Sunbeams - Part Twenty
This episode is part of a larger story, Soft Touch. If you haven’t yet, you can go back and read it from the beginning right here.
I’m leaning against my car, taking deep breaths. It’s a drizzly morning, full of crisp and cool air. An open pale blue sky, scudded with grey, puffy drags of cloud. The forest behind Ralph’s house is swaying in the breeze, pine needles dancing and shivering, giving off sparkling droplets of spring rain.
I’ve been gazing around, taking it all in, but I snap upright when I hear the door of Ralph’s house open. Aiden steps outside, shoulders his backpack, and waves when he sees me. He shivers in the breeze, settles his snapback down over his hair, then sets off towards me down the path, keeping his head down against the windy drizzle.
I push up from my car and stride to meet him halfway up the gravel driveway, trying to get a better look at his face the whole way there. I haven’t been worried about how Noah and Ralph would react to the truth, but I am anxious to see how Aiden is handling everything.
He looks up when I get to him, finally giving me a good look at his face. Warm relief instantly pours into my chest, fending off the chilly bite of the morning air better than my jacket.
I bound up to Aiden, take two handfuls of his jacket, and open my mouth to say something. Aiden takes that as an opportunity to kiss me, cutting me off with his mouth on mine before I can get a single word out. I blink hard in surprise, then close my eyes, melting into him. The teasing flick of his tongue against mine makes my grasp on his jacket tighten, makes me press my face closer to his.
It turns into a long, deep kiss that leaves me blank of everything I was going to say, every question I was about to ask.
Which maybe was Aiden’s intention, I realize suddenly. I tilt my head back to look up at him, arching a suspicious eyebrow. He laughs, blushing a little. Busted.
I scrunch up my nose at him in exasperation, but honestly, I can’t be mad about it. His blue eyes are shining with warmth as he gazes down at me, clear and bright and smiling. That’s all I wanted to see, and the relief that hits me makes me slump into him.
He drops his hand from my jaw, interlaces his fingers with mine, and gives my hand a tight squeeze before he sets off down the gravel driveway towards my car.
“You don’t want to talk about it?” I ask softly, stroking the side of his thumb with the pad of mine.
Aiden takes some time to decide how to answer that. We’re both settling into my car by the time he breaks his silence.
“It’s - not that I don’t want to tell you,” he rumbles, very slowly. “It just feels like that was… only for us. For me, Ralph, and Noah, like - not for anyone else.”
He cringes instantly, with his whole face, like I’m sure to misunderstand what he meant. He opens his mouth, struggling and alarmed, searching for better words.
“Hey, don’t worry.” I push a to-go cup from Mugshot into his hands, coffee-scented steam escaping through the lid. “It’s okay. I get it. It can stay between you three, that’s fine.”
Aiden looks over at me in relief, then lets out a blissful sigh as the heat of the cup melts into his cold hands.
I turn slightly to face him in the driver’s seat, surprised. “Not keeping yourself warm?”
“Mmm, no,” he murmurs, reaching out to twist a strand of my hair around his fingertips. “I spent some magic last night.”
Oh, god. I’m so curious, but I know I shouldn’t ask.
I lift my hand to curl my knuckles against Aiden’s jaw. “Just tell me that everything went okay.”
“Mhm, it did.” Aiden lets out a slow, tired breath, smiling with his eyes. “Are you about to tell me how stupid I am for worrying so much?”
“What?” I sputter, drawing back in alarm. “No, of course not! That’s so mean, why would I do that?”
“Because - maybe I deserve it?”
“No, I don’t think so, not at all!”
Aiden drops his head, then looks sidelong at me, a little shamefaced. “It’s fine, you can say it.”
I wince reluctantly at Aiden. “I mean… I’ll do it if it makes you happy?”
I look at him with imploring eyes, silently adding - I really don’t want to, though, so please don’t make me.
Aiden catches that look in my eyes. He pauses, then huffs out an affectionate, appreciative laugh, his expression relaxing. He opens his mouth to say something, then stops, blinking hard and fast. He drops his gaze back to his lap, runs a hand over his dark beard of stubble.
“Oh, wait,” I pin on, brightening up. “I can’t say it, because it’s a lie. I’ll mess it up somehow, believe m-”
“Jamie.” Aiden suddenly looks up at me again, speaking in a nervous rush. “Does - does the name Kit mean anything to you?”
“Kit?” I give it some thought, tapping a finger on the wheel as I scan my memory. “No, I don’t think so. Why?”
Aiden hesitates for a moment.
“I just, um - it’s hard to explain, but I overheard a kid named Kit talking to someone, and his lil’ voice was so sweet. So worried about everyone else, and so gentle. It was adorable. Got me wondering if maybe…?”
Aiden trails off, his eyebrows furrowed. He looks like he’s not sure exactly what question he’s trying to ask me, so I just answer.
“Aw.” I flash Aiden a fond smile, sticking my car key in the ignition. “He sounds like you, Sugar Maple.”
Aiden blinks very fast, then jerks his head back in surprise, staring at me with wide eyes.
“You think he sounds like me?” he asks, startled. And then, when I nod at him - “But that’s backwards.”
“What-? Backwards how? I’m confused on a few different fronts. Where’d you meet this kid?”
“I didn’t, it was only - I - forget it.” Aiden’s hand goes across the console to give my fingers a fast squeeze. “Nevermind, Linden. Don’t mind me. I'm just talking, I’m - tired.”
I can tell that Aiden is doing a lot more than just talking. He’s clearly thinking hard about something. But I’m pretty much lost at this point, so I let it go. Aiden cradles his coffee in one hand, trailing the fingertips of the other along my tattoo, lost in his thoughts.
“It’s a cute name, though,” I tell him, starting my car. “Kit? Don’t you think?”
Aiden gives a very slight nod of his head, but doesn’t say anything. He holds perfectly still for a moment, then suddenly and swiftly leans across the car. I turn to look at him in surprise, and he sinks his fingers into my hair, draws my head to him.
He places an infinitely soft, intimate kiss on my temple. Holds me there for a second, his lips lingering against me. Then he lets me go and sits back, carefully keeping his eyes on his coffee.
“You - you’re weird this morning,” I stammer, staring at him with adoring eyes.
“I know,” he murmurs, his deep voice helpless.
He finally glances over at me, and our eyes connect. We breathe out a mingled, quiet rush of laughter. I’m confused, but in a warm, melty way that I don’t feel the need to question.
Aiden quickly turns his face away from me again. It’s like he’s having a hard time looking at me right now, for some reason, or he doesn’t want me to see his expression. But I can tell that he’s keeping a smile to himself over there. I see it in how his cheek is rounded out. The deepening of the fine lines at the corners of his eyes.
I take a sip of my coffee, mostly as an excuse to take a beat, let my heart steady itself out before I start driving.
“So - feels like nothing has changed between you guys?” I ask, figuring I can get away with one more question. “You, Ralph, and Noah?”
“Yeah, it does,” Aiden sighs, closing his eyes in relief. “Everything is just-”
Aiden breaks off as the sound of crunching gravel draws his attention to the windshield. Another car pulls up with its nose to mine. Melanie gives us a warm smile and a little wave from the driver’s seat, then leans over the wheel to look at Ralph’s house.
I follow her eyes up the gravel driveway and spot Noah coming down it through the light drizzle. His long hair is knotted in a messy, sleep-tousled bun, his grey eyes only halfway open. But his face wakes up and lights up when he sees Mel.
Mel smiles, blows her breath out against the car window, and uses her fingertip to draw a heart around him in the mist. Then she blushes and sits back, shrugs her shoulders like - that was stupid. But Noah breaks into an enormous grin, revealing the dimples at the corners of his mouth. Mel starts giggling as he eagerly doubles his speed, practically rushing for her, stumbling on his untied boot laces.
He slows down a little when he realizes we’re still parked nearby. He stops between our two cars, then knocks his tattooed knuckles on the hood of mine.
“Hey, Aiden!” he says, raising his voice to be heard through the windshield and rolled-up windows. “I’m gonna go home and watch Magic Mike XXL, bro!”
My eyebrows fly up. I twist to stare at Aiden as an immediate, crimson blush spikes in his cheeks.
He violently throws an air punch in Noah’s direction, snapping upright in the passenger’s seat. “Dude! For fuck’s sake!”
“What? I’m serious!” Noah plants his hands on my car, then proceeds to do a dance of such overdramatized sexiness that it circles all the way back around to total absurdity. “Can always stand to learn some new moves, man!”
I let out a sharp gasp, then break into bewildered laughter as Noah works it out against the hood of my car. Mel is folded over her steering wheel, shaking with laughter, her fingers pressed over her mouth. Aiden sinks all the way down in his seat in horror, half-hiding behind his hands.
A sudden flash comes from Ralph’s porch, and we all look over to see him standing there with his camera, grinning from ear to ear.
“No!” Noah shouts, snapping upright instantly. “Merde!”
Aiden opens the car door to lean out of it and shout at Noah. “That’s what you get, you goddamn clown!”
“Ralph, delete it!” Noah yells, then lets out a pained sound when Ralph plants his hands on the porch railing and starts doing a little version of the same dance back at him. “I’m coming over there to kill you!”
Aiden shoves his coffee back into my hands as he rushes out of the car. “I’m coming over there to kill you!”
Mel makes it out of her car just in time to catch Noah by a handful of his torn-up shirt before he can go too far towards Ralph, and I get Aiden around the waist with both arms before he can reach Noah. Ralph watches from his porch, snickering with laughter, leaning his elbows on the railing.
“Hey, Jamie,” Mel laughs, catching my eye as she drags Noah back towards her car. “Nice to see you! Beautiful day, isn’t it?”
“It is!” I manage, struggling to pull Aiden in the direction of mine. It’s difficult, and I’m already very out of breath. “You guys have a - nice morning - give Nik a - snuggle for us! Thank you for my - not-birthday brownies - by the way - they were great-”
“No problem - sweet thing,” Melanie calls, panting with effort as she drags Noah around to the passenger’s side. “I’ll - send you the - recipe!”
I shove Aiden forcibly down into the passenger’s seat, smiling and nodding at Melanie. “Great, thanks! Tell Raj we say hi!”
Aiden presses his palms over his eyes when I finally pull my car away from Ralph’s house. He lets out a mortified groan, the blush still darkening his cheeks.
“Fucking Noah! I swear to god!”
“Well, there’s my question answered,” I laugh, taking my car around the curve of Canyon Road. “Sure seems like nothing’s changed between you three.”
“Should’ve told Noah that I could smite him if I wanted to,” Aiden grumbles, and I let out a burst of startled laughter.
“Well, too late.” I flash Aiden a proud smile before I get my eyes back on the road. “Missed your opportunity. They know the truth, now. You did it. You told them.”
Aiden pauses, looking almost a little startled at the reminder. He lets out a slow, dazed breath, pulling himself back together. His blue eyes fill up with an obvious glow of immense relief. He absently drops his hand to my thigh, strokes it gently with his thumb.
“Wasn’t easy,” he murmurs, sounding exhausted.
“I bet it wasn’t. No offense, but, um… I’ve seen you guys try to have serious talks with each other. All three of you look like you’re in extreme, physical discomfort. The whole time.” I wince at Aiden, taking a sip of my coffee. “Ralph is always clenching his jaw so tightly, I honestly worry that his teeth are gonna crack. And you, um - you kind of do the same thing, to tell you the truth.”
“Yeah, I’m gonna take a break from telling anyone else for a while,” Aiden rumbles tiredly, slumping over his coffee. “Think that’s fair? Noah said he can keep it to himself for the time being.”
“Yes.” Keeping my eyes on the road, I reach across the car, draw Aiden’s head to me, and kiss the top of it. “I think that’s more than fair. We do this at your pace.”
Aiden smiles, then rubs his eyes and yawns deeply. “Have you seen the plant that you gave Ralph, recently?”
“Yes! Can you believe how well it’s turned around, in such a short time?” I shake my head in disbelief. “It’s got a flower already, and I think those new buds are gonna open any day now. It was on the brink when I gave it to him!”
“I know,” Aiden murmurs, staring out of the window at the green wall of trees rolling past. “He saved it. He must really be taking good care of it.”
There’s a hint of pride in Aiden’s voice. He’s clearly trying not to let it show, but I know my Companion Plant too well to miss it.
The talk of saving something makes me wonder if Aiden talked to Ralph and Noah about coming with us on rescues. After a moment, I decide that he must have. Aiden and I were so sure that they would insist on helping him with his Guardian responsibilities. I think he’d only bother to bring it up right now if they’d surprised the hell out of him and done the opposite.
Looks like the team has officially grown by two.
“I wonder how long we’ll go before we see the full team in action,” Aiden says quietly, apparently following my line of thought.
There’s just no way to know, because rescues don’t happen on any kind of consistent basis. The next one could happen whenever, but my hope is that it won’t be for a while, so that everyone can catch their breath. Both from the last rescue, and from the difficult conversations that followed it.
But if there is another rescue soon, another cry for help…
“Ralph and Noah will be there with us, now,” I answer, giving Aiden’s fingers a reassuring squeeze. “Both of your brothers on our team. I like our odds better now than I ever have before.”
“I do, too,” Aiden sighs, in something like relief.
“Future’s looking good,” I tell him, flashing him a bright smile.
Aiden breaks into a small smile of his own.
I think I see something warm and glowing move in his blue eyes, but he turns his face away again before I can get a better look.
~~~~
I expect to find Aiden on our bed or in the shower when I head upstairs a few minutes after him, having stopped to quickly pull up some weeds I spotted in the front garden.
But I find him standing in the doorway of our second bedroom. Leaning his shoulder against the doorframe, gazing into the empty room, one hand wound around the back of his own neck. Deep in thought.
“Can’t be sure, obviously,” he says softly, when I stop behind him. “But - seems… possible… couldn’t it have been…?”
I fold my arms around his waist from behind, affectionately leaning my cheek against his back. “What are you talking about, strange one?”
Aiden doesn’t answer for a long time, so I’m startled when he suddenly spins around and takes my face in both hands. He puts his forehead to mine, then starts walking me backwards towards our bedroom. He lets out an agonized groan, pressing fast kisses all over my face, like he needs to land one on every freckle I have.
“So. Hard. Not. To. Catch. High. Hopes. God. Damnit!”
“What-?” I let out a bewildered laugh, winding my arms around his waist again. “I’m following less than half of the stuff you’re saying, this morning! And why do you look so anxious all of a sudden? Did your brain break under the stress last night?”
Aiden pushes me back onto our bed, then flops down onto me helplessly. “I don’t know! Maybe? That might actually be the most logical explanation.”
“For what?”
“For - nothing!” Aiden props himself up on his elbows and gazes down at me, fierce determination in his eyes. “Only way I don’t catch this particular hope is by not thinking about it, so - I’m not fucking thinking about it!”
“Well - I’m not, either, ‘cause I don’t know what the fuck we’re talking about!”
“Good, Keane! That’s how it should be!”
“Yeah, I mean, I guess so! I wouldn’t know!”
Aiden and I both start laughing helplessly as we speak. My laughter comes from total confusion, Aiden’s probably from the befuddled look on my face. His huffing laugh makes me laugh more, and I think he’s having his version of the same problem. We both dissolve completely into stupid laughter over nothing, then stop for a second, trying to pull it back together.
“Here we are having a whole entire conversation with me missing half of the pieces,” I complain, looking up at Aiden with laughing eyes. “What a fucking mess. This is what happens when you hang with your brothers. You three get into altogether too much mischief. I can’t even figure out what happened, after.”
Aiden smiles down at me, his eyes like two deep ocean pools, full of tropical warmth. “A little mischief is good for you, Keane.”
“Oh, I agree.” I push my hands into Aiden’s hair as he drops his head to softly brush kisses along my collarbone. My mind drifts back to the empty bedroom. “I’d be sad if our kids never got into any mischief.”
Aiden breathes out a soft laugh against my skin, his voice a deep rumble low in his throat. “I don’t think we need to worry about that.”
I start to let out a confused little laugh, opening my mouth to answer. But Aiden suddenly seems determined to distract both of us.
He lifts his head and locks me into a deep kiss, delivering a full-body, shivering rush of heat with each movement of his tongue against mine. He kisses me like I’m his favorite flavor of everything, holding my jaw tight with one hand, keeping my mouth open for him. A hot blush rushes to my cheeks. The rhythm of my heartbeat stumbles, then begins to race.
I arch up against him before I know what I’m doing, seizing two fistfuls of his henley, thinking to myself it’s not fair how good he is at blanking out my brain like this. If Aiden is determined enough, I’m going to forget all about this conversation by the time we leave this bed again. He’s going to make me forget, in that way only he can do.
It’s the last thought I have before I’ve melted completely into Aiden’s arms, and I have no more thoughts at all.
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