Sunbeams - Part Ten
This episode is part of a larger story, Soft Touch. If you haven’t yet, you can go back and read it from the beginning right here.
“Okay,” Aiden murmurs. “Think I know where to start.”
I’ve been stretched out on our bed working on a lesson plan for Ellen, but now I look up in surprise. This is the first thing Aiden has said in a while. He’s been deep in his thoughts.
I told him it might help if he thought out loud and bounced ideas off of me, but he said that this time it probably wouldn’t.
“Sorry, Keane, but I’m trying to think through how to do a piece of magic, and there are no good words to describe what I mean.”
“Maybe we should come up with some words, so we can talk about it more easily?” I suggested.
“Sure, but maybe later? I just really don’t want to lose my train of thought-”
“Yeah, no!” I gave Aiden an understanding nod, quickly waving a hand at him. “Take your time!”
And he did. He ate dinner and took a shower in unbroken silence. His blue eyes were very far away, lost in thought.
I really didn’t mind. I love my quiet Companion Plant. I found myself watching him with adoring eyes the whole time.
But now, apparently, he’s ready to talk.
A burst of wild excitement moves through my chest.
I never get tired of seeing Aiden do magic. The wonder of it never wears off, never ebbs in the slightest. This could be the very first time, in his old attic apartment above Kent’s house. Based on the electric, anticipatory thrills rushing through me, nothing has changed between then and now.
I scramble off of the bed and look up at Aiden, an eager grin spreading across my face. “Holy shit, okay! What do we do?”
He quirks an eyebrow at me, then huffs out a soft laugh. “You’re excited, aren’t you?”
“Yep! Let’s get going, come on. We should go to the Ghost Office, right? Just to be safe?”
Aiden starts to shrug in agreement, then suddenly seems to remember something. “Nah, we - let’s stay here. It’ll be fine. Nothing explosive is gonna happen.”
“What is gonna happen?”
“Alright, I - I’m gonna do my best to explain.” Aiden snags the glasses from the top of our dresser, then turns them over in his careful fingers. “The ghost goggles are an enhancement tool. They sharpen my ability to sense spectral energy, which I have naturally, but only in its simplest form, hearing the energy note. The ghost goggles don’t really do that for you, because you don’t need them. You have the Vision, which is - something different.”
“Right. So?”
“So, I know how I See. But how you See, your Vision - it was an accidental byproduct of another piece of magic. The magic I did that turned Kasey into a ghost. Which means… I have no idea how I did it, or what sort of magic it is. I’ve never tried to understand it better, but it is a piece of magic, so it is understandable. I think. To me, anyways. Again, I don’t really know how to explain.”
Aiden stops for a moment, catching his breath.
“That was a lot of talking,” he rumbles, rubbing the strong line of his jaw like it’s sore. “How do you do it, man? It’s exhausting.”
My eyebrows fly all the way up. “You think that was a lot? Oh, my god.”
“The point is, I did a piece of permanent magic that’s become a permanent part of you. But it’s still my magic, and I can reach for it. If I’m gonna try to do it again, step one is for me to get a feel for what I’ve already done.”
I blink at Aiden, confused. “When you say reach for the magic…?”
“I mean that I need to feel it for myself. Through the connection.”
“Oh. Okay.” I pause for a second, narrowing my eyes at Aiden. “Why are you wincing at me?”
There’s a silence, during which Aiden closes his eyes and crinkles up his nose in self-directed frustration. Struggling hard for the right words to explain it to me.
“Thing is, if I reach for your Vision with my magic, it might, um… goddamnit, fucking how do I…? Okay, let’s say you’re feeling around in the sand, trying to find a specific kind of seashell.”
“Um-”
“But you’re not exactly sure what you’re feeling for, and there are lots of different kinds of shells on the beach. So you might pull other ones up to the surface before you find the right one. Is this making any kind of sense?”
“The shells are…?”
“Different kinds of vision.”
“Oh.” I draw back in surprise. “Don’t I only have two, though? Human, and - ghost?”
“I have no idea how many you have, dude.” Aiden gently ruffles my hair, takes a strand between his fingers, and gives it a soft tug. “You’re thinking on a scientific level, but I’m talking about magic. I’m not even gonna attempt to guess how many different kinds of hidden sight human beings have that can only be reached with magic. Especially you. You see so much. Always have. Way before I ever gave you the Vision.”
I take a second to absorb that, then slowly look up at Aiden again. “So, um - what does this mean, exactly?”
He lapses into silence for a moment, choosing his words.
“When the connection is open, you might See with a few different types of magical vision. Or hear things, or sense them some other way. Your different senses are intertwined, especially magical ones. But that’s all. It’ll stop once this is over.”
I narrow my eyes suspiciously at Aiden. “Demon Vision?”
He huffs out an affectionate laugh and thumbs my chin, blue eyes full of warmth. “That’s not a thing, so. No.”
I hesitate, thinking about it more.
“There’s no chance you’ll accidentally take my Vision away, is there? Because if I can’t see Kasey and Will anymore-”
“I won’t ask the magic to take anything,” Aiden promises, his deep voice dropping to a reassuring murmur, his hand cupping my cheek. “And I actually don’t think I can take it away from you. It’ll still be there when this is over.”
I fall silent again, turning it over in my mind.
On the one hand, I’m a little scared of what I might see or hear with different senses of mine activated. Ones I’ve never used before, and don’t know the nature of in the slightest. Demon Vision is off the table, it sounds like, but what else is there?
On the other hand, I can’t pretend that I’m not burning with curiosity. I glance around at our bedroom, wondering what it might look like on planes of vision that normally go unreached. The science teacher in me is dying to know.
Besides, it sounds like I’ll only see with each kind of sight very quickly, just as long as it takes for Aiden to realize he’s reaching for the wrong thing. And every time I’ve trusted myself to his Guardian magic before, I’ve come out alright, or better for it. Never worse.
Most importantly, I trust him. I know better than to think that Aiden would even suggest this idea if he wasn’t absolutely sure I’d be alright.
“Okay…” I say slowly, haltingly. And then, more firmly - “Okay. Yeah.”
“Really?” Aiden takes me by the jaw and tilts my face up, searches my eyes intently with his. “You sure?”
“Yeah.” I give him an earnest nod, then add, “Although I’m tempted to just close my eyes and not see anything.”
“Okay,” Aiden says, around a scoff of skeptical laughter.
He knows me too well to buy that. There’s no way I would ever keep my eyes closed for this.
“Whatever, let’s just do it!” I step back and shake out my hands, rolling up the sleeves of my flannel. “What do I have to do?”
“Nothing,” Aiden murmurs, catching my hands in his warm fingers. “Just let the barriers down, so I can open the connect-”
Oh. You did it already. That was fast, Linden.
Yeah, well. I trust you, Sugar Maple.
Aiden’s outward expression doesn’t change from one of serious concentration, but I feel his pleased, flustered smile through the connection.
Okay, good. Just, um. Focus. You’re a little distracted. I can feel it.
Sorry, it just - it feels so good to open the connection. I let out a silent, happy sigh as the sweet sensation of magic and energy flowing back and forth between us rolls through me. Kinda knocks me out, every single time.
Again, I feel Aiden smiling. Yeah. Me too.
There’s a pause, and then - Maybe don’t look at me during this, Keane? Keep your eyes on our room?
My eyes flutter open to look up at Aiden in surprise. Don’t look at you? Why not?
He shrugs nervously, blushing a little. Because I don’t know what I look like in other forms of vision. What if it’s not, like - and then you’re standing there staring right at me, and…?
My eyebrows once again go flying up. You’re - worried you’re not gonna look cute, is that what you’re saying?
Okay, don’t put it like that, it’s not - I mean, who knows how I-? Look, I’m allowed to want to look good in front of my own fucking boyfriend, aren’t I?
Oh, my god. I laugh affectionately through the connection, my heart swimming with love. Just do it, you big goon. I’m ready.
Aiden gently lets one of my hands go, so we can stand side by side in our bedroom. A flicker of icy blue light sparks in his eyes, catches, and shines out radiantly. It slowly begins to swirl and move, casting its blue glow onto his cheekbones.
I feel Aiden beginning to gently take hold of the energy flowing between us. Spilling some into me, so that he can work with a manageable amount. It soars up from our intertwined fingers, winding its way up my arm. A rush of invisible electricity, sparkling and humming and full of warmth. I let out a soft breath, biting my lip.
I open my eyes again.
So far as I can tell, my vision hasn’t been altered yet. Our bedroom looks the same to me as it did a minute ago. Midnight black, star-scattered skies through all of the mismatched windows. A soft wind drifting in from the always-open window, the one the tree branch grows in through. The stove in the corner is lit, giving off a low red glow, and the lights are switched on, shedding their golden warmth onto us and the room. The malachite cutting - its own little sprout now, really - is perched upright in its container, leaves arched towards Aiden.
I glance at the windows, wondering if Luna is out sleeping beneath the malachite tree, which she’s started doing pretty often lately.
Then I blink hard a few times, baffled by the sight that meets my eyes.
I looked out of the window expecting to see the trees of our garden, but I’m seeing far beyond that.
I’m looking at Kasey and Will’s Haunted House. Which I know for a fact is all the way past the groves of trees and over a stretch of field, set near the river. But I’m staring at it in perfect, close-up clarity, like I’m standing twenty feet away from it. I can even hear the rush of the river in movement.
I can see Kasey, sitting on the roof with Will. She’s snuggled up under one of his translucent arms, grinning happily, half-laughing at something he’s saying.
When my eyes travel slightly to the side, I see the shadowy nighttime forest like I’m walking through it. I can make out the details of trees that I know must be miles away. I can hear the wind flowing through their leaves.
Not - not this one, I stammer to Aiden, thunderstruck. I think this Vision is, um. Long distance?
Is it? Shit. Let’s try something else…
The next time I blink, my vision is back to normal - then gone. My eyes are open, and I’m trying to look around, but pitch-blackness is all I get back, the darkest darkness I’ve ever seen.
I can’t make out anything, and then - I - can?
But not with my eyes. I’m hearing where everything is. As if it’s all giving off a frequency, a vibration that somehow paints an image in my mind. Such a sharp, clear image that I know exactly where the dresser is, the bed, everything. I could walk around this room without bumping into anything. Through the vibrations, I see some kind of tiny animal digging in the garden, birds roosting in the trees, Luna moving around downstairs -
That’s not it, Aiden murmurs. Sorry, one sec.
I blink, then flinch at the brightness of the returned light, despite its very gentle, low glow. But I’m seeing with my eyes again.
That was a weird one. Aiden is staring at me. Your eyes turned completely black.
Really? Jesus. All this time I’ve been afraid of demons, and it turns out I am one.
I’ve been saying that for a while now, Little Demon.
Yeah, yeah. Why’d you stop, by the way?
Because. Aiden gives me a searching, anxious look. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay, that this isn’t too much for you?
Aw. Thanks for checking, but I’m fine! Just a little, um… what’s the word for when your Companion Plant does magic, and even though you’ve already seen him in action a million times, you still get fucking bowled over by it? Is there a word for that?
Aiden blushes again, then shrugs, all casual. I don’t think so?
That’s another word we’ll have to come up with, then. But really, I’m alright.
Okay. Then I’m gonna keep going.
Yep. I take a deep breath, looking around at the bedroom again. Go ahead. I’m starting to wonder what’s n-
I break off sharply, my breath stopping in my chest. For a bewildering moment, I have no idea where I am or what’s going on.
Our bedroom is gone. I’m staring straight out at the night sky, like I’m… in it. Effortlessly gliding through it, sailing on the wind. So much closer to the stars than I can ever remember being before, even though I can feel my feet on the ground.
I nearly scream when I look down and see the roof of our house, so far beneath me that I could block it out with one hand. My vision is soaring high up overhead, looking down. A soft, low hoot from somewhere in the forest instantly snaps up my attention, and I hear a call of answer that sounds like it’s coming from very close to me, if not… oh, my god.
Aiden, um - I think you’ve got me seeing through the eyes of an owl flying over our house -
Oh shit, sorry! I’ll reach for a different vision, one sec -
I let out a huge breath of relief when I open my eyes and find myself looking around our bedroom again. Then I blink and do a double-take, my eyes growing very wide.
There’s a door in the wall, behind our bed. One that definitely wasn’t there before.
It’s a strange door. It ripples and flickers like a mirage, and it’s the texture of shimmering smoke. But undoubtedly a door. With an opening for a key, one that seems to fade in and out of existence as I watch.
I’m suddenly, inexplicably aware of other invisible doors in our house. Invisible doors that lead to invisible stairs, which lead to invisible winding pathways beyond them. Tiny, invisible doors in our garden - these ones always left open - which chipmunks and birds and all kinds of little creatures flit in and out of all day. Slipping off into other places, then returning without realizing just how far they’ve gone.
I… I don’t know what this kind of vision is, I murmur to Aiden.
We’re getting into deeper levels of vision, now. These ones are more complex and, ah - arcane, I want to say? So it’s fine if we don’t know what they are. Unless - is it scary?
I give it a moment of thought before I answer, staring at the strange door in our room. Actually… no. It doesn’t seem menacing, or anything like that. And we don’t have the key, anyways.
What the fuck does that m-? Actually - nevermind. Don’t tell me. Let’s just move on.
When I blink again, the doors are gone, and the bedroom looks normal again, but -
I can hear the clouds, I tell Aiden wonderingly. Man, that sounds beautiful. I think it’s gonna rain.
Okay, don’t know what that means, but that’s not it, so…
I blink again, and I’m seeing the bedroom in… colors that I don’t recognize. Colors I’ve never seen before in my life. I’m seeing the mingled colors of rest and passion in our bed. The opalescent color of wind blowing in through the windows. The shimmering color of the rain droplets it’s carrying.
Impossible to even attempt to describe to Aiden. I could point at the bed and say it’s red and copper and gold, but it’s not. It’s something else.
Aiden reaches for a different kind of vision before I can say anything. I blink, then let out a soft gasp, my hand flying up over my mouth.
The colors are gone, and a forest is growing into our house.
A forest more rich and dense and wild than any I’ve set eyes on before. It looks to me like the result of millions of years of untouched growth, never tampered with by hands of any kind.
Enormous flowers explode in such thick and wild profusion from the floor that they reach my waist. Immense tree boughs are shooting up through the roof, rich moss hanging heavily from every branch. Other plants have begun to grow right out from the branches, big enough that there are plants growing from those plants, too. Every inch of our bedroom is filled with leaves and stems and petals. With branches heavy with colorful fruit, ripe enough to burst. With clusters of mushrooms, some of them glowing softly.
I get the sense that this forest stretches hundreds of feet over our heads. Leaves are fluttering down onto me at a rate that suggests the canopy somewhere above is huge enough to put off a constant rain of them. The roots of this forest must begin so far beneath our feet.
I take a deep breath, and an unbelievable rush of pure, green forest air reaches my lungs.
Then I blink, and it’s gone. Aiden must have reached for another kind of vision.
The bedroom looks normal again, until my eyes catch on the mirror. Something is floating just above my head.
It’s - me, but scaled down to a size where I would fit in a dollhouse. I’m on my knees, gently snipping heavy, dead leaves off of a plant. An equally tiny Aiden is there, stretched out nearby with his chin on his folded arms, watching me. Every time I snip a brown leaf away, he reaches out and touches a fingertip to where it was. Sets a new, green leaf growing in its place.
The whole thing strikes me as incredibly familiar, and I realize with a jolt what it is.
I look at Aiden, and see a tiny scene floating above his head, too. It’s a tiny version of me, except I have the same red stubble beard I had when he saw me in the past. I’m laying naked and stretched out in a soft white bed, on my stomach. There’s a long, white curtain flowing towards me from a nearby window, translucent and rippling in the breeze. It brushes against my ankles, my calves.
I’m looking out through the window, like I’m waiting for someone.
I can see your dream from last night, Aiden. It’s hanging around your head. I can see mine, too.
What-? He blushes deeply. Okay, moving on!
Now our bedroom is the same, only the dreams are gone and the light is a deep, dark green, as if we’re underwater, or as if the light is all spilling through emerald stained glass. I scarcely have time to look around before I blink and it all changes again. This time I don’t see anything unusual, but something draws my eyes back to the mirror.
I draw in a sharp gasp, causing Aiden to pause for a second.
What? he whispers, but I can’t answer him.
There we are in the mirror, holding hands. But we’re - children. Aiden and I can’t be more than six or seven years old in the mirror. Me, short and scrawny and freckled, my red hair longer and wildly disorganized, sticking up in places. Aiden, round-cheeked and smeared with a little bit of dirt and grass on his legs, like he was playing soccer. Chestnut hair in a silly tumble. Big blue eyes staring out from a sweet, shy face.
Oh, Aiden, I say quietly, in an adoring voice.
Okay, don’t know what that means, but it sounds embarrassing, and you’re staring at me in the mirror, so… moving on. Think I’m getting faster at this.
He is. The next kinds of vision flash by so fast that I catch only glimpses of them. One second everything is radiantly bright, sparkling like diamonds, and the next there’s a deep silence and darkness, in which I can only seem to make out things that are moving. Then everything looks - normal again.
Did you stop, Aiden?
No, this is a kind of Vision. Why, are you not seeing anything unusual?
I don’t think s-
I freeze to the spot as a voice begins speaking to me. Or - is it a voice? If a voice could be made of creaking wood and the wind through open windows and the rough scratch of bricks, then yes.
If our house is surprised to be speaking to me, or to find me listening, it doesn’t show.
So nice to be a home again, instead of only a house. Such warm days again, so much laughter to absorb, and just when I thought maybe no one would want me... But that little bird flew into my window tonight, poor thing… it was nesting near my chimney, before, and I’m so worried it might be hurt -
The voice cuts off as Aiden changes my vision again.
But nothing else happens, and the bedroom doesn’t change. I stand there frozen in uncertain silence, staring around.
This - this all looks normal to me, Aiden. Is this my ghost Vision?
No, it doesn’t have any traces of my magic. Your Vision would. This must be something else.
I glance at the mirror, then do a double-take.
Without letting go of Aiden’s hand, I step closer to the mirror and stare at myself.
Aiden, I can see… there’s golden light in my eyes. It looks like your light.
There’s a silence from behind me as Aiden thinks about that. I stare into my own eyes, not used to seeing them like this. They’re the lightest shade of hazel possible, glowing from within with Heliomancer light.
Oh, you know what, Keane? I bet this is truesight. That’s why you can see my magic in your eyes. Because it’s - there.
I watch the rippling, golden light moving in my eyes. Doesn’t truesight let you see through illusions?
It lets you see things how they really are, I thought.
Hmm. Then yeah, maybe. The malachite cutting is glowing, too, so - holy shit. Oh my g-god.
I falter into stunned, awestruck silence, having turned around to look at Aiden with my truesight.
My breath is knocked out of my lungs. Instantly, just like that. I stare at Aiden with my mouth dropped open, my eyes as wide as they go.
He draws back in surprise, then starts blinking very fast, nervous shyness making a soft blush rise in his cheeks.
What? he asks.
But I can’t answer him. A silent, earth-shattering lightning strike has hit me, rendering me completely speechless. I can’t even breathe, much less speak. My heart is so full of molten love that it actually hurts.
“A-Aiden,” I stammer, out loud.
Come on, man, you’re making me nervous! What is it? Truesight doesn’t suit me?
You - y-you - you -
Okay, this is - I… Aiden shifts nervously from foot to foot, then drops his head, trying to hide his face. Don’t tell me. Sounds like it’s something bad. I’m just gonna move on to the next kind, alright?
No, I blurt out, squeezing his hand. Wait wait wait, gimme one more second of this one, one more -
He’s already changed it. Once again, the room looks completely normal to me, and Aiden looks the way that he always looks.
But the way he looked a few seconds ago is permanently locked into my heart and mind, imprinted there in perfect, blazing clarity.
God, you have so many kinds of vision, Jamie. How the fuck are we ever gonna find…? Oh, this - this is it! Aiden stares down at me excitedly, the ice-blue light in his eyes flickering. Found it! Your Vision.
I’m still reeling too hard to answer. Aiden tilts his head slightly to the side, looking at me in concern, then gently breaks the connection.
“Are you okay, Keane?” he asks softly, knuckling my cheek.
I sink against him a little, trying to catch my breath. “I - I-”
Oh, my god. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t even know what he really looks like. Of course he doesn’t, how could he?
I stare into Aiden’s eyes, dazed beyond belief, then give myself a shake, struggling to pull it together.
“Okay,” I stammer, slipping my phone out of my pocket. “First thing’s first.”
Aiden glances down at my phone in growing alarm. “What?”
I’m already heading for the stairs, so I beckon for him with a nod of my head. “Come on, let’s go!”
Aiden rushes after me as I sprint down the stairs and race for the kitchen door. “Where are we going, dude?”
I rush out into the softly-falling rain, turning on my phone flashlight as I go. I throw an arm out to stop Aiden when he comes flying outside after me.
“Careful,” I murmur, aiming the light at the wet, glittering mass of earth and plants by our feet. “Watch where you step.”
Aiden seems ready to ask what we’re doing again, but instead he pulls out his phone and gets his light added to mine. We walk slowly around the edge of the garden, sticking close to the house, Aiden following behind me. The wet grass sticks to my bare feet, sending a little chill up my back, and the rain is slowly flattening my hair to my forehead, but I’m determined.
Aiden and I move slowly around the side of the house, treading along by my kitchen garden.
My pool of light falls on something. It catches a little flutter of movement, just beneath the kitchen window. I come to a stop so sharply that Aiden bumps into my back. I hand him my phone, and he takes it, staring at me in confusion as I kneel down and very slowly move aside some leaves.
A tiny, trembling little thing stares up at me in obvious terror, huddled into itself against the rain.
“What…?” Aiden begins, then trails off.
“Oh, no,” I murmur, as gently and softly as possible. “Are you hurt? It’s okay, we’ve got you. We’re here to help.”
I reach out very slowly. The tiny, injured bird starts cheeping frantically at me, waterlogged wings fluttering helplessly. It tries to take flight, but wobbles and falls back to the ground, feathery little body breathing hard.
The bird doesn’t try to fly off again as I gently take it into my hands. I hold it close to my chest, trying to shield it from the rain, then take a second to press a reassuring hand to the wall of our house.
I straighten up and turn to face Aiden, the trembling little ball of feathers clasped to my chest.
Aiden stares down at me, something warm glowing in his eyes.
“Okay,” I stammer, running a shaky hand over my forehead. “Now we can talk.”
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