Connection - Part Sixteen
This episode is part of a larger story, Soft Touch. If you haven’t yet, you can go back and read it from the beginning right here.
Instant silence falls. Noelle just stands there in the middle of the lake with the paintball gun in her hands. Frozen, staring over her shoulder at Logan.
Oh, no, I whisper inwardly.
Noelle snaps back into the present with a little jolt. Her cheeks burning, she rushes back through the water towards land, where she immediately drops the paintball gun into her empty chair.
“Hey – hey!” she calls breathlessly, deeply startled. She hurries over to him, wringing out her skirt. “Logan! What a – a nice surprise! I thought you weren’t back until tomorrow!”
“I caught an earlier flight,” Logan answers slowly.
He’s staring in a distinctly unamused way at Noelle’s drenched skirt and shoes, her wild braid. The much more wild light in her eyes, and accompanying deep blush to her cheeks.
Noelle seems painfully aware of all of those things, now. She sweeps a hand down her inky braid, visibly searching for something to say.
“I thought I’d come meet you where you said you’d be,” Logan goes on, frowning.
“How was your trip?” Noelle winces guiltily, twisting her fingertips together. “How was it seeing your poor uncle? Are you okay? I’m sure it was hard…”
“I’d love to tell you all about it,” Logan says stiffly, attempting what I think is supposed to be a forgiving smile. “Maybe we should go somewhere else? Seems like this – isn’t the place to have a real conversation.”
“I – alright,” Noelle answers breathlessly, sounding whiplashed by the change of mood. She sets off towards Tim’s house, holding a handful of her wet skirt so it doesn’t pick up the fallen leaves. “Just let me go grab my stuff.”
“What’s going on?” Noah calls, trotting up to join us.
He’s a little out of breath, having raced around the lake. He left the others to gather up the gear, so he reaches us right as Noelle slips back into the house.
Logan turns to give him a deep frown. “We’re leaving. Noelle and I have things to talk about. And by the way, Noah, I feel I have a responsibility to tell you that I’m sure Noelle will be exhausted after today’s – excitement. You should stop to think of your sister’s health before you plan things for her. Anyone would think you didn’t care.”
Noah blinks at him, then goes white with anger.
It dawns on me that I’ve gotten to my feet, where I’ve since frozen in anxious silence. Alix’s hands have flown to her lips, and Melanie’s to her braid. None of us can believe what Logan just said.
Aiden – who’s leading Ralph, Ripley, and Raj back around the lake – must hear the alarm in my note, because he looks pretty alarmed himself. He and the others catch up to Noah just in time to hear him answer, through gritted teeth:
“She seemed happy to me, that’s what I care about. And I don’t see the harm in a little fun.”
Logan shakes his head regretfully at Noah, letting out a pitying sigh. “You remind me so much of your father.”
Noah’s grey eyes flash, turning as dark and hard and fiery as molten steel.
“Thank you,” he answers instantly, without missing a beat. “That’s about the nicest compliment anyone could give me.”
Logan blinks. For the first time, his ever-present, patronizing smile drops away. Unable to help himself, he breaks into a dark scowl, openly glaring back at Noah.
But beneath it he looks a little afraid, all of a sudden. He’s taking in the way Noah’s grey eyes are glittering, the expression in them. Logan may be older, but in his anger, with the flaming intensity of that stare, Noah suddenly looks about a foot taller.
Logan instinctively starts to take a step back, and catches himself just in time.
Recovering somewhat, he lets out an attempt at a contemptuous laugh. He starts towards the house, turning his head to tell Noah, over his shoulder:
“You’re not worth my time.”
Noah glares after him, holding his paintball mask so tightly that I half expect to hear it crack.
“I’ll leave you to your – games,” Logan adds, with a vague gesture at the paintball battlefield. “Like I said, Noelle and I are leaving. Unless you want to cause some kind of scene with her boyfriend right in front of her. I’m not sure that would win you any points with her, though. Not exactly in her good graces already, are you?”
Noah takes a step forward, but Aiden hastily catches his wrist, and Ralph a handful of his sweatshirt. Logan doesn’t even notice.
“You don’t fool me, Logan,” Noah calls after him, with a dragon’s breath level of fire in his soft, snarled words. “You never have.”
Logan freezes, then starts towards the house again without turning around.
“There goes the illusion of peace,” Aiden mutters under his breath.
Gage has stood up, his usual expression of calm warmth replaced with an expression of anger very near to Noah’s. The green in his eyes has grown dark with it.
Abruptly, impulsively, he sets off after Logan, following him with long strides towards the house. He catches his brother’s arm before he can go inside, quietly says something, and drags him around the side of the house instead.
“Oh, god!” I blurt out softly, rushing over to Aiden.
That’s what I always do in an emergency. I don’t know if this counts as one, but it feels like it. The peaceful day we were having turned into a lit powder keg. Noah certainly looks more than ready to explode. He’s standing there with his jaw working, his grey eyes blazing, his hands in two hard fists.
Raj looks worriedly at his expression, then rests a hand on his back.
“Nohea?” he murmurs. “Take a breath.”
Noah closes his eyes to try, with mixed success.
Ralph is glancing back and forth between Noah’s face and the house. Without warning, he wordlessly catches Noah’s wrist, then starts forward towards the patio door. Noah stares at Ralph in confusion, but mechanically lets himself be pulled along.
Ralph waves everyone back when we all start to follow.
“Stay out here, or it’ll be obvious,” he calls softly.
I decide to go anyways. I’m too nervous to just stand here. I fall into step behind Noah and Ralph as they covertly slip back into Tim’s house.
We all stop just inside the door, listening. I can hear the faint sounds of Noelle gathering up her things in the bathroom. Ralph puts a finger to his lips, then begins stealing silently towards the opposite end of the house.
Noah and I follow him. We watch uncertainly when he pauses at the end of the hallway, listening again. He gestures for us to get lower, so we both crouch down, following his lead.
The three of us sneak quietly into Tim’s bedroom. The windows have been left open, and through them, from outside, we can hear hushed voices. Logan and Gage, having some kind of argument.
Ralph beckons us closer, and I hesitate guiltily.
“You guys – are we just gonna listen in-?”
“Gage wants to tell us what’s happening, Jamie,” Noah whispers back fiercely. “He said he can’t.”
Unable to find a good argument against that, I join Noah and Ralph as they quietly draw up to the wall with the open windows. We all press our backs to it and fall silent, straining our ears to listen.
“-not that it’s any of your business, but what do you want me to do?” Logan is saying angrily, barely containing his voice to a whisper. “You think I’m excited about this? I tried, okay, the old bastard wouldn’t listen! If anything he’s more determined to have his way, now that he knows his time is almost up!”
“I don’t care what he said, it doesn’t change anything!” Gage whispers back heatedly. The shadow of him on the carpet points a finger at Logan’s shadow. “You can’t do this.”
“Do you have a better suggestion?” Logan snaps. “Where am I gonna find another girl for this? In this timeframe?”
“I don’t care! Logan, I mean it, do not do this, or I’ll tell her. I’ll tell her the truth.”
Logan’s voice drops to a threatening growl.
“Oh, yeah? Do you really think she’ll believe you, over her boyfriend? I don’t. Especially because – let me remind you – if you do that, or say anything about this to anyone, I’m gonna give her this.”
His shadow on the carpet takes something out of his jacket and holds it up to show Gage. I can’t tell what it is, so I steal a very fast peek through the window.
Logan is holding up an old, faded envelope, with what looks like a letter tucked inside. There’s some handwriting on the front, but the only thing I can clearly make out about the address is Ketterbridge. No stamp on it, though, or marks to show it was ever sent anywhere.
Gage flinches at the sight of the letter, dropping his head.
“Do you think she’ll listen to your story about her boyfriend once she finds out you’ve been after her yourself ever since you first met?” Logan asks icily.
Gage flinches again, not lifting his head. “That’s not even true, not at all. You’re twisting what I-”
“Whatever. You know damn well you put everything in here.” Logan tucks it back into his jacket’s inner pocket, then zips it up for good measure. “Besides, you don’t have a shred of proof. You can’t stop me, so just stay out of my way.”
Gage slowly lifts his head, winces like what he’s about to do is going to kill him, then begins slowly, in a begging voice -
“Logan, if – if you have ever given a damn about me, even for a second, please don’t-”
“Oh my god, Gage!” Logan breaks in, incredulous. “This is not the time to get sentimental! Do you realize how much is on the line here? You want me to give all that up because of some crush you had in high school?”
Gage tilts his head back, staring up at the sky instead of looking at Logan. “She’s more than that to me, and you know it.”
“Okay, you know what? She wants to be more practical. Well, this will be a lesson in that, because this is what’s practical. In fact, doing anything else would be insane. Haven’t you thought about my feelings, by the way? Don’t you realize I’m fucking ruined if this doesn’t work out?”
“Whose fault is that?” Gage snaps, suddenly at the end of his rope.
“Oh, don’t you dare come at me about what I’m doing with my work!” Logan answers seethingly. “What would dad say if he knew that this was what his younger son ended up doing with himself?”
“He would say he doesn’t have a younger son!”
“And whose fault is that?” Logan snaps angrily.
There’s a brief silence, and then -
“If you do this,” Gage says waveringly, “Then – I’m serious, I’m gonna tell Noelle the truth. I – I don’t care if you give her the letter.”
“Oh, really? Do you think your friendship will go back to normal, after she reads it? I’m not even sure she’ll want you around at all.”
There’s a pause before Gage answers.
“Maybe not, but I’m not letting this happen to her.”
“Okay,” Logan scoffs. “We’ll see about that.”
He starts to walk away, and Gage blurts out – “You won’t really do it, will you? Logan? You wouldn’t…”
Logan doesn’t bother to answer that. He’s already striding around towards the front of the house. Gage holds still for a few seconds, then rushes after him.
Ralph, Noah, and I all race back out into the hallway, then out through the patio door. We’re back with the others very fast, thank god. Ripley, Aiden, and Mel quickly put themselves in front of us, so it’s less noticeable that we’re slightly out of breath.
Logan comes around the side of the house, followed shortly by Gage. They both stop as Noelle pushes open the door of Tim’s house and slowly comes out, her backpack over one shoulder, her phone in her hand.
I could clearly see that she was flustered and shaken, thrown off by the abrupt change of mood. Now, though, she looks even more upset. Her face is pale, her eyes wide, her expression blank.
“I – I didn’t get it,” she says slowly, holding up her phone. “The encyclopedia. I didn’t get it.”
Gage’s expression falls, everything else briefly forgotten. He opens his mouth to say something, but before he can -
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Logan says consolingly, taking her hand. “That’s too bad. You know what, though? I have a surprise that’s going to cheer you right back up. Come on, let’s go.”
Noelle dazedly lets him take her hand, not really listening.
“Wait a sec, Noey,” Noah calls out immediately, starting towards her. “Hold up, can we just-?”
“Can – please – later, Noah,” she says distractedly, in a faint voice, very pale. “Please.”
He stops where he is, watching in anxious, anguished silence as she climbs into Logan’s rental car. Gage is watching with almost the same expression on his face. At the last second, he takes a few sudden, swift steps towards the car, but Logan is already turning it around onto the road.
All we can do is stand there and watch as they drive away.
~~~~
“Noah, baby,” Mel tries again, “Do you want to sit down?”
Noah does not, evidently. He does another pacing lap around the coffee table, twisting his wrist in his hand.
“I think I should go find them.” He stops to stare out through the living room window again, searching for any signs of a car pulling up. “I don’t know what this shit means, but I think maybe I should. Where did Gage go?”
“He’s out in the backyard, pacing and smoking a cigarette,” Aiden reports, with a sympathetic wince.
We left Tim’s place shortly after Logan and Noelle. No one suggested it, but we all came straight back to Nik’s house. Ripley took my car to bring Alix home after her mom called her for help with something, but everyone else is here. The living room is pretty full right now, full of people who don’t know what to do.
I think we all just have the sense that something is about to give. In one way or another.
“What did it mean? That conversation Gage and Logan had?” Noah does another lap around the coffee table, twisting his wedding band around his finger. “Besides that Logan is using Noey for something, just like I suspected.”
His hands are in fists again. He swings around without warning, breathing harder and harder, like he’s ready to explode. I draw back in alarm, and Aiden hastily snatches a vase and two glass cups up from the coffee table.
But Raj steps up behind Noah, gently laces his arms around his waist, and pops a kiss onto his tattooed cheek.
“Nohea, no,” he scolds gently. “None of that.”
“God fucking damnit, I’m gonna kill that guy!” Noah shouts wildly, then deflates with a heavy sigh when Raj hugs him closer, popping a loving follow-up kiss onto his cheek. “Stop taking all the threat out of my threats, please!”
“Okay.” Raj obligingly lets him go and heads for the stairs. “I should go check on Nik, anyways.”
“You didn’t ask me to stop,” Mel points out, folding her arms around Noah in Raj’s place.
Noah shakes his head in loving exasperation, then winces guiltily. “Why didn’t I tell Noey about the encyclopedia thing? I should have told her she was wrong, listening to Logan’s advice. I should’ve at least asked if she was sure.”
“Maybe it’s just one of those things where you don’t want to ask, because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings,” Mel says gently. “Like when you don’t want to ask your wonderful friend who made your backyard so beautiful if he’ll be upset if you ruin the aesthetic by putting up a clothesline out there.”
“Oh, honey, go for it,” I answer distractedly, waving a hand at Mel. “Line drying is better for the environment anyways.”
“You two sure make it seem easy,” Noah says indignantly, glancing between me and Mel. He turns to Ralph, suddenly hopeful. “Do you have any idea what’s going on?”
Ralph – who’s been silently watching from the couch with Aiden – shrugs slowly.
“I think Logan is broke, or right on the brink, and for whatever reason he thinks Noelle is the way out of his problems.”
“How can she be, though?” Noah asks agitatedly, and then, without waiting for an answer – “Okay, you know what? I don’t even care. I’ve had enough of sitting around.” He snatches up Mel’s car keys, turning towards the door. “I’m going to my mom’s house to see if-”
He stops as the back door of the house opens, and Gage strides in from the yard. His green and brown eyes look a little wild, and his hair is windblown from all his pacing.
“Noah,” he says, all in a rush, “Can I talk to you for a second-?”
Now it’s Gage’s turn to be cut off, this time by a knock at the front door. Everyone in the living room freezes.
Noah opens the door, then backs up to let Noelle into the house.
“Hey,” he says, relieved to see her, then alarmed at her expression. “You okay?”
Noelle nods, trying to smile. “Yeah, I – I actually have huge news!”
Logan follows her in. There’s a distinct smirk of victory on his face as Noelle holds up her hand to show us the diamond engagement ring on her finger.
To my left, I see Gage slowly, silently sink down to sit on the couch.
“Isn’t – isn’t it so exciting?” Noelle asks faintly.
The smile on her face right now is exceptionally unconvincing. She couldn’t look more confused or overwhelmed or – exhausted, honestly. We got up early, then laughed so hard at the paintball stupidity, and then she ran out into the lake, then got caught unawares by Logan’s arrival, then got the news about the encyclopedia, and now this. I wonder how long it’s been since she’s gotten to take one of those little naps she seems to need so badly.
I’d guess a while, because she’s more pale than I’ve ever seen her, and while she’s trying to smile, her eyes are brimming with bewildered anxiety.
“Logan caught me just – completely unprepared!” she says wildly, her voice wavering a little. “And he had – he had so many people from the Hollins family on video chat when he popped the question. So many. Watching. Even Uncle Martin, the one who really isn’t well. Isn’t – isn’t that so nice?”
I’m painfully aware that no one has said anything, but I’m honestly speechless. Noah is still just staring at the ring, and Gage is sitting motionless on the couch. If Noelle was less distracted she’d probably have noticed this unusual response to an engagement announcement, but as it is she’s too lost in her own thoughts to notice much. She looks completely scattered, dazed.
Logan glances down as his phone starts buzzing in his hand.
“Oh, that’s one of my guys at work calling me back,” he tells Noelle, who isn’t really listening. “I’ll go tell him the good news, and then we should get going.”
He slips outside, leaving Noelle with us.
“Noey, what-?” Noah finally begins, in a constricted, scraping voice. “What-?”
“What?” she asks, sinking down into an armchair with her eyes half open. “Please be more clear… I’m so tired… what time did we get up this morning? I really am sad about the stupid encyclopedia…”
Her head begins to tip forward, like she’s going to fall asleep talking, but she startles upright as her phone starts ringing.
“Oh, it’s mom! No wonder she’s calling, I texted her the big news. I’ll be right back.”
Noelle goes down the hallway and slips into the garage, leaving us in the silent living room.
I turn to look at Aiden, whose blue eyes are full of enough dismay to match mine. Then at Noah, who’s standing there rigidly, staring blankly at the armchair Noelle just left.
“Gage,” Noah says softly, after a long moment.
“I’ll try,” Gage murmurs, without lifting his head. “I’m just afraid she won’t believe me. She won’t want to believe me.”
Noah looks up sharply as Noelle comes flouncing back into the living room, now looking angry on top of everything else.
“Ugh, mom!” she says heatedly to Noah, her cheeks flushed bright pink. “One second she’s telling me he’s handsome and charming, now all of a sudden she’s worried we’re moving too fast? Why does she have to boss me around like that? Even during a moment like this?”
Gage rises slowly to his feet, twisting his fingers together. I’ve never seen him look so nervous.
“Hey, Bug,” he says quietly. “Can I talk to you outside? There’s something I need to tell you, before you decide to go ahead with this…”
I wince and press my fingers to my lips, my heart skipping anxiously. I can’t help feeling that this timing is very bad, for several different reasons, but the urgency of the situation doesn’t leave us with many options…
“What?” Noelle asks, pale and flushed and lost-looking. “What do you mean? I did decide. Aren’t you happy for me? This is what I want!”
Her voice is rising, but she’s too worn through to actually yell. She sways with exhaustion so visibly that both Noah and Gage take an instinctive step towards her. She takes a step back, her eyes blazing.
“This is what I want!” she repeats wildly, in a faint voice. “So just let me be happy!”
Gage freezes, staring at her with wide eyes.
The front door opens, and Logan leans inside.
“Hey,” he says, catching Noelle’s eye. “Do you want to go-?”
“Yes!” she says immediately, and rushes past him, out through the door.
Without sparing us a glance, Logan shuts it behind himself.
When I finally break my eyes away from the front door and turn around again, Gage is gone.
~~~~
“Any luck?” I ask, leaning over to speak into my phone while I drive.
“No.” Noah’s voice sounds incredibly stressed out and worried, even over the phone. “We shouldn’t have let him get this head start. I thought he was still in his room!”
He must have been for at least a few minutes, because all of his things were gone when we went up there to check on him.
“We’ll find him, Noosh,” Aiden rumbles, holding my phone out between us. “I have a good feeling about the bus station, and we’re almost th-”
“There he is!” I gasp, pointing through the windshield.
“You’ve got him?” Noah lets out a gasp of relief, too. “Don’t let him leave, okay? This can’t be how this shit goes down, I won’t let it!”
“I’ll try my best, Noah, but I can’t promise anything! I can’t imagine how he’s-”
“I know, Keane, I know! Just try, alright? I’m on my way!”
Aiden ends the call as I pull my car to a hasty stop outside of the bus station. I unbuckle myself, then stare at Aiden in confusion when he doesn’t do the same.
“I think it should be just you,” he murmurs softly. “You’re so easy to talk to.”
I stare at him in surprise, then brush an adoring kiss onto his lips before I slip out of the car and into the deepening autumn night.
The wind has picked up, blustering in cold sheets across the bus platform, sweeping amber leaves past me. Shivering, I pull the hood of my jacket up over my hair, then rush down the platform towards the lone figure at the end. Standing there with his backpack on his shoulder and his headphones around his neck. Just like when he first came into town.
“Gage!” I call out, shouting over the wind.
All the same, he doesn’t seem to hear me. I call out to him again as I get closer, then pull up short, staring at him.
I’m so used to seeing Gage so invincibly calm, upbeat, smiling with his eyes. When he raises his head at the sound of my voice, his face is almost unrecognizable with heartbreak.
Noah told me that Gage didn’t look to him like a man without hope, and before I would have agreed. Now, though…
“Hey, Jamie Keane,” he says hoarsely, in a valiant attempt at his usual cheerfulness. “What are you doing here? Hope you weren’t worrying about me? I left a note for Noah in my room.”
“I know, I saw it!” I catch Gage’s arm and pull him further back on the platform, where we can talk without the cold wind making my eyes water. I look up at him earnestly, my heart aching at the expression on his face. “Gage, listen to me – please don’t go. You know Noelle, you know she just got way too overwhelmed today-”
“Yeah, and I hope she’s not so worn down that she gets sick.” He says this with obvious worry, staring down at the platform. “I’d appreciate it if you could make sure she doesn’t. Even a little cold can be harder on her than you’d think.”
“Okay, but – what she said earlier, I don’t think that was-”
“It’s not the only time she’s said it, man,” Gage interrupts gently, trying to give me a smile, somehow looking sadder as a result. “Far from it. Eventually I’ve gotta listen. If this is – what she wants, then this is what she wants. But I won’t let her decide without knowing all the facts. I was going to send a text to Noah with the full explanation once I got on the bus, but since you’re here…”
He trails off, takes a deep breath.
“The Hollins family businesses are practically gone. Logan was put in charge of everything once my dad died, and he sold them all off one by one.”
“What – why?” I stammer, wide-eyed.
“To center all the funds and resources on his own investment company, the venture capital – whatever. Which is now going bankrupt, because of the investments Logan’s made.”
“You mean the workout supplements that gave everyone a rash weren’t a bestseller?” I ask, unable to help myself.
Gage lets out a ragged laugh, shaking his head. “No, as it turns out there wasn’t exactly a screaming demand for that. Logan’s in bad need of money if the business isn’t going to go under completely, and our great-uncle wants to see him settled down. He said he wouldn’t put Logan into his will, unless…”
“No,” I murmur softly, touching my fingertips to my lips. “No, oh my god. That’s why Logan wants to marry her?”
Gage nods in silent confirmation.
“I don’t have any proof, except that he asked her out again right when Uncle Martin’s health took a sharp turn for the worse, which is also when he told Logan about the will. Proof aside, though, Logan hasn’t made it a secret from me. He knew he didn’t have to. He’s got – something to hold over my head.”
I tilt my head to the side, full of anguish for him. “What’s the letter, Gage?”
He doesn’t even ask how I know about that. He just shakes his head, looking over mine instead of at my face.
“I wrote it for Noelle, forever ago. After that summer in France. Right after she and Noah went back to Ketterbridge. Logan had broken up with her, so she was free, and I thought maybe… I should take the chance, you know? Tell her how I felt about her. I – thought I had reason to believe…” He leaves the sentence unfinished, pushing a hand through his dark brown hair, his eyes smarting in the wind. “But I couldn’t get myself to send the letter, and unfortunately a few days after I wrote it Logan found it, and now that I’ve told you what he’s up to here, he’s going to give it to Noelle.”
Gage drags the back of his hand beneath his nose, turning away.
“I’ve gotta be long gone before that happens. Don’t want to be here while our friendship goes up in flames. But please do tell Noah everything I said, so he can tell Bug – Noelle. I hope she listens, even if it means Logan gives her the letter. But even if she doesn’t, I should still go. I can’t hang around to watch them get married. There are – there are some things I can’t bear.”
I hesitate, then reach out and gently brace his arm. Painfully aware of the bus pulling up to the platform.
“Gage,” I blurt out earnestly, imploringly, “Don’t give up now. Just come home for tonight. We can talk about it tomorrow, we can find some other way to handle this! And – I don’t want to speak out of turn, but if I were you I wouldn’t give up on Noelle, either. I’m not sure your feelings are as one-sided as you think. I don’t know if that letter would have the effect you think it would.”
Gage gives me a sad smile.
“Look, I wish it was true. Guess I did still hope just a little, after all. I know I don’t have much to offer her, aside from a lot of love to surround her with. But I figured we’ve got this, same as anyone…” He gestures out generally at the world around us, the sky, the distant trees. “And I’ve been told I give good back massages. And I’d go along for any idea that pops into her head. And I’d have a threesome with anyone she wanted.”
I let out a startled, watery laugh, despite the situation. Gage gives me a very brief smile, but his eyes show how shattered he is. His fingertips have gone to his necklace, whether or not he realizes it. He’s holding the chip of blue stone tightly.
“But I think it’s time to let it go,” he says, in a choked, rasping voice. “It’s sad, at this point. It’s – delusional.”
I feel like he’s repeating something someone else told him with that last part, and I don’t have to guess who. Either way, his voice fractured slightly when he said it. He clears his throat, turning away from me again. Hastily dragging his sleeve over his eyes.
“Anyways,” he says, bracing my shoulder with an attempt at his usual cheerfulness, “Think my bus is about to leave without me.”
“No, Gage, please,” I stammer, suddenly dangerously close to tears myself.
“Don’t get upset, Jamie Keane,” he says gently, giving my shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll be fine. Life is ups and downs, right? We – we roll on.”
Stammering over those last few hoarse, broken words, blinking fast against the tears flooding his eyes, he puts his head down and sets off swiftly for the bus. I watch him get on, half in disbelief.
Aiden is pacing in circles around my car. He freezes when I come back around the corner without Gage.
“What happened?” he asks, gathering me into his warm arms as soon as he sees the look in my eyes.
I lift my face to him, and stare up at him in a daze.
“I couldn’t stop him,” I answer softly. “He’s gone.”
~~~~
“This is terrible,” Ripley announces, leaning his shoulder against the sloped wall of the attic.
“Seriously.” Aiden shifts his snapback over his hair, which is glowing copper in the fading afternoon sunshine. “Feels like it’s been forever since Gage left. How long has it actually been?”
“Two days,” I answer sadly.
Noah – who was rooting around in a storage bin – sits back on his ankles to forcefully catch my eye. “Jamie. I told you. It’s not your fault.”
Still, the last two days have been awful. Gage’s absence has hit everyone really hard, and so has Noelle and Logan’s engagement. Ketterbridge is starting to glow with the cheer of Halloween approaching, which only makes the misery we’ve all been feeling all the more apparent by contrast.
The unhappiest of us all is Noelle, who seemed extremely dazed and upset when we saw her the day after Logan’s proposal. As if she herself couldn’t believe what had happened, now that she could think clearly again. She’s also the one who took the news about Gage the hardest.
“He just left?” she’d stammered, staring into Gage’s empty bedroom. “But he didn’t say goodbye…”
“He had to leave in a hurry,” Noah answered. “He said in his note to tell you not to worry, that he’s got to move along for work. Said he’d let you know when he has an address where you can send him letters.”
“Oh,” was all Noelle said in answer, very softly. “Okay…”
She’s seemed so anxious and wretchedly unhappy since then that I think she’s stopped coming around so we don’t notice. We’ve barely seen her at all over the past two days.
The only good thing is that Logan hasn’t realized yet that Gage told anyone the truth, so he hasn’t given Noelle the letter. Not to our knowledge, anyways, and I’m sure we’d be able to tell if Noelle had seen it.
But that really is the only good thing. Otherwise, the situation is becoming unbearable.
“I’m officially recalling our decree of let’s wait and see what happens,” I tell the group gathered in the attic, fidgeting with my malachite necklace. “It’s time. Now we need to do something.”
Aiden breathes out a heavy sigh. “Noosh… I don’t want to have to say this, but – you’ve got to talk to Noelle. I know you’ve got your reasons why you don’t want to do that, but you have to tell her what Gage said, you can’t put it off any longer-”
“I know,” Noah answers, without looking up from the storage bin he’s rummaging through. “You don’t have to tell me. I know.”
Aiden looks relieved, and so does Ralph, who looked like he was going to say something if Aiden hadn’t.
“No more sitting around,” Noah goes on forcefully, shutting the storage bin, shoving it aside, and seizing another. “I’ve had enough. Time for action.”
We all look at each other in surprise, straightening up.
Raj touches a hand to Noah’s shoulder. “Then tell us what we can do to help.”
Noah glances up, then does a double-take when he realizes that me, Aiden, Ralph, Ripley, and Raj have clustered up around him, eagerly awaiting our instructions. He sits back on his ankles with a little laugh, really noticing us for the first time since the initial feverish burst of adrenaline that sent us all following him up to the attic in confusion.
His grey eyes fill up with fondness as he looks around at us.
“Okay, uh – let me think.” He drags an inky hand across his forehead, nibbling his lip. “First of all, we need to get Gage back. If Noelle won’t believe me, she might listen to him.”
“How do we find him, though?” Ripley asks, twisting the stud in his ear. “He’s not taking calls, and he could’ve gone all the way back to Paris by now.”
“I don’t think he would,” I put in. “Everything there would remind him of Noelle.”
“He also doesn’t have much money to travel on,” Noah says, thinking it over. “He may not have gotten too far, but that doesn’t particularly narrow it down. What should we do, just – drive around looking for him? That’ll take forever, if it even works, and he could get further in the meantime.”
Ralph hesitates, then asks – “Do you want my opinio-?”
“Yes,” Noah cuts in emphatically.
“Have Aiden drive around and look for him. Our luck is much better that way.”
“I can do that,” Aiden agrees, right as Ripley offers – “I can go with him.”
Noah gives them both an appreciative nod. “Take Raj’s truck. Mel needs her car. Ripples, is Alix around?”
“Yeah, but she’s busy,” Ripley says, with an apologetic wince. “Still helping her mom look after her dad. He twisted his ankle pretty good.”
“Aw, no!” I answer, dismayed. “Can this week get any worse? And we stained Tim’s carpet with paint! Tim, who least deserves it!”
“He texted me back about that, by the way.” Raj takes his phone from his pocket so he can read out loud from it. “He said… Haha hey man no worries, there’s paintball evidence all over my house. All memories of good times, right?”
“That’s classic Tim, dude,” Ripley says instantly.
This draws a chorus of agreement from everyone present, as if any of us besides Raj has ever met him.
“I know.” Raj shakes his head in disbelief. “I thanked him for being so zen about it, and he reminded me that he’d been listening to soothing sounds for dogs for like five hours straight on that drive.”
“Alright, we’ve wandered far from the point,” Ralph gently breaks in. “So far away from the point that we’ve reached soothing sounds for dogs. When the point was, Alix isn’t available at the moment.”
Still on his knees going through a storage bin, Noah looks up at him, thinking fast. “When is Calla getting into town?”
Despite the situation, Ralph’s sage eyes light up with relief.
“Tonight. Finally. The next time she wants to go out of town for a work and bonding thing with her dad I’m gonna turn it into a serious argument. And now that I’ve heard myself say that out loud, I feel bad.”
“Well, good,” Noah murmurs distractedly. “Because Mel has to work an event tonight, and Noelle might need some, um – girl support. Her girls are back in France.”
“I’ll make sure Calla’s around,” Ralph promises. “She decided to just fly back, so I’m picking her up from the airport.”
Noah closes another storage bin in frustration. “Okay, and Raj, you can help by telling me that you definitely remember exactly where I put that little plastic box. The only thing I put in the attic from what Ralph brought me from his house. Or, tell me you’ll holler for Melanie, so she can find it.”
“MELANIE!” Raj shouts, leaning down through the open attic door.
He sits back in surprise when, less than two seconds later, Mel leans up into the attic, a look of fond exasperation on her face.
“Oh – sorry, beautiful!” Raj blushes sheepishly, helping her the rest of the way up. “I didn’t realize you were right there!”
“I was bringing you guys some snacks,” she groans, rubbing her ears. “This is the thanks I get?”
“Angel,” Noah calls, as she straightens up in the attic with her tray of peanut butter pretzel bars. “Do you remember that box I put up here? The small one? It had some papers inside-”
He breaks off, because Mel has already handed off the tray of peanut butter bars and started across the attic. She lightly takes down a little plastic box from one of the shelves, dusts it off, and hands it to Noah.
“You are perfect,” he tells her, kissing her hands before he takes the box. “Chaleur de ma vie. You and Raj both! And our baby, our cute baby!”
Melanie giggles, blushing, then lets out an astonished laugh when she turns around to find the tray already empty.
“We were hungry,” Ripley explains, polishing off the last peanut butter bar.
“Wow, it’s nice to see you guys have your appetite back,” she says, her eyes warm with laughter. She glances around at us curiously, a trace of hope coming into her voice. “Seems like everyone is feeling better, actually. Did something happen?”
“Something’s going to,” Noah says distractedly, placing the box on the floor.
He’s right, and that really is all it took. Everyone is so relieved to get off the sidelines, so eager to help that the prospect of moving into action instantly brought us all out of the misery we’ve been mired in. Even Tycho senses the change in energy. She begins prancing excitedly around Ralph, her tail wagging.
Noah opens the box and quickly looks through it. There’s an old sketchbook inside, and a few loose sheets of paper separated by thin sheets of tissue. At the top of the stack is a drawing of a restaurant with big, arched windows.
“Yes! This is it!” Noah snaps the box shut and gets to his feet, carefully folding it into his arms. “Okay, let’s go!”
Melanie watches us in surprise as we all rush for the attic door, most of us skipping the ladder in our excitement and dropping straight down into the upstairs hallway.
“Seriously?” I hear her laugh, as we all go rushing for the stairs.
Aiden and Ripley break out ahead, aware that their task is going to take the longest. If it’s doable at all, that is, but I have hope.
“Good luck, you guys!” I call encouragingly.
Aiden circles back to kiss me, then somehow still easily outstrips everyone else and makes it to the front door first. He lets himself and Ripley out, accepting the keys to the truck when Raj tosses them to him.
“Bring my boy back!” Noah shouts after them, as the rest of us burst outside and the two of them sprint for Raj’s truck. “Do whatever it takes, but get him the fuck back here! Tell him – tell him I’m asking him to get back to Ketterbridge as soon as possible, and if he gives a damn about me he’ll come! I will never forgive him if he doesn’t show, you tell him I said that!”
Aiden nods, wrenching open the door of the truck. Ripley hops up and in, and the two of them set off at a Noah-esque speed. The truck zooms off into the falling dusk.
Ralph strides over to his own car, opens the door to let Tycho hop in.
“Text you when I’m on my way back from the airport!” he shouts, to a thumbs-up from Noah.
Raj watches Noah shrug on his bomber jacket. “What should I do?”
“We need someone to look after Nik while Mel is at work,” Noah tells him, then adds gruffly – “And it would be good to know you’ll be here when I get back.”
Raj nods, gazing at Noah with adoring eyes. He kisses his shoulder, gives him an encouraging smile.
“You’ve got this, Nohea,” he murmurs softly.
Noah watches him go back into the house, then turns to look at the driveway. We’ve stopped about halfway down it.
I stopped because I’m waiting for my instructions. I don’t know why Noah stopped. Suddenly he seems reluctant to go any further.
“Mind giving me a ride, Jamie?” he asks, without moving.
“Of course, no problem! You can drive, if you want.”
“Cool.”
Silence falls. Noah doesn’t move, just stands there in the deepening dusk, holding the box with the drawings and the sketchbook in his arms.
This is how Noah looked when he froze in our kitchen, just before he went out into the garden to face Ralph and talk things out. His grey eyes are staring down at the pavement, not really seeing anything. He’s holding the box so tightly that I’m growing concerned for its structural integrity.
I gently pry it from his fingers and take it myself. He lets me do it, his thoughts elsewhere.
“Hey,” I say softly, making him lift his eyes to me. “It’ll be okay. This is for the best, you two talking. Even if she does get mad.”
“Okay,” Noah says, but I’m not sure he really believes me. “Yeah yeah yeah, no, I’m fine. I can do it. I just, um – just-”
“Noah,” a deep, warm voice calls softly, pronouncing his name in a very French way.
Noah freezes in shock, then whips around to face the end of the driveway. There’s a tall, lean man standing there, a backpack with recent travel tags slung over one shoulder. He’s wearing a bomber jacket of his own, and a very nice grey scarf around his neck.
I don’t know him, but for a split second I thought I did, because he looks so remarkably familiar. The tumbled inky hair, the dark, angular brows, the dove-grey eyes with the innate mischievous twinkle.
“Papa?” Noah blurts out, astonished.
He starts to rush forward, then stops anxiously, looking unsure of himself.
But his dad smiles at him with deep affection in his eyes, and opens his arms. Noah lets out a heavy breath, then rushes into them. They both start laughing happily as they hug each other.
Noah’s dad eases him back and takes a searching look at his face, his own face full of fondness.
He gently runs a hand over Noah’s hair, and all of a sudden Noah looks like he could cry with relief.
“What – what are you doing here…?” he rasps weakly, sounding completely overwhelmed, and then, stammering a little, repeats the question in French.
I can’t decisively translate the answer his dad gives him, but somehow, to my ears, it sounds like:
“Can we talk?”
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