Sunshowers - Part Twenty
This episode is part of a larger story, Soft Touch. If you haven’t yet, you can go back and read it from the beginning right here.
“Oh, what the… what in the fucking… oh, Jesus Christ… holy shit…”
Kasey and Noah don’t take any notice of my stammered cursing. Their wide eyes are still glued to the hotel.
Mine are, too. From the evidence I can see it all, everything that happened last night, unfolding like a roadmap of one insane disaster after another.
The storm, shaking and rattling the already very shaken and rattled hotel. The resulting collapse of a huge portion of the roof, around the area that had already caved in and hadn’t yet been repaired.
The generator explosion and fire. The storm must have taken care of that, given the fire is already out and there are no signs of fire trucks having paid the hotel a visit. No one must have been here if the fire went completely unreported, so - Hanely and Grimm must have crashed their squad car directly into the hotel sometime before that.
The walls of the old hotel really must have been thin, like Eduardo said. The cop car punched through them like they were a cheap set piece, then kept right on going. The sign for the check-in desk is dangling from one of the tail lights. Destroyed antique wood lays scattered over the roof of the empty car, which almost perfectly bisected the cafe from the hotel.
The cafe is the only part of the hotel left intact. The rest of it is mostly a charred, smoking ruin. The top part where the roof fell away is just open, like a dollhouse. I can see half of one empty hotel room from across the street. A few curious birds are poking around in there.
“Wow,” Kasey sighs ecstatically. “Just wow.”
She floats higher up into the air for a better look at the wreckage. Noah turns to me, his grey eyes huge and heartbroken. Despite all the tattoos and piercings, suddenly he looks like a toddler who’s just been told they have to give their pet bunny away.
“I didn’t get to break anything,” he wails.
“Wh-? Noah!” I sprint after him across the empty street as he races for the hotel. “Everything is broken, man! Who cares if you weren’t directly responsible?”
“Me! I care!” He seizes a broken chair, tosses it out of the way, and starts searching urgently through the smoking ruins. “There’s got to be something left! Let me break one thing, and then we can all revel in what a righteous and glorious site of ruin this is!”
“You’re a fucking madman!” I laugh helplessly, then hastily catch his arm as he tries to start climbing onto the wreckage. “No, Noah, come on, it’s dangerous! I’ve never seen anything less structurally sound than this place right now, and we work in the Ghost Office, so-”
“Oh,” Noah breathes, stopping where he is. “No worries, Keane. I’ve already found the perfect thing.”
“What’s-?”
I break off as Noah swings around to reveal what he’s got: the massive hunting horn that used to hang above the staircase in the lobby. It’s been smashed free of the display board it was mounted to, but the rest of it is intact. Now that it’s at eye level it looks absurdly enormous in Noah’s hands.
“Hey, Aiden! Ralph!” Noah shouts, as they emerge from the forest on the other side of the road. “Check this out!”
Aiden and Ralph just froze to the spot, staring in blank shock at the destroyed hotel, but Noah immediately regains their attention by leaping up to stand on the roof of the ruined squad car. He plants one hiking boot up on the light bar, taking a stance like he just conquered a mountain.
“Victory, boys!” he shouts, grinning from ear to ear. “And Kasey!”
Then he takes an enormous breath, and blows the horn.
I think we were all expecting a powerful, triumphant blast. The flat, awkward blast of atonal noise that comes out instead instantly destroys everyone’s ragged composure. Ralph seizes Aiden’s arm and bends over double, and Aiden spreads his hands in bewilderment, shaking with silent laughter. I press my hands over my eyes, barely holding it together, especially with Kasey’s giggles raining down from somewhere above me.
“What the fuck,” Aiden laughs weakly, pressing his fingertips to his temples. “Noosh! That - that was-”
“Aw, man, I thought it was gonna be so much better than that!” Noah groans, then shrugs his shoulders like he’s decided it doesn’t matter. “Oh, well. Here’s to our one thing, team! Just like every other thing about this hotel, it wasn’t right!”
He smashes the antique horn over his knee. It shatters apart into pieces, which spill from his hands and scatter over the destroyed squad car.
“Holy shit,” Kasey giggles, dropping down to float at Noah’s side as Ralph and Aiden sprint across the street to join us. “You see that smile, Jamie?”
“I do,” I laugh through my fingers. “I think Noah’s officially gotten everything he wanted out of this weekend.”
“It was a great weekend, dude!” Noah says, brightly and wholeheartedly. “We should go camping more often.”
“What in the goddamn - Noosh, get down from there!” Ralph catches a handful of Noah’s shirt and yanks him down from the cop car. “Jesus, we gotta get out of here! We can’t be the first ones here, not with the place looking like this! Soon enough Hanely and Grimm are gonna come back to explain the squad car to Wendy, and she’ll be back to - probably murder them or something, I don’t know-”
“He’s right, we should really get out of here before we get blamed for this somehow,” Kasey jumps in, with me repeating for her. “No offense, but you guys are a mess. You look guilty of something or other, all covered in mud, and grass, and blood, and-”
“She’s right,” Aiden cuts in firmly. “Let’s go. We’ve got to get to the ranger’s outpost and meet up with Violet, anyways.”
“So no pastries?” I ask, unable to suppress the whiney misery in my voice.
Ralph widens his eyes at me, gesturing behind us. “The whole fucking hotel fell down, Jamie! Forget the pastries!”
“But the cafe’s still standing! And the pastries-”
“I know, Linden, it’s tragic to go on without them,” Aiden says somberly, a twinkle of laughter revealing itself in his blue eyes. He catches my hand, drags me into movement. “But if skipping the pastries means skipping false accusations of hotel destruction, we should probably skip the pastries.”
“Mmm, I don’t know-”
“Tucker is probably gonna offer us food when we get to the outpost anyways, right? He’s done that every other time we’ve gone there.”
That’s more convincing than any other argument would be - especially considering the kind of yummy food Tucker is capable of putting together - so I fall into step beside Aiden, trying not to pout too much.
He scoops up the saucepan and carries it, presumably so it doesn’t have to hop all the way to the outpost. It settles comfortably down into his arms, and the two of them make an oddly cute sight. I’m finding it hard to keep frowning, all of a sudden.
“Besides,” Aiden rumbles, reaching over to gently cuff my chin, “Aren’t you excited? We finally get to tell Nolan his nightmare is over.”
I break into a small, startled smile, then a beaming one as that thought sinks in.
My Companion Plant always knows just what to say.
~~~~
We haven’t quite reached the grove encircling the forest ranger’s outpost before the team naturally comes to a stop. We all just spotted Violet, who’s at the edge of the grove. Standing hidden behind the wall of graceful Incense cedars. Sneakily watching the outpost from afar.
She has her back to us, and she isn’t moving, but - something about the way she’s holding herself silently communicates that whatever she’s seeing has drawn up deeply felt emotions. That’s probably why Ralph clears his throat, then murmurs -
“You want to take this one, Jamie?”
The others hang back as I tentatively approach Violet. She hears me coming, but she doesn’t break her gaze away from what she’s looking at. I stop beside her, and follow her gaze to the outpost.
Is this where Nolan lives now? her leafy voice whispers.
“Yes.”
Violet smiles, briefly closing her eyes, then opens them and looks again.
In the morning light, the cozy little building is aglow with color from all of its surrounding wildflowers, and from the ones spilling out over the sides of the window boxes. The clusters of tiny, delicate blossoms nod their heads in the breeze, reflecting in the glass of the windows.
Through one of those windows, we can see Nolan and Tucker sitting at the breakfast table together. A jar of wildflowers sits at the center of the table between them, along with two gently steaming mugs of coffee.
Both Nolan and Tucker are wearing their ranger’s uniforms this morning, but their hats are set aside, and it doesn’t look like they plan on going anywhere. From what I can tell they’re eating breakfast, and assembling junior ranger scavenger hunt packets.
Nolan looks as exhausted as ever, but he’s listening to Tucker with a warm, sleepy smile on his face. His fingers are fidgeting with his coffee mug. He laughs a little as he answers whatever Tucker said, nervously pushing a hand through his dark brown hair, then beams happily when Tucker laughs, too.
Violet is watching him, holding her staff tightly.
He used to have such terrible nightmares, she whispers, her eyes lingering on Nolan’s face. He would dream that the hotel came to life as a monster and ate him up. He’d wake up bawling inconsolably, poor lamb. I took the nightmares away, but even back then… I think the bigger problem, really, was that he was lonely.
Tucker stands up to get something from the kitchen, giving Nolan’s shoulder an affectionate touch as he goes past. Nolan blushes and bites the inside of his cheek, watching him with shy eyes.
Violet turns her six smiling eyes down on me. He doesn’t look so lonely anymore.
I return her smile, my heart full of warmth. “Do you want to talk to him?”
She blinks a few times, then looks down at me again, surprised by the offer.
Ah, well… I’m not supposed to make myself known to humans… If he believes now that I was an imaginary friend, best leave it that way. A regretful look flashes through her six eyes, but she shakes her head, taking a step back. It’s alright. I got to see him. I am happy for that.
“No, I think he does believe you were real, Violet,” I answer earnestly. “He just didn’t want to admit that to me when we talked. But he wrote about you in his journal, so even when you took yourself out of his memory, he still kind of remembered.”
Violet stares at me, then gazes at Nolan through the window. She doesn’t say anything, but I think I understand.
“I’ll go get him for you, just wait here! You guys-” I turn around and give the others a beckoning nod of my head. “Let’s go say hi to the rangers.”
The team collectively files down to the outpost. Ralph, who led the way, knocks on the door. Tucker opens it a moment later.
“Hey, good mor-” he begins, then breaks off, considerably taken aback. “My god, what happened to you guys? Are you okay?”
Nolan quickly rushes over to join Tucker. His melon-green eyes go perfectly round when he sees us, which is fair. We must look like we’ve been through it, especially Ralph with his bloody cheek.
“Creature’s been taken care of,” Ralph says simply, flashing a tired, satisfied grin at the two rangers. “Any chance we could get some coffee?”
“Wait, what?” Nolan pushes his way forward, blinking fast at Ralph. “It’s been taken care of? You mean-?”
“I mean it won’t be bothering you again,” Ralph says, with firm certainty in his voice.
For a moment Nolan only stares at him. Then he closes his eyes and draws back, taking in a huge, unsteady breath. He puts a hand to his heart and sinks in relief against Tucker, who looks down at him, caught by surprise, the heat of a little blush glowing in his cheeks.
Nolan gets a hold of himself and quickly straightens up.
“Thank you.” He breathes the words out on a huge exhale. His voice is rough and raw with gratitude and relief, like we just took a thousand-pound weight off of his shoulders. “Holy gosh, thank you…”
We all exchange a victorious smile with each other.
“Okay, I don’t know what any of this means, but I’m glad that Nolan is happy,” Tucker laughs helplessly, then takes a step back, beckoning for all of us. “Come on in! Our fridge is out on account of the power, but I can figure out something for you from the pantry! Do you need a bandaid, Ralph? Why do you have a saucepan, Aiden?”
Everyone gratefully troops inside except for me. I wait at the back, catch Nolan’s arm, and draw him outside. “Hey. Can I borrow you for a sec?”
Nolan falls into step at my side, and I lead the way into the deep green shade of the trees that make up the grove.
“Where are we-?”
“Not far,” I answer quickly, flashing him a reassuring smile. “There’s someone who wants to see you.”
He’s nervous, I can tell. Maybe he can’t think of anyone he’d want to see who isn’t currently in the ranger’s outpost, but he follows after me anyways.
Violet is waiting in the green shade of the Incense cedars, leaning on her staff. Nolan jolts to a sharp stop as she turns around, and the shadow of her mossy antlers falls across him.
I turn my head to talk to him, then smile at the astonished expression on his face. His lips are slightly parted, his eyes as wide as they go.
Violet’s six eyes light up when they fall on him.
Nolan, comes her whispering voice. She reaches out a green, mushroom-sprouting hand for him. Come here, let me look at you.
For a moment he’s too taken aback to move. Then he slowly comes forward, stops in front of her. She smiles down at him, and over his face goes a timid reflection of her smile, until he’s unconsciously smiling, too.
“Violet?” he asks softly. “It’s really you?”
Yes. Her eyes fill with warm fondness. It’s so good to see you, my little human.
Nolan stares up at her in amazement, then flings his arms around her. She’s so tall that she can’t quite hug him back, but she bends over him and folds an arm around him, supporting herself on her branch staff.
“You - you’ve been gone for ages!” Nolan stammers, drawing back to stare up at her.
I know. It’s been a long time since I came to see you. I couldn’t, I - wasn’t myself. She tilts her head to the side apologetically as she straightens up. I’m sorry for frightening you.
Nolan’s wide eyes get even wider. “What… that was you?”
Yes, but I’m all better now, thanks to the intervention of your friends. She leans down to scrutinize him closely, in a way that reminds me of my own grandma. And you? How have you been, little human? How are you, now that you’re all grown up?
“I’m - okay,” Nolan says, then looks surprised to realize he means it. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
Violet smiles, then says, in a slightly abashed voice - I understand from the memories of your human friends that I got you fired. I’m sorry for that, too.
Nolan lets out a sputter of hoarse laughter. “No, don’t be sorry! It was a blessing. I seriously never should have - don’t be sorry, trust me. Everything is so much better now.”
Looking immensely relieved, Violet leans down to examine his uniform. What is it you do now?
“I’m a forest ranger, we, um - look after the forest, stuff like that.”
Violet smiles approvingly. Ah, yes? Lovely.
She reaches down for his hand, and he automatically takes it.
Come with me, my little human. Let’s go for a little walk through the forest. We have much to talk about.
I watch them go, smiling to myself. Feeling like Nolan will finally get some real, good rest tonight.
~~~~
Nolan and Violet are gone for a little while, which gives us time to eat so much of Tucker’s food that I feel the need to offer to bring some back later.
“I just don’t want to leave you stranded out here with an empty pantry and no supplies.”
“Thanks for offering, Jamie, but there’s no need,” Tucker reassures me. “We got the mud tires on the car yesterday before the worst of the storm. Matter of fact, Nolan can probably give you guys a ride back to the hotel when you’re ready to head out, even with the roads the way they are.”
“Oh, really?” I ask gratefully. “Thanks, Tucker, that would be great! I know we ate all your food, but it, um - wasn’t actually that much?”
“No, I know,” Tucker laughs. “I was planning to head into town and restock this afternoon. Might swing by the cafe, too, see if humitas are on the menu today. They’re good. I can’t stand that hotel, but the cafe is a gem.”
“I’m - not sure it’ll be open today,” Ralph says.
Tucker shoots him an inquisitive glance, but before he can ask anything Nolan pushes open the door. His hair is wind-ruffled, his eyes slightly dazed. He stands there without meeting anyone’s gaze, lost in his thoughts.
Aiden and Ralph exchange a swift glance, then get up and go over to him. Ralph asks him something, too quietly for the rest of us to hear.
“Just outside of the grove,” Nolan murmurs.
Aiden and Ralph hurry around him and head outside. I gaze after them curiously, my eyes narrowed with suspicion. I feel like they’ve been cooking up a plan together, but I’m not sure what it is.
Nolan stands by the door for a long moment, like he’s forgotten where he is. Tucker shoots him a worried, searching look, talking to him with his eyes. Nolan waves a hand at him, like - I’m okay.
He turns around to sit down on the steps of the ranger’s outpost. He wraps his arms around his knees, gazing out at the ripening summer morning as it spreads over the forest.
I give him a second, then come over and sit down beside him.
“This has been a wild week,” he stammers softly, startling a laugh out of me.
“Yeah, I know. I’m sure it’s been a lot for you to handle at once, Nolan, but… I think you’re better off for it. For all of it.”
Without a second of hesitation, he nods his head in agreement. “Yes. Yes. Gosh, for the first time ever it feels like… I don’t know. Like I can breathe, and… there’s stuff about tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after, that I actually…”
He trails off, shooting me a sidelong, watery smile.
“Some of that is thanks to you guys. I’m really glad I listened to the drug dealer who told me about you.”
“Oh, well said,” I laugh, giving his shoulder an indignant shove. “Did you frame it that way because that’s how Wendy would hate to hear it the most?”
He laughs helplessly, shrugging his slender shoulders.
“I don’t know. I’m not thinking. I’m just glad.” He steals a glance over his shoulder at Tucker, who’s talking to Noah. “I’ve been so worried…”
There it is. The unmistakable expression in Nolan’s eyes as they linger on Tucker, giving everything away. In this particular moment, he just can’t hide it.
I hesitate, then give Nolan a gentle nudge.
“Hey.” I drop my voice to a confiding whisper, giving Nolan an encouraging smile. “Are you gonna tell him how you feel?”
Nolan’s eyes snap to my face, blinking hard and fast.
He swallows dryly, then pushes a trembling hand through his wavy hair. Taking a second to decide what he wants to say, if anything.
I’m glad now that he caught little glimpses of me and Aiden together, because after a moment he very, very quietly answers, All in a rush, in a voice wrought with anxiety.
“I want to. I’ve thought about it. Like, maybe at night, when we’re relaxing together, and after he’s smoked a little, so that his heart won’t get too worked up… I could give him my journal to read. So he could figure out how I feel about him, kind of, um - more gradually? I thought it might be easier on his heart that way, even if it’s way more embarrassing for me.”
I bite back a smile, staring at Nolan in surprise as he anxiously wrings his fingers together. “So why haven’t you done it?”
“I just don’t… I don’t know how he feels, or if he’d even, you know. I don’t know…”
Nolan trails off, nibbling his thumbnail.
“Nolan,” I begin tentatively, “I mean - not to get into your business, but he’s so affectionate with you, in a way that really makes me think-”
“But what if he’s straight, though?” Nolan blurts out, in a rushed whisper. “He hasn’t said anything to make me think otherwise. Wouldn’t he have said something by now? I - I guess I haven’t said anything to him about me, but, you know…”
I look over my shoulder into the outpost, narrowing my eyes at Tucker’s desk. Looking at something that caught my attention earlier.
“Nolan, has that little flag in Tucker’s pencil jar always been there? This whole time?”
Nolan glances at it, then shrugs his shoulders in confusion as he turns back to me. “Yeah?”
“Do you know what it means?”
“No. Isn’t it some kind of park ranger thing? It’s got a bear pawprint in the corner.”
It does, but the pawprint is placed over a series of stripes, dark brown at the top, then rusty orange, golden yellow, tan, white, gray, and black. That’s what makes it a bear pride flag, but given Nolan’s upbringing I guess it’s no surprise he hasn’t realized that.
I think Tucker is operating under the assumption that Nolan does know what it means, and that’s why he hasn’t brought up the topic with him. He must think Nolan already knows.
“Mmmm… I think you’re good, dude,” I tell Nolan, unable to find a better way to put it.
Nolan stares at me uncertainly, then nibbles his lip, momentarily lost in his thoughts.
“He’s a little bit older than you, isn’t he?” I ask, after a moment. “I mean, he’s all settled down. Seems like he’s pretty happy staying here indefinitely, as a forest ranger. The slow life.”
Nolan fidgets with his uniform. “I know. I like it. I’m happy to stay here if he wants to stay here.”
I nod slowly, then point out what I feel like I have to. “Your mom would hate everything about this, if she ever found out.”
Nolan shrugs his shoulders, breathing out a helpless laugh. “I don’t care. As long as she doesn’t bother him, I don’t - I don’t f-f–fucking care.”
I arch my eyebrows all the way up, then break into a wide, surprised grin.
“It sounds like you know what you want, man,” I whisper encouragingly. “And like you’ve thought it all through. You even have a plan ready to go!”
Nolan stares at me anxiously, twisting a strand of hair through his fingers. “So what, you think - you think I should…?”
“Look, I don’t know your relationship with him the way you do, but…”
I trail off, speaking with my expression instead. Nolan looks intently at me, his eyebrows furrowed.
“Maybe,” he murmurs, half to himself. “Maybe now that the ghost thing is over, and I can actually sleep first…”
He stops, then lets out a slow, heavy breath, his shoulders sinking in relief as it hits him again.
“It’s all over…” he repeats, then pauses, blushing nervously. “Maybe it would be a good time. My luck has been unbelievable this week, and I never had a day of good luck in my life before now.”
I let out a soft, sympathetic laugh. Nolan flashes me a tentative smile, then seems to reconsider.
“No,” he murmurs. “I take it back. I have had a day of good luck before now. The day I met Tucker.”
He pauses, then adds brightly, “Oh, and the night I met Violet. Two days of good luck.”
Fighting back my smile, I open my mouth to answer, then look up as a shadow falls over us.
“Jamie,” Noah says from behind us, making Nolan twist around in surprise. “Hate to interrupt the chat, but we should probably get rolling. I’m sure we all want to get home to our husband and wife.”
“Okay, I’m not sure we all do, but sure, we can go.” I’ve probably nosed my way into Nolan’s business enough, anyways. I get to my feet, and Nolan stands up beside me. “We should go find Ralph and Aiden, they slipped off somewhere.”
“Sounds good.” Noah turns to Tucker and warmly shakes his hand. “Tucker, thanks again for all your hospitality, man.”
“Of course!” says Tucker, who’s clearly still baffled on the whole about the situation at large. “It’s been a - a strange but exciting weekend.”
Nolan lets out a weak, rasping laugh, then gives himself a little shake, pulling it together. “I’ll just go get the car keys, then. Give you guys a ride back to the hotel.”
“Cool, we’ll be right back, just gonna go get Aiden and Ralph,” Noah calls after him.
“Okay!”
I give Tucker a handshake and a heartfelt thank you, too, then lead Noah into the trees where I saw Aiden and Ralph disappear.
We find them talking to Violet, who’s listening with one hand wrapped around her branch staff. I think I just saw her slip something into one of her potion bottles.
Yes, she whispers, corking up the bottle as Noah and I come up to join the group. An amused, devious expression is on her wrinkled face. I can work with this, and I can do that before I go. I wonder if you might supply me with some power, Guardian? My own magic wanes.
Aiden releases a few fireflies, the best he can do at this low level of energy. They float up to hover around Violet, bumping gently against her antlers.
“Just drain them when you’re ready,” Aiden tells her, tiredly leaning against me, Kasey hovering at his other side.
I will. Regardless, it will only last for a limited time. I’ll leave it waiting for you behind the hotel, but you must move quickly once you activate the spell. As soon as it is out of power…
“Understood,” Aiden rumbles. “We’ll go get it. Thanks for helping us, Violet. Safe travels back to your territory.”
Thank you, Son of Fate. And thank you for returning me to myself. She tilts her face up to the sunlight, smiling softly. It will be good to rest in the forest once more.
She turns away, her six eyes traveling over our faces, her green lips turned up at the corners. Goodbye. For now.
“Goodbye,” we all call back softly.
She strides off into the trees, a shimmering vision of green, and then gone.
I turn to Aiden, Ralph, and Kasey. “What were you guys planning with Violet?”
Ralph and Aiden exchange a grin, then set off for the path back to the outpost.
“You’ll see,” Aiden says, catching my hand as he goes. “C’mon. We need to get back to the hotel.”
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