of his shirt. He’s smiling senselessly down into her face, letting his eyes linger on hers. Taking deep, slow breaths of the summer breeze drifting in through the window.
“Ralph?” Calla giggles, right as I step into the kitchen. “Hello? Are you even listening to me?”
“No,” he sighs dreamily, then seems to abruptly realize what he said. He blinks hard, giving himself a little shake. “What? No, yeah, I was! I mean - I was kind of, um - you - you’re just, like…”
A soft wave of giggles breaks from Calla as Ralph’s cheeks start to color up with a flustered blush.
“It’s okay when you weren’t listening because of that,” she tells him, biting down on her smile.
Ralph looks immensely relieved to hear it. “Cool, ‘cause it’s gonna be a problem with a babe of your caliber. No way around it. What were you saying?”
“I was asking if you’d please just tell me how much that painting cost you.”
“Oh. No, I won’t. Why are you so hell-bent on knowing, anyways?”
“Because!” A rosy blush touches Calla’s cheeks. “I’m really starting to think that you’re spoiling me, but you’re doing it in sneaky ways so I won’t notice and make you stop!”
“Hey, I’d spoil you openly, if you’d just fucking let me.” Ralph smooths one hand over her buzzed hair, then knuckles her chin gently, his grey-green eyes smiling down into hers. “You want something, all you gotta do is tell me.”
“I know, that’s what I’m saying - you’re changing around the-” Calla is biting her lips, looking mad at herself for giggling so much, but still doing it anyways. She buries her face against his chest, groaning helplessly. “God! Forget it. And stop making me laugh. I’m gonna fight you.”
Ralph strokes his thumbs up and down the small of her back. “We’ve been over this, Hellcat. I’m never gonna fight you.”
“Yeah, Ralph, and I resent that. It’s actually pretty un-feminist of you to refuse to take me on in a bare-knuckle brawl.”
Ralph freezes, immediately and obviously troubled. “Shit, really?”
Calla presses her lips together, laughter showing in her eyes. “Yes.”
“No…” Ralph draws back and narrows his eyes at her suspiciously. “That can’t be right. This is one of those times when you’re telling me something isn’t feminist just to get me to do something. I’m not falling for that again. I’m checking the textbook when I get home. What chapter would that be under?”
Calla giggles again, poking his chest. “I think that chapter is called, women should be allowed to do whatever they want.”
“Mhm, and they should, except for fighting me, because I’m not doing that. Especially not with you.”
Calla scrunches up her nose at him in a little pout. “You really think I can’t take you?”
“Shit, who said that? It’s just about the opposite, really. I’m looking out for my own well-being. I know you bite.”
Calla lets out a sputter of laughter, then winces and lets him go to rub her cheeks. “Ugh, Ralph! My whole face, it’s so sore!”
“Mine, too,” he laughs softly.
Calla catches the way he’s looking at her. She blushes deeper, her eyes darting around the kitchen - and spots me. “Oh - hey, Jamie!”
“Hey!” I let my hand drop from the light switch, leaving the kitchen in the gentle half-glow. “Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt, but - Calla, I was just coming to get you! Ripley’s mage just destroyed Noah’s knight, so your assassin is next up in the bracket.”
Calla starts to leave Ralph’s arms to cross to me. He catches her, takes her jaw in one hand, and gives her a soft, swift little kiss on her mouth before he lets her go. She falls back, blinks up at him for a second. Her fingers fidget over all the piercings in her ear, then the one in her nose.
She whips around and strides across the kitchen to me, her cheeks glowingly red.
“I need a sec, anyways,” she whispers to me, covertly fanning her blushing face. “God!”
I laugh softly as she slips past me into the living room. Ralph leans forward, picking at his threadbare shirt, suddenly a little nervous.
“What’d she just say to you?” he asks anxiously, as I come over to join him.
I flash him a smile over my shoulder, reaching down to get another beer from the fridge. “Nothing bad.”
Ralph’s troubled eyes are still lingering on the kitchen doorway. “No, really, like… was it-?”
He cuts himself off as Calla leans back into the kitchen.
“Love you!” she blurts out, in a quick, breathless little rush.
Then she’s gone again, disappeared into the living room.
Ralph stands there frozen for a second. Then he breaks into a sudden, shy smile, his cheeks brightening with a startled blush. He drops that expression the instant he sees the way I’m grinning at him, but still way too late.
“I don’t want to hear one word out of you, Keane,” he growls warningly.
“Dude, you must realize what a pointless request that is to put to me, of all people. Not even one word?”
Ralph lets out a heavy, aggrieved sigh, tilting his head back. “That was so many already.”
But he moves over so I can lean back against the kitchen island across from him, and he accepts the fresh beer I offer him. The summer breeze drifts through his hair and mine, carrying the soft rustling of the leaves outside. He’s not looking at me, keeping his green eyes on the frosty bottle in his hand.
“C’mon, I’m happy for you!” I take a sip from my beer, then cast him a bright smile, leaning back into my hand on the countertop. “I mean, I don’t know too much about your romantic history, but from what I remember, in high school-”
I stop in surprise as Ralph cringes with his whole face.
“Ugh, Jamie-” He quickly drops his head, pinching the broken bridge of his nose between his fingers. “I don’t wanna talk about that, man. Just thinking about it now - I know, okay? I put my own damn feet in the concrete. Threw myself overboard, too.”
I scrunch my nose up at him, trying not to let out an affectionate laugh. “That’s a very you choice of imagery. I’m glad you figured it out, and stopped.”
Ralph makes a grumpy sort of face at me, then slowly shrugs his shoulders.
“Aiden said to be myself, which is pretty much the opposite of what I was always doing. Guess I fucked up, not doing that sooner. Even some people I’ve got to keep relationships with for my business seem happier to see me these days.” Ralph pauses, glancing up at me like he just realized I might be able to help him with something. “Except, um - except maybe this one guy I work with, who’s sometimes randomly in a dress and a wig and a lot of glittery makeup when I see him at night…? Not during the day, though.”
I draw back in surprise. “Oh, um - sounds like a drag queen, maybe?”
“Well, he started-”
“What name does he have you call him by, Ralph?”
“Indie Anna.”
“Okay, then she, probably? I’m guessing?”
“Alright, well, she’s started calling me-” Ralph blushes uncertainly, dropping his voice to a whisper. “Calling me a whore?”
I choke on the sip I was taking, nearly spilling my beer down the front of my shirt.
“I’m sorry?” I cough-laugh, dragging my sleeve over my mouth, staring at Ralph with wide eyes. “What?”
“Yeah, I don’t know,” he says, looking bewildered. “We’ve done business for years, but she started it up out of nowhere lately. And it’s unprompted, like - Ralph, you whore, you haven’t come to see me for ages! Throws me way off every time. But she’s always smiling when she says it.”
I bite back another laugh, grinning widely at Ralph. “Aw, dude! That’s a term of affection, when it’s coming from a drag queen!”
Ralph stares at me in confusion, then in relief. “Oh, word?”
“Mhm. You’re fine. Doing great, actually! Sounds like she’s just comfy around you now. Which means all kinds of different ladies are, that’s pretty dope. Especially compared to how things were in high school.”
Ralph takes a second to absorb that, looking startled, then relieved, then faintly pleased.
“Oh,” he says, after a moment. “Well, good. This is exactly why I’d rather keep my thoughts on how things are now, alright? It was mistake after mistake back then, just - no more high school talk.”
My mind is caught on Ralph’s thoughtless little comment, the thing I’m not sure he realized he said. Aiden said to be myself, which is pretty much the opposite of what I was always doing.
I remember Ralph as he was in high school, with that mocking, condescending, dismissive sneer on his face, like he thought he was miles above everyone around him. How loud and harsh and cold he always was. The blistering don’t-give-a-fuck attitude he gave off in spades, like he didn’t give damn at all about anything going on.
The opposite…
Okay. I’m going to have to think about that some more later.
I hesitate for a second, watching Ralph with tentative eyes, wondering if I can get away with asking. But Ralph is so much easier to talk to these days, I figure it’s at least worth a try.
“Yes, more high school talk,” I answer.
Ralph’s eyebrows arch all the way up, then drop low in irritation.
“Oh, really?” he growls.
“Yes, really,” I forge on, looking at him imploringly. “Just one more thing, I promise! When Noah found out about me and Aiden, he said that a lot of stuff from high school suddenly made sense to him. I was wondering if you felt the same w-?”
I stop in surprise as Ralph lets out a soft laugh, pushing a hand through his hair.
“Jamie, you have no goddamn idea. It’s to the point that I feel like an idiot looking back on it now. ”
I stare at Ralph, wondering. I can see memories flickering behind his eyes. But I’m never gonna know exactly what he means, because -
“I’m guessing you’re gonna refuse to give me any specifics, just like Noah?”
Ralph quirks a blonde eyebrow, otherwise keeping his expression perfectly neutral. “You really think I’m gonna snitch on Aiden? No, man. No one’s gonna get me to do that, not even you with your goddamn puppy dog eyes.”
“Come on, I wasn’t giving you-”
“You were, and you still are. Knock it off.”
“Aw, won’t you just tell me-?”
“Let that be,” Ralph says softly, seriously, his eyes lingering on mine. “You know he was already in love with you back then. I should’ve known that, too, because it showed. That’s all I’m gonna say.”
I’ve got a pleased blush burning beneath my freckles just from that, actually, so. I’m happy.
“I should have known,” Ralph echoes quietly, shaking his head in self-directed frustration. “It just never occurred to me for one second that Aiden… or Noah, for that matter. Both of my brothers, and I didn’t figure it out. I have no radar for that stuff, man.”
“Well, that’s fine. You don’t really need one for anything, right? Now that you’re just not talking shit to anyone about it.”
“Yeah, true. Just annoys me when other people know stuff I don’t.”
“I mean…” I slowly raise an eyebrow at Ralph. “Everyone in the whole world knows stuff that you don't, dude. But everyone in the whole world knows stuff that I don't, too, and like, you're part of that. The only way to know everything is together, and even then I bet we still couldn’t. That’s something to contemplate… or maybe it means absolutely nothing? I’m not sure. Are we still stoned?”
“Maybe,” Ralph laughs helplessly, rubbing his eyes. “Yeah. Think so. Just in case, though, save that discussion for when you and I have like - a porch, and another six-pack, and a couple of hours to spare.”
I smile at Ralph in warm surprise. “Sure, man! Sounds nice. I’m gonna take you up on that.”
Ralph gives me a smile, then kind of tries to cancel it out by rolling his eyes at me. He glances past me as Aiden slips into the kitchen, stretching his powerful arms over his head.
He comes up behind me, enveloping me in a soft sweep of vetiver-scented air. Brushes a kiss onto my cheek as he crosses to the fridge. Noah comes in after him, moving quietly and carefully so he doesn’t wake up the sleeping baby in his arms.
“Okay, princesse,” he murmurs gently, kissing the top of her head before he hands her off to Ralph. “You gotta go to your uncle for a minute, if you’re not gonna let anyone put you down. Dad’s arms are tired.”
Niki voices no objections, drowsily burying her face into Ralph’s neck as soon as he has her settled in the crook of his arm. Aiden stops on Ralph’s other side to affectionately tap Nikita’s nose with his fingertip, and she giggles sleepily, hiding her face against Ralph’s chest.
She opens her big brown eyes to watch as Noah rests his head on Ralph’s shoulder, closes his eyes, and yawns, making all the hardware in his face glitter.
Ralph’s grey-green eyes flit to Noah in concern. “You alright, Noosh?”
“Mhm.” Noah rubs his eyes, flashing Ralph a thumbs-up. “Niki had a little fever last night. She’s fine now, but Raj and I were trying to get her to sleep for hours. It’s the best, being a dad. Sometimes it’s just really tiring.”
“Well, you’ve always got us if you need us,” Ralph murmurs, gently smoothing his hand over Nik’s wispy black hair.
“Yeah, we’re happy to take her,” Aiden says, straightening out her little onesie. “Or to help with anything.”
Noah nods, a dimpled smile turning up his mouth. “Yeah, I know.”
Ralph and Aiden both affectionately lean over Nik, and Noah closes his tired eyes again for a moment.
The three of them with Nik make a sweet sight, so I scoop up Ralph’s camera from the countertop and snap a picture.
He had been smiling down at Nikita, but now he looks up at me sharply. It seems like he’s puzzled about what I’m doing, so I quickly drop my gaze to the camera and begin to flip through the photos he’s taken today.
Then I stop, staring in surprise.
“Aw! Ralph, this is… oh, my god.”
It’s a shot of Ripley, from his graduation. Ralph must have taken it at the exact moment when we all went crazy in the audience. Ripley is stopped almost halfway across the stage in his graduation robe and cap. His green eyes are wide with surprise and staring out at the crowd, his mouth falling open with the very beginning of a laugh. Behind him, in the background, is Gabby. Staring in the same direction as Ripley with a very alarmed expression, her hands spread in bewilderment.
I let out a disbelieving laugh, then look up at Ralph with a giant grin on my face.
“Ralph! This is the best! Did you show Ripples this yet?”
“Show Ripples what?” asks Raj, joining us in the kitchen. He sees the photo over my shoulder, and lets out an immediate, startled laugh. “Holy shit! Oh, Ralph, that’s incredible. Ripley’s gonna want a copy purely for the look on Gabby’s face. And maybe I do, too? Yo - let’s frame it for the workshop!”
“Seriously?” Ralph asks Raj, as Noah and Aiden dissolve into quiet laughter when I turn the camera around so they can see.
“Yes, dude, promise me you’re gonna print that! We need a Ralph original for our new spot, anyways.”
Ralph kind of laughs, blinking at Raj like he’s confused. Then he looks down quickly as Nik, woken up by the laughter, buries her face deeper into his shirt.
Mel pads quietly into the kitchen, yawning sleepily. She smiles when she sees Nik in Ralph’s arms, then drifts over to gently take her from him.
“Think it’s time I got this one into bed,” she murmurs, kissing Nik’s little forehead. “Alix is falling asleep, too, so I’ll drop her off. Are you guys just gonna play video games until you all accidentally pass out here?”
Raj gives her braid a gentle tug. “In all likelihood, yes. Unless you need our help with Nik, ‘cause then obviously we’ll-”
“No, no.” Mel yawns again, then smiles as she leans up to kiss him. “You guys were up with her all last night. It’s my turn.”
Mel rolls up onto her toes to give Noah a kiss, too, giggling softly at how enthusiastically he returns it. Then she gently says goodnight to all of us, and heads for the door with Nik.
Nik straightens up to peer over her shoulder at Raj and Noah, who are watching her with twin adoring expressions in their eyes. She reaches her little hands out to them, her wide brown eyes blinking slowly.
“Da,” she squeals softly, sleepily. “Da bwa da da…”
Noah presses his tattooed hands over his mouth, and Raj puts a fist to his chest, like it’s so good it hurts.
“She’s so close, dude,” Noah says hopefully, as Mel pauses by the door. “Swear it’s gonna be any minute.”
“Can you say ‘I love you, daddy’?” Mel asks, turning her head to smile at Nik.
She can’t, but at the word daddy she twists to beam at Raj and Noah, looking back and forth between them. She’s breathing excitedly enough that we can all hear her tiny panting, and she reaches for both of them with a little squeaking, stuttering sound.
Noah and Raj both groan helplessly, then rush for her at once. Nik and Mel both dissolve into giggles as they find themselves enwrapped in a flurry of fast little kisses. It takes Mel a minute or two to battle her way free and back away towards the kitchen door. Her braid is all rumpled, her face blushing with laughter, her baby in a fit of breathless giggles in her arms.
“Honestly!” she wails, spreading a hand on Raj’s face to push him back. She flashes a warning look at Noah as he bends down like he’s about to pick her up off of her feet. “Noah Raunier, you stop that right now!”
“Oh, that sounded familiar,” Ralph laughs, to a soft snicker from Aiden.
“I was just getting ready to say,” he rumbles.
Melanie tries to scowl at the two of them, but ends up giggling again as she steers Noah away from herself with her socked foot.
“Goodnight, dummies,” she calls softly, affectionately, and disappears through the door.
“Goodnight,” we all call back.
Noah loops back around to stand by Ralph at the counter, and Ripley slips past Melanie into the kitchen, looking slightly dazed.
“Jesus, I just got annihilated,” he groans, coming over to the kitchen counter. “Who’s up next against Calla? Whoever it is, you should know that she’s terrifying. Felt like somehow she and the Xbox teamed up to destroy me.”
“Attagirl,” Ralph murmurs beneath his breath, smiling to himself.
“Oh, god,” Raj says, clearly alarmed. “Wish me luck, brothers.”
“No need to be afraid of me, Raj,” Calla says innocently, joining us in the kitchen. She crosses to Ralph and leans back against him. She settles her shoulder blades against his chest and lifts the half-smoked joint to her mouth, laughing as Ralph reaches around to light it for her. “It wasn’t really fair, me going up against Ripley. He hit the joint right before we started. He was higher than the top of Aiden’s head.”
Aiden tries to scowl, but he ends up snickering as all the rest of us laugh. Ralph breaks into a wide grin, looping one arm around Calla’s waist.
I cuddle back against Aiden. Feeling peaceful in our crowded little kitchen, savoring a moment of perfect contentment - then realize I’m watching Ralph quietly do the same thing, right across from me.
He’s resting his chin on the top of Calla’s head, his blonde eyelashes resting on his cheekbones, his smile half-lost in the shadows.
As I watch, his green eyes open and slowly rove over all the faces here. I make sure to look away before he gets to mine, so he doesn’t know I saw. I don’t want to do anything to change the expression on his face.
“Alright, Raj, it’s you and me,” Calla says brightly. “Let’s do this.”
Raj startles everyone with a sudden, loud, genuinely terrified whimper of fear. All of us instantly burst out laughing, except for Noah, who had somehow already dozed off. He gives a jolt and drowsily shifts his head on Ralph’s shoulder, but doesn’t lift it.
“Raj,” he mumbles, rubbing his eyes. “D’you hear that? Is the baby crying?”
“Aw!” Raj leans down to stamp an affectionate kiss on Noah’s forehead, cuddling up to him. “No, but that was cute of you!”
“Does this all have to be happening on my shoulder?” Ralph laughs, tilting his head all the way to the other side. “Noosh, get up.”
Ralph tries to lean far enough away that Noah will fall off of him. Noah’s response is to sleepily slump further into him, until Ralph is trapped between Aiden on one side, Noah on the other, and Calla still relaxing back against him from the front. Cuddled up to Aiden as I am, I end up catching a handful of Ralph’s shirt so we don’t all go toppling to the floor. Only Aiden’s unshakeable gravity saves us, and Ripley has to scurry out of the way so we don’t send him flying.
“Seriously?” Ralph laughs, as Noah finally startles awake.
Noah rubs his eyes, then quickly straightens up. “Oh - what happened? I’m up! What are we doing?”
“What’s happening,” Ralph explains patiently, “Is that we’re all gonna go watch Calla destroy Raj-”
“Hey, bruh! Don’t assume that I’m gonna lose just because I’m trembling in fear and I’m sweating a little and I feel like I forgot all the buttons!”
“-and then she’s probably gonna destroy me next,” Ralph finishes. “I need to watch what happens with Raj, figure out her strategy, and come up with a plan of attack.”
“No, I don’t think so,” Calla says lightly, stepping out of Ralph’s arms to follow Raj and Ripley to the kitchen door. “I would never hand you an advantage like that.”
Ralph blinks in surprise, taking a step after her. “How are you gonna stop m-?”
He breaks off, spinning around in surprise as his leather wristbands stop him with a gentle tug. Calla must have silently unclasped them, then reclasped them around the handle of the kitchen drawer behind him, temporarily locking him in place.
“Can’t stop you, but I can slow you down!” Calla calls, already slipping out through the door.
“What-?” Ralph passes off the joint to me, then starts trying to undo the clasp one-handed. He flashes a wide-eyed glance at Noah and Aiden, half-laughing. “Holy shit. This girl, I’m telling you.”
Aiden and Noah both laugh, grinning at the flustered expression on his face.
“Raj said that he has a good feeling about Calla and me,” Ralph adds absent-mindedly, freeing his wrist.
He clasps the wristbands back in place, then looks up in surprise, taken aback by our collective reaction to that. At the same time, Aiden broke into an enormous grin, Noah let out a low whistle, and I let out a soft gasp of delight.
“What the fuck?” Ralph laughs, bewildered.
“Dude, you don’t know like we do,” Noah says excitedly, fixing him with a dimpled grin. “Raj has got a way of seeing through to the heart of things. His instincts are unreal. It’s a real good sign when Raj has a good feeling about something. Just trust me on that.”
Ralph stares at Noah, caught by surprise, then slowly breaks into a small, nervous smile.
“Anyways, let’s go witness this slaughter,” Noah says, nudging my elbow.
I follow him towards the door, but Aiden catches Ralph’s arm before he can come with me.
“Dude, I’ve been trying to snag you on your own,” he tells Ralph, leaning back against the kitchen counter. “We’ve gotta talk.”
Ralph immediately grows serious, his features tensing. “Everything alright?”
“Yeah, I just haven’t had a second to talk to you alone.” Aiden fondly ruffles Ralph’s blonde hair. “We've got stuff to debrief. Haven’t even had time to tell you that my aunt got herself a date, possibly a boyfriend.”
“What?” Ralph says, his eyes widening in surprise. “No shit, really? After all this time?”
“Yeah. He’s a serviceman, too.”
Ralph pauses, his eyebrows furrowing in faint concern. “Airborne?”
“No. Navy Chaplain Corps, retired. Remember the priest from Noah’s wedding?”
Ralph’s mouth drops open. “No fucking way. The huge dude built like a grizzly bear, with all the tattoos and-?”
“Yeah. Yeah.”
Ralph whistles in disbelief, then flashes Aiden a grin. “A Navy man, huh? Ahoy, Ms. Callahan.”
“Shut up!” Aiden groan-laughs, giving his arm a shove. “I don’t even know how to feel about it, man. My aunt seems happy, though… and Jamie likes the guy, which I don’t take for nothing. I dunno, I’ve been waiting to hear what your big brain thinks about this, so I’ve gotta tell you about him.”
Ralph twists his mouth to the side, I think to hide a smile. “Lay it on me, A.”
He and Aiden fall into a quiet conversation with each other. Their low voices, full of comfortable intimacy, are surprisingly soothing to my ears. I find myself lingering there for a moment, watching them affectionately. I know that things are really different between them these days, but I’m trying to picture them as kids, the way they were when they met. I’m wondering if they always talked like this. If they always did that thing where they arch an eyebrow at each other instead of laughing, but then laugh anyways.
I think they must have. They’re like this with Noah, too.
Like people walking pathways they know by heart, that they’ve known almost forever, with enough familiarity to navigate with their eyes closed.
Want to leave a comment? I would love it if you did, and you can do so on the Tapas episode!