Super Special Ep: First Night
This episode is part of a larger story, Soft Touch. If you haven’t yet, you can go back and read it from the beginning right here.
Aiden and Jamie go rolling across Aiden’s bed. Breathless, body to body, wrapped in each other’s arms.
Aiden lands on top of Jamie, who tightens his grasp on the two fistfuls of Aiden’s shirt he’s holding. Aiden sinks down between his knees, buries his fingers in the rich, coppery brilliance of Jamie’s hair, brings their parted mouths together.
Jamie looks up at Aiden through blazing, fire opal eyes before he closes them to kiss Aiden back.
Jesus fucking Christ, Aiden thinks helplessly.
He’s trying real hard not to let Jamie sense how he’s feeling right now. It would seem totally out of proportion to what’s going on, because Jamie doesn’t know what all this means to Aiden.
He doesn’t know that this is, no exaggeration, the best night that Aiden has ever had in his life.
Easily. Like, by lightyears.
It would have been even if Jamie hadn’t come over. The last twenty-four hours have Aiden’s head spinning with pure happiness. He can’t understand how it all happened like this, so many good things at once.
First of all, there was the talk they had earlier today, when Jamie told Aiden that he wanted to be with him, too. That he’s serious about this, just like Aiden is.
It seems like it’s hard for Jamie to be so direct about this kind of thing, but he flat out said it to Aiden’s face. He doesn’t want something casual. Not with you.
He wants more than that.
Hearing this from Jamie caused something cosmic to happen in Aiden’s heart, and before a single coherent thought could pass through his head, some part of him understood that this meant he could kiss Jamie now. And the instant he understood that, he did it.
It was a rush like nothing Aiden has ever experienced before. Jamie’s fingers trembling, his hands flattened against Aiden’s chest. Jamie falling back onto the bed and pulling Aiden down with him.
The moaning laughter that Jamie let out when Aiden licked his way up his throat.
Jamie’s laugh was already Aiden’s favorite sound in the world, tied in first place with his soul note. But nothing could have prepared Aiden for how Jamie’s laugh would sound when it was moaned.
It’s actually good that Kent called and interrupted when he did. Aiden was starting to get overwhelmed, overcome with joy and disbelief. Not a feeling he’s used to in the slightest. He desperately needed to catch his breath.
He collapsed into bed when he got home, exhausted from the sleepless nights that had followed the Fling Thing. When he woke up hours later, he was filled with anxiety from the moment his eyes blinked open. Afraid that he had dreamt everything, that none of it was real. It was all too good to be true.
He went scrambling for his phone, then stopped still when he saw that he had three voicemails from Jamie. All of them left while Aiden was out in the woods trying to process everything.
They’d already talked things out, but Aiden was curious, and he played them.
He pressed his fingers over his mouth at the sound of Jamie’s voice. It was warm and masculine and sweet, as always. But it also sounded agonized, dangerously fragile, about to break.
Jamie was asking Aiden to please, please call him. Promising to never kiss him again, if he didn’t want him to. Then fiercely insisting that they still had to be friends, that this couldn’t be it for them, that he wouldn’t let it be.
Aiden listened to each of the voicemails over and over again. Then one particular part of the third one, on repeat.
“I care too much about you,” Jamie said, his voice shaking but determined. “I’m not about to let you walk away.”
Aiden sat there in silence on his bed, the contents of his bedroom floating gently around him. He listened to the voicemail until those words, in Jamie’s voice, became a permanent fixture of his memory.
The talk that he and Jamie had, the minute or so of making out in Jamie’s bed, the three voicemails full of proof of just how much Jamie cares about him - each one of these things would have independently been enough to make Aiden beside himself with happiness. To have all of them happen to him in this short of a time span…
He didn’t even know what to do with himself. He just sat there with his elbows on his knees and stared at the wall for a good long time, every now and then dissolving into quiet, disbelieving laughter.
And then, when he finally pulled himself together enough to text Jamie, Jamie unexpectedly sent him an audio message. Aiden pressed play, set his phone on the counter, and reached up for a box of chamomile - only to freeze immediately as the message started playing.
“Hey, you,” Jamie purred, in an intimate, sex-kitten voice that Aiden had never heard from him before, “I’ve been thinking about what we should do, once you get control of your magic. I’ve got ideas, Aiden.” A soft, exhaling laugh. “Would love your opinion...”
Aiden listened to Jamie’s ideas in wide-eyed, motionless silence for a few seconds. Then he dropped the box of tea bags, spilling them everywhere, and nearly fell flat on his face reflexively trying to catch them. His body was suddenly clumsy, his cheeks burning, his heartbeat all the way up in his throat.
And then, Jamie showed up, wrapped his arms around Aiden’s neck, and let Aiden throw him into his bed.
Aiden didn’t know that heights of happiness like this were even possible. This little attic room has become the scenery of his dreams. This night is his dream, incarnate.
Jamie lets go of Aiden’s shirt and cups Aiden’s face in his hands, stroking his stubbled jaw. Aiden draws his mouth away from Jamie’s, puts his lips to Jamie’s palm instead. He’s been wanting to do that for so long.
Jamie’s hands, always reaching out to heal and to help. The rich green scent of earth and nature always clinging to his fingertips. Aiden loves them, has been waiting all this time to kiss them like he is right now.
Jamie watches him, his irresistible amber eyes set on fire.
He suddenly pushes Aiden over and straddles him, kisses him deeply into the bed. Then he burrows his face into Aiden’s neck and starts placing slow, sucking kisses all over it. Aiden feels a shock through his body with each one of them, and each shock is followed by a burst of pleasure that breaks over his head and steals his breath from his lungs. His toes are curling at the end of the bed.
He lays back and closes his eyes, speechless.
They haven’t done anything more than this, haven’t even tried to take each other’s clothes off. But Aiden has never been so completely and totally absorbed in another person the way he is with Jamie right now.
He couldn’t find his usual confidence, at first. Not with Jamie. He was feeling nervous, almost timid about this, and he could tell that Jamie was a little nervous, too. For different reasons, Aiden thinks.
Jamie, because Aiden was already his best friend before they decided to be more, which is new for him.
Aiden, because he’s so, so deeply in love with Jamie.
The love that Aiden felt for Jamie before he came back to Ketterbridge was so immense that he thought it was complete, whole, fully grown. But then Jamie did what he does best. He took it into his gentle hands and nurtured it, nourished it. Made it grow. Without even realizing what he was doing.
Over the summer, the love that Aiden has for Jamie has become so much bigger, so much richer and deeper, so much more powerful than Aiden ever realized it could be. Filling room in his heart he didn’t even know he had.
And it’s still growing, even now. It grows with each kiss that Jamie places on Aiden’s mouth, every second that they spend with their bodies intertwined.
Aiden often dreamt of what this would be like, how good it would feel. But this is so far past that. Being with Jamie, kissing him - it feels like returning to some secret, cherished place from childhood and discovering that it’s still just as breathtaking as he remembered. That it’s actually grown more beautiful in his absence. That it was far more special than he’d even realized in the first place, that his childish eyes were incapable of appreciating the full beauty of it.
That’s the kind of feeling, the kind of magic that this puts in Aiden’s chest - only multiplied by thousands.
So, yeah, he was pretty fucking nervous, at first. But his nerves and Jamie’s both fell away, faster than he thinks either of them expected.
They began by slowly and breathlessly touching each other, feeling each other out, finding their shared rhythm. Now, though - they’re lost in each other.
Fierce, fiery kisses, deep breaths, hard bites, tightly grasping hands. Complete abandon. The air between them is crackling and sparking with heat and electricity, passion that Aiden can feel all around himself like smoke.
Jamie’s head falls, his eyelashes brushing against Aiden’s lips, and Aiden kisses his eyelids, then his nose, then his mouth. Jamie presses him deeper into the bed, fingers gliding slowly up the inside of Aiden’s shirt.
His kisses taste different from any kisses Aiden’s ever had before. So good.
Their connection was instant and powerful. The all-consuming magnetism between them… it swallowed Aiden whole. He’s breathless, shivering with pleasure just from this.
And there was a piece of the equation that Aiden had never accounted for, when he imagined what this would be like. Jamie’s note.
In intimate moments before now, there was always some small part of Aiden’s mind that was distracted, because it had to hold down the noise, keep it at a tolerable volume. It split his concentration.
Drinking helped him with volume control, but being fucked up was its own layer of fog and distraction between himself and whoever he was with. And he would never use Jamie’s note to help keep the noise down, not in that situation.
But now he can. In fact, he can’t not. Jamie’s note, right now, it’s - unignorable.
Aiden knew that his own note would be singing with happiness if this ever finally happened, but he didn’t realize what Jamie’s would be like. How happy he would sound.
Together, their blissful, singing notes… Aiden is enraptured, held in awe, transported, possessed by their sweet song. His soul is completely swept up in it, helpless but happy.
It’s like music, but no music that Aiden’s ever heard has caught this same feeling, this kind of harmony. It struck him like lightning, wracking him with goosebumps and shivers, then melted him.
It soars so far above the other noise that it becomes effortless for Aiden to quiet everything else. He doesn’t even have to think about it, so - for the first time, he’s totally, fully present for this. He’s free to sink completely into the moment, to surrender himself up to it. Nothing to distract him, nothing nagging at the back of his mind.
There’s only this. There’s only him and Jamie, and what they’re doing together.
The clarity makes every sensation so much more vivid and intense. Every surge of pleasure is so much more powerful, so much more deeply felt. Which it already would be, anyways, because - he’s doing this with Jamie.
Aiden is coming apart from kisses alone. Lost in unbelievable pleasure, dissolving in it, shivering with it, red-cheeked, intoxicated.
He slides his hands up the back of Jamie’s shirt, very slowly trails his fingers over his velvet soft skin, the graceful arch of his slender back.
Then he pauses, having found something. Two dimples, at the base of Jamie’s spine.
Aiden fits his fingertips into them, then leaves them there, transfixed. This is such a tiny nuance of Jamie’s body, something he’d never known about. He’s seen Jamie without a shirt, but he didn’t notice them before. They’re so subtle that they have to be felt, not seen.
The dimples are a detail about Jamie that Aiden’s imagination had never guessed at. They’re proof that this is real, not a dream. Proof that Aiden is holding the real Jamie. That it’s really Jamie slowly tipping forward to put his mouth to Aiden’s again, his amber eyes hazy, burning with open, undisguised desire. Really Jamie biting Aiden’s lip, first very softly, then harder, sharper.
Aiden had been holding his breath, but he lets out a stuttering exhale as yet another wave of pure, undiluted pleasure floods through him. Mind-numbing, muscle-melting, breath-stealing. He can’t help but rock up against Jamie, rubbing their bodies together, sparks and friction.
He sees the blush in Jamie’s cheeks deepen, hears his breath catch in his throat.
Aiden blinks up at him in a daze. Overwhelmed, smitten.
He can’t fucking believe this is happening. Radiant golden warmth is building in his chest, and he’s riding on higher and higher waves of ecstasy, his soul glowing, because this is all happening with Jamie, he’s really with Jamie, with Jamie -
“Oh, fuck,” he gasps, dropping his head back onto the pillow. “Hey, hold up-”
Too late. There’s a distant shattering sound from the kitchen, broken glass raining to the ground.
Jamie sits back, startled, and presses his fingers over his lips.
“Shit,” he says, panting. “Oh, Aiden - the rate we’re going, your whole kitchen is gonna be, like-”
“Don’t care,” Aiden says firmly. “Don’t give a flying fuck, honestly.”
Jamie blinks, looking down at him, then laughs behind his hands.
Pure joy sings through every cell of Aiden’s body at the sound. He bites his lip as Jamie rolls off of him, trying his best not to look at him with obvious puppy-dog eyes.
They both lay back on the comforter, out of breath. Aiden stares openly at Jamie, whose clothes are rumpled, his hair fucked up, his cheeks crimson.
Jamie adjusts his jeans, then rolls onto his stomach, keeping his face turned towards Aiden. Aiden turns onto his side to look at him, then lets out a noise of frustration so loud and sudden that it startles another laugh out of Jamie.
“Me, too,” Jamie says breathlessly, burying his face in the pillow. “I’ll calm down, though - just gimme a second…”
Aiden slips his hand beneath Jamie’s shirt, lets his fingertips find the dimples again. He has to keep going back to check for them, to remind himself this isn’t some perfect dream he’s let himself get carried away in.
Jamie shivers a little. Aiden wonders if he can feel how much love is imbued in every touch that Aiden places on his smooth, freckled skin. He wonders if his touch feels different to Jamie, even if the reasons aren’t yet clear to him.
Jamie closes his eyes, smiling, and lets out a soft, barely perceptible sigh as Aiden’s fingertips gently stroke the base of his spine.
“I’m sorry,” Aiden murmurs. “That we keep having to stop. I don’t know - I don’t know what’s happening to me, with you. All the…”
He nods at the kitchen, then blinks in surprise as Jamie’s note does a happy, staggering little jump at his words.
“Yeah, it’s torture,” Jamie answers, then arches a red eyebrow, gives Aiden a smile like - sweet, sweet torture.
Aiden laughs, then nibbles his lip. He realizes that he and Jamie are looking at each other like they both want to be closer - like both of them have forgotten that they can. They’re each holding themselves back, like they’ve learned to do over the summer.
But they don’t have to do that, not anymore.
Aiden shifts closer, and Jamie holds still, watching him. Looking deeply into his eyes.
Aiden knows that his eyes are two blue flames of love right now, but he’s finding it impossible to hide it. He can only hope that Jamie - even with his extreme sensitivity for other people’s emotions - doesn’t know what it is.
Maybe he doesn’t, but he seems fascinated by it. And Aiden can’t break his eyes away, because he can’t stop looking back into Jamie’s.
They’re glowing from within, lit by some hidden, internal fire. It turns them honey-colored, just the way they were that day on the beach, in the sunset. Only now that rich, warm glow comes solely from within. From without, Jamie’s eyes are catching white moonlight from the open window. It looks like he caught a handful of fallen stars in his gaze.
His eyes are liquid, luminous, shining. Staring right into Aiden’s.
The sight of them instantly ignites something wild in Aiden’s blood. His breath comes up short. He doesn’t know what he’s doing until Jamie is opening his mouth beneath Aiden’s. Rolling onto his back, pulling Aiden on top of him.
Something molten flows through Aiden’s veins as he grasps the back of Jamie’s neck, as he puts his lips to Jamie’s skin. To his throat, where he feels the throb of his pulse. To his temple, so that Aiden’s nose is briefly buried in Jamie’s brilliant hair. To his earlobe, which Aiden gives a sharp nip.
Aiden pours himself completely into every adoring kiss and touch. All of his passion flows into Jamie, all of it. With his mouth, his hands, his body, he tries to tell Jamie what he can’t say out loud.
I’m yours, I’m yours, I’ve always been yours...
Jamie’s eyes flutter closed, his breaths growing heavier. He’s biting his lip, his chest rising and falling fast.
Aiden pushes up Jamie’s shirt and puts his mouth to the warm, firm stretch of skin just above Jamie’s jeans. He paints it with slow, open-mouthed kisses, his tongue on the heat of Jamie’s body. Drags his nose through the line of ginger body hair that leads down to Jamie’s belt buckle.
Jamie shudders, goosebumps flung up the whole length of his body. He sits up on his elbows to look down at Aiden, his honeyed eyes blazing with naked desire, and Aiden is ready to lose his fucking mind with how badly he wants him...
“Aiden,” Jamie pants, as everything in the room begins to tremble again, threatening an impending explosion.
Aiden stops, out of breath, and throws his head back in agony.
“Come on,” he groans helplessly, and collapses down onto Jamie.
The movement forces a sharp breath out of Jamie, whose arms lift to lock around Aiden. Aiden buries his face in Jamie’s chest, blows out a frustrated breath.
“God fucking damnit,” he grumbles, and Jamie laughs softly, stroking his fingers through Aiden’s hair.
“Hey, it’s okay,” he says, his voice overflowing with warmth. “No rush, Callahan. My list of ideas isn’t going anywhere.”
He laughs again as, through their pressed-together bodies, he feels a surge of desire from Aiden at the mere mention of the audio message.
“Glad to know it had the intended effect,” he snickers.
“Shut up,” Aiden groans, his cheeks burning, his words muffled against Jamie’s shirt.
Jamie laughs, but then falls silent for a moment. He gives Aiden’s hair a gentle tug, and Aiden lifts his head to look at him.
“Really, though,” Jamie says softly, gazing right into Aiden’s eyes. “It’s fine, if we have to take our time. You’re, just - so worth the wait. However long it is.”
He tips forward, brushes a slow, intimate kiss onto Aiden’s mouth.
It takes some time for Aiden to touch back down from this, so there’s another silence before he answers.
“Appreciate you saying that,” he admits, snuggling back up against Jamie, trying to keep his voice steady. “S’just fucking annoying, though. I don’t want to stop, I want-”
Aiden cuts himself off in the middle of his thought, having come to a sudden realization.
They fell into it so naturally, Aiden didn’t even notice it at first, but - he’s cuddled up in Jamie’s arms. His cheek is resting on Jamie’s chest. Jamie’s fingertips are moving slowly and lightly through his hair, each touch full of gentle tenderness.
Their breaths and bodies and warmth are all mingled together. Even their heartbeats.
Aiden can’t even count how many times he’s desperately wished to be here, like this, with Jamie.
When he was lost in the darkest places within himself. When he was heart-sore and sad, confused and fucked up. When he was lonely down to the very depths of his soul. When he was overrun by storms of noise and rage, torn apart by gut-wrenching guilt and self-loathing, when the whole world seemed so cold and hard to him, when he felt like a broken, hollow shell of himself…
All he wanted was to lay down in Jamie’s arms. To put his head on Jamie’s chest. To hear Jamie say: It’s okay. You’ll be okay. Tell me where it hurts, and I’ll make it better.
Now, here Aiden is, held in Jamie’s arms. This is exactly what he’d been silently screaming for, all that time. And it feels even better than he hoped it would feel, how he dreamed it would feel. It feels like love, safety, refuge - home.
Aiden knows that he’s gone silent, and that Jamie is waiting patiently for him to say something. But he’s at a loss for words, powerless to do anything about it. He just burrows his face deeper into Jamie’s chest. His stubble tickles Jamie, making him laugh, and suddenly Aiden could almost cry.
He props himself up on an elbow, his hand feeling for the dimples again. He can’t help himself. He needs to check again that this is all real.
Jamie blinks as Aiden’s fingers slide beneath him.
“What are you doing, man?” he murmurs, even as he lifts himself slightly to make room.
Aiden can’t explain himself, so he brushes over the dimples like that touch was incidental, meaningless - then slides his hand lower.
Jamie gasps as Aiden suddenly gives his ass a hard, rough squeeze.
“Aiden!” he laughs, deep crimson color instantly flaring across his face.
Aiden presses his nose against Jamie’s cheek, feeling the fiery heat of his blushing skin.
“What?” he purrs, as Jamie lets out a sharp breath against his mouth. “Been wanting to do that all summer. Just realized I can.”
It’s true, it makes Jamie laugh again, and it disguises the real intention of Aiden’s searching fingers. Aiden has gotten very good at deflections like this, hiding the depths of his feelings from Jamie.
Maybe one day he’ll be able to let Jamie see it, though. Bring it all out into the open. He wants to so badly.
He feels like he’s let Jamie see one little leaf, when there’s a vast, endless forest of love growing in his heart. One day he wants to take Jamie into it, let him see the full span, let him see that it has no end, that it’s something infinite. A whole world they could explore together forever, if Jamie wanted to.
Aiden hasn’t really dared to let himself hope for that. It always seemed beyond his reach, one step past impossible.
But the impossible has already happened, for Aiden. A secret, lifelong dream has already come true for him.
He’s cozied up with Jamie Keane, held close in his warm, gentle arms.
He’s home.
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