Sunbeams - Part Fifteen
This episode is part of a larger story, Soft Touch. If you haven’t yet, you can go back and read it from the beginning right here.
The wet, quiet spring night is very still all around me. The light breeze barely rustles the leaves of the branch that reaches through our bedroom window.
The pretty blue butterfly I’ve seen around the garden flutters down to rest on the indoor branch for a moment, presumably taking a break on its way to shelter the night in the malachite tree again. I’ve found it there a few times, now.
The breeze is so mild and gentle that it doesn’t give the butterfly so much as the slightest push before it climbs into the air and takes flight again.
I watch it flutter off from where I’m laying stretched out across the bed, then close my eyes and rest my head on my arms. Drowsy from my long day, my long shift at the shop. Drifting through my thoughts. But I wake quickly when I suddenly sense another, very quiet presence in the bedroom.
I open my eyes, then smile happily when they fall on my Companion Plant. I heard his heavy footsteps on the stairs, but I thought I might have dreamed them.
He’s standing in the bedroom doorway. His big frame fills it almost completely, so that the light from the hallway filters softly around him, diffuses on his rumpled work clothes and his tousled chestnut hair.
His sleeves are rolled up, hands resting in his pockets. Blue eyes on me.
“Mmm - hi!” I sit up on my elbows enthusiastically, blinking my sleepy eyes hard. “You’re home late tonight, huh? I’m glad you’re back. I was starting to miss you too bad.”
The corner of Aiden’s mouth turns up in a subtle, glowing smile that I could already see in his eyes. He pads quietly into the bedroom and starts taking off his watch, still looking at me.
“I checked on your Tree after my shift,” I tell him, my voice picking up speed as I wake back up. “It’s looking great! The choking vine left some scars, but that’s okay. The Tree is healthy, which - I know that, because you are, too, but I still like to check.”
Aiden sets his watch aside and pulls off his socks, watching me as my chatterbox self gets into gear.
“The saniderm fell off of my back, by the way, so I washed the tattoo how Noah told me to. But I didn’t look at it, since he said to wait for the swelling to go down. It’s so weird, though, I can feel the tattoo with my fingers if I reach back. I’ve had to stop myself all day. And I had to be at the shop before the sun was up, so I didn’t look into the coffee room when I came home. Raj and Ripples said to wait until morning, so I assume it’s something that needs sunlight? The point is, I decided I’ll just look at everything on my birthday.”
Aiden gives Luna a soft scratch of greeting, then comes and sits down on the bed next to me. He looks exhausted, but he’s smiling warmly at me. Listening to everything I’m saying.
“I lit the lamp.” I lean onto one elbow, so I can look up at him. “Did you see it?”
It’s the old hanging lantern next to our front door. It’s so old and rusted that I wasn’t sure if it was safe to use, but Noah and Raj both had a look at it the last time they were here. Noah confirmed it wasn’t hooked up to anything electrical, and Raj confirmed it was safe to light with a candle.
I did it for the first time tonight, when Aiden texted me his ETA. I knew he’d be home late, in the dark, and I didn’t want him to trip in the front garden.
It turns out I really like the way the lantern looks. In the falling twilight, in the mist, with the dimness of the woods and the garden on all sides - a small light, glowing brightly. The candle casts a flickering glow of pure warmth, deep and golden in the soft black night.
“Mhm,” Aiden murmurs, a small smile playing around his mouth as he looks into my eyes. “I saw it. You realize I can light my own way, though? I’m a Heliomancer.”
“Oh, yeah.” I yawn a little, shaking my head tiredly. “I forgot for a sec. I wasn’t thinking, the Heliomancer’s on his way home, you know? I was thinking - Aiden’s on his way home.”
Aiden smiles down at me in silence, then reaches out to softly stroke my face.
“Oh, and there was a whole talk I had with Kent at the shop, about Ellen,” I blurt out, remembering all at once. “Naomi sent a letter.”
“Naomi?” Aiden asks, his eyebrows knitted in confusion. “Spencer’s turtle?”
“No, the other Naomi, the - oh, my god. I have so much to tell you, I don’t even know where to start-”
Aiden breathes out a deep, rumbling laugh, gently stroking my cheek with his thumb.
I stop in surprise, looking up at him. “What?”
Aiden lays out flat on his back beside me, then lets out a heavy, relieved exhale.
“It’s been a stressful day at work. City Hall was so fucking busy, and all the distractions made it hard for me to keep the noise down. I felt kinda overwhelmed before I even got to my lunch break, so now I’m real fucking exhausted. All I’ve wanted, all day, was to come home and hear you tell me about yours. Just listen.”
He closes his eyes happily, then adds, “Now I finally get to do it, and - it feels good.”
He laughs softly as I place myself on his lap, then tip forward to lay flat on him on the bed, nestling my head under his chin.
“Yeah, see?” he rumbles, one tired hand ruffling my hair. “Sweet paradise.”
I laugh affectionately, keep cozied up close to him for a long moment. Taking long breaths of vetiver, feeling his heart beating against mine, pressing my nose into the warmth of his skin.
Eventually I sit upright on his lap, my knees sinking into the bed on either side of him. I want to ask him about his stressful day, but I can tell that he’s already moved past it. And I know now that he mostly just wants to listen.
“Jumble seems better today.” I nod at the cardboard box with the fluffy little injured bird in it, then start unbuttoning Aiden’s shirt. “He’s not flying, but he tried to hop around a little! And he ate more peanut butter than he’s been eating. Cheeped at me a lot.”
Aiden lets out a quiet, relieved sigh, smiling like this really is all he wanted all day. “Oh, yeah?”
“Mhm.” I undo the last button on his shirt, and he lifts himself slightly off of the bed so I can take it off of him. I toss it aside, then let out a startled laugh when I catch the expression on his face. “Wow, man. You look, like - really happy to be hearing my Jumble updates.”
“I am,” Aiden laughs suddenly, like the truth just broke out of him. “Easily the best part of my day, so far.”
There’s something so sweet and warm and helpless in his voice. Pure, rich sweetness, like melted brown sugar. The kind of sweetness that leaves its taste lingering in your mouth for a long time.
He looks up at me from the bedding, muscle-heavy arms relaxed around his head, the low light casting velvet shadows over his body. The fine lines at the corners of his eyes are deepened by his smile.
I stare at him with my heart in my throat, then slowly lean down and press a kiss onto his stubbled jaw. He smiles shyly at me as I sit back and get to work on his belt, tugging the leather free from its buckle.
“You’re not done yet, are you?” he asks, sitting up on his elbows. “You said you had so much to tell me.”
“I did, I’ve got lots!” I totally haven’t forgotten all of it just because I was looking at you. “Um - oh, I showed Kasey and Will our list! They’re okay with it.”
Aiden pauses at this, his expression growing serious. He distractedly raises his hips from the bed so that I can draw his pants off of him. But when I fall back onto my feet to do it, he twists around and reaches up to the night table.
He sits up at the edge of the bed again, holding the list we wrote out.
Inner Circle:
Noah
Ralph
Raj
Ripley
Mel
Kent
Gabby
Marcus
Mary
Aunt Sarah
Roger
Luca
Floyd
Spencer
Ellen (Someday)
Nikita (Someday)
“I left off Calla,” I tell Aiden, as his eyes linger on the list. “Because if she’s who we think she is, her grandmother may have been a Guardian. If that’s true, then she already knows about this stuff, anyways. She’s part of her own inner circle.”
Aiden nods slowly, glancing up at me. But his anxious eyes dip right back down to the list. He’s holding the page tightly.
“Hey,” I murmur, sitting down beside him on the bed. “Remember, this is just a list of who we’re thinking of. We can do this on your timetable, at your pace. And keep in mind that three people on that list already know.”
“That’s true.” Aiden’s soft-spoken voice has gone even quieter than usual. He sets the note aside, then runs a hand over his stubbled jaw. “I was thinking about it at work today. Think you’re right. Noah and Ralph - they’re the best place for me to start.”
I can tell he has more to say if I wait, so I cuddle up to him from behind, resting my cheek against his shoulder.
“I know that both of them can keep a secret,” he says slowly, after a long silence. “And I know that they would do it for me, if I asked them to. Not a doubt in my mind about that. But…”
“But?” I prompt him softly, after the silence has gone on for a bit.
“I just - I don’t want Ralph and Noosh looking at me any differently from how they did before.” Aiden finally lifts his fretful eyes to my face, biting his lip anxiously. “Don’t want them treating me any different from how they always have. I need them to know this doesn’t change anything, that I don’t want it to change anything.”
I don’t answer, and eventually Aiden turns to look at me over his shoulder. I lift my head to meet his questioning eyes, then blink in surprise.
“Oh - do you want my opinion on this? Because really, it’s up to you, Aiden. I can’t predict how Ralph and Noah will-”
“That’s all I want, though,” he interrupts gently. “Your opinion.”
I hesitate for a long moment, then just say what I’m thinking.
“I think that you could probably sprout wings and take off right in front of Noah and Ralph, and it wouldn’t matter. They’d still always look at you and see their brother. I think that even when all three of you were ready to kill each other, you were still looking at each other as brothers. Somewhere deep down.”
Aiden absorbs that in silence, a complicated storm of emotions and thoughts moving in his beautiful eyes.
“Really deep down,” I add, and he huffs out a quiet laugh.
“Here’s the thing,” he says slowly, after another stretch of silence. “In my experience, it’s better to sort of ease people into it. Not just tell them to their face right away. They have to make room in their brain for the possibility first, or that conversation can go badly.”
“Okay.” I push my hair back from my eyes, thinking out loud. “Well, Ralph and Noah have known you since you guys were kids. I’m sure they must have noticed you rushing off a few times, or doing things you couldn’t explain.”
“Yeah, but I’ve been gone for eight years, Jamie. They’ve had a lot of time for that stuff to slip from their memory. To forget those things about me.” Aiden nibbles his lip uncertainly. “Honestly, I’ve got no idea how much they suspect.”
“So… you want to do something to make sure we’re easing them into it, just in case.”
Aiden nods, looking relieved that I’ve understood the point he was trying to get across.
“I’ll tell them,” he says earnestly, looking into my eyes. “I will. But I want to lay some groundwork first.”
I think that over for a moment, then catch Aiden’s hand in my fingers. I draw him further back onto the bed with me, and he gets up on his knees to follow.
“I think that sounds like a solid plan, Sugar Maple.” I take off my shirt and toss it aside, then fall back and let Aiden slide my grey shorts off of me. “Got any ideas?”
I look down in surprise when he takes my boxers with my shorts, then laugh as he eagerly loses his own, too, a playful little grin on his face.
“Not yet.” He falls forward over me, bracing his flexed forearms in the bed on either side of my head. “Figured we could sort it out after we get back from our visit to the farmhouse in Port Sitka.”
I slide my hands up either side of Aiden’s spine, kneading his muscles with that deep pressure he likes even as I let out a pained groan of distress.
“God, right, off to Port Sitka to check for some ghost moments! How did this become my thing, again?”
“The ghost moments can’t hurt you, Keane,” Aiden rumbles, nuzzling his nose into mine.
“Yeah, I know! But I’m still gonna have to bear witness to some paranormal weirdness!”
Aiden huffs out a laugh against my neck, then bites it. “Will and Kasey haven’t made you immune to being freaked out by paranormal weirdness yet?”
“No!”
“Mkay, I’m just gonna remind you of the personalized list of recommended movie genres that our TV gave us, based on what you’ve liked. Aliens, Conspiracies, Folk Horror, Creature Features, Cryptids, Cursed Media - which, I don’t even know what that last one is-”
“Ugh, yeah, but-” I catch my lip between my teeth as his mouth moves to my throat. My fingers fly up to curl around his biceps. “It's different seeing it in person! Knowing I’m the only one who can see it, and being right where it happened! Makes it ten times scarier!”
“I’ll be right there with you, tomorrow night,” Aiden reminds me, his voice dropped to a low, husky murmur. “The whole time, I’ll be right there.”
Strange, how much this simple fact instantly soothes the nerves that were swelling up in my chest. His deep voice sinks deep into me, silencing everything else trying to get my attention.
Aiden kisses his way up the curve of my neck, to my jaw, slowly coming closer and closer to my mouth.
“We’ll go around sunset, if that’s okay,” he murmurs, fitting his words in between lingering kisses. “Charge up your Vision when we get close. That way it should be good and dark, for you to see the ghost memories.”
“Okay,” I answer breathlessly, officially having forgotten what we’re talking about. “Sweet. Perfect.”
“When we get back, we can talk about the best way to ease everyone into this. Not just Noah and Ralph. We should have a plan for the others, when the time comes. I want to do this the right way, and there’s probably a different right way for everyone.”
I think about that for a moment, an idea slowly taking shape in my mind.
“I might know where to start,” I answer. “For one of them, I might know where to start.”
~~~~
I wake up with sunlight slanting across our bed, my body perfectly pinned in place by the weight of Aiden’s brawny arm and heavy thigh folded over me.
I work my way free, careful not to wake him up. I push his hair away from his temple so that I can place a soft kiss on it.
In the quiet, sunlit stillness of the house, I feed Luna, then Jumble, whose feathers are still all nervously puffed and adorably jumbled up. I put on a pot of coffee, so it’ll be ready when Aiden wakes up. Then I gather together what I need to take with me, and silently head for my car.
Ketterbridge breathes out soft, green spring air from every direction when I get out and lock my car. My parents’ street is quiet, but the neighbors who are outside wave and call out to me as I weave up the path. I smile and wave back at them, but keep my little cargo close to my chest, half-hidden in my flannel.
My mom opens the door in her kitchen apron, letting out a waft of air that smells like baking bread.
“Oh - hey, sweetheart!” Her eyes fill with pleased surprise as she gently straightens the collar of my flannel. “I didn’t know you were coming by!”
“Hi, mom!” I lean down to accept the hug from her, careful not to drop what I’m holding. “I brought you a present!”
“What-?” My mom draws back, half-laughing. “Jamie, it’s nearly your birthday, and you’re the one bringing me a present?”
“I know, but it’s something I really want you to have.”
My mom pauses, looking up at me fondly, her head tilted to the side. “What is it?”
I shift my bag on my shoulder, then nod at the back of the house. “You have a little time to garden?”
~~~~
Gardening with my mom is something I’ve done more times than I can count. I used to sit out here and play nearby while she gardened, when I was too young to join her. I don’t remember, but she says that she remembers the first time I got curious about what she was doing. One day she turned around to find that I had pulled up the shoots she was planting so I could see them. She had to laughingly rescue them from my clutching fingers.
The tradition has lasted, and we’ve had a lot of long talks while gardening together. But today I want to plant the beginnings of a conversation we’re going to have later. In the future.
“What is that, sweetie?” my mom asks, staring with fascinated eyes at what’s in my hands. “I’ve never seen anything like it before.”
The malachite cutting sways gently in its jar, its beautiful leaves turned in the direction of mine and Aiden’s house. In his direction.
“It’s a very, very rare plant,” I explain, holding it up so that my mom can see it better. “A sapling. I planted one at our house, but I want you and dad to have the other one.”
“Aw!” She looks up at me fondly, then spreads her hand on my back. “My sweet boy! Thank you, honey, it’s just gorgeous.”
There’s a pause, and then she adds - “But where did you get it?”
I watch her nervously as she carefully takes the jar from me and stares at the marbled, velvet-soft leaves. “Aiden gave it to me.”
“Where did he find - what is it?” My mom’s eyes flit up to my face in confusion. “Genus, species?”
“Yeah, I don’t know.” I twist the ring around my finger, my knees sinking a little into the soft, dark spring earth behind my parents' house. “I thought maybe we could just let it grow, and - see what it becomes.”
My mom blinks in surprise, but smiles at me.
“That’s a nice thought, sweetheart.”
Her long red braid falls over her shoulder as she leans forward over her work. She hands me back the jar with the cutting, then begins digging out a place for it in the rich soil.
We’re right near the bench swing that hangs from a tree branch at the far edge of the yard. The same place where Aiden and I talked on the night when we told each other that we love each other for the first time.
I bite back a secret smile. It makes me happy to think of a magic tree growing here. Marking the place.
“So, here’s what I do know.” I set the jar with the cutting aside, so I can get some copper rings from the hardware store out of my bag. “This tree basically eats copper. We definitely want to put a few of these beneath it.”
“What?” my mom laughs, sitting back on her ankles. “No, that can’t be right! It probably wants its minerals in trace amounts, you know that-”
“No, mom, trust me,” I jump in hastily, before she can reach for the cutting. “It’s from Aiden, it’s - it’s a special tree, it needs special things!”
“I understand that it’s special, honey, but-”
She breaks off sharply as the breeze stirs the leaves of the malachite cutting, so that they breathe out their soft, chiming song.
My mom pauses, startled, then looks up at me.
“Oh, my - what…?” she says quietly, her amber eyes very wide. “I’ve never met a sapling that does that!”
“I told you, it’s special.” I sprinkle the copper rings into the hole in the ground she dug out, then press the jar with the malachite cutting into her hands. “Just watch it grow, and you’ll see.”
My mom tilts her head to the side curiously, then drops her gaze to the cutting.
She gently scoops the malachite sapling out of the jar, places it in the soft earth with the copper, and smooths soil over its fragile roots.
I bite back a soft sigh of relief, gazing down at the plant, its leaves formed from magic.
It’s planted. Now all I have to do is sit back, and let it grow.
Aiden is right. We need to ease people into this, and find the right way to do it for each person we put on our list. It’s not telling them the whole truth, not yet, but it’s a start. And something in me feels sure that this is the right way to start with my mom.
Now we just need to figure out the right way to start with the others.
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