Special Episode: Conductivity
This episode is part of a larger story, Soft Touch. If you haven’t yet, you can go back and read it from the beginning right here. This episode contains mature content.
Melanie stands in front of the mirror, taking a long look at herself.
She’s practically glowing, after the way she spent the last hour. She took a long soak with rose and coconut milk bath salts. Slowly washed her hair, and put softening, sweet-smelling treatments into the tangles before she brushed it. When she got out of the bath she smoothed moisturizer into her skin, until it felt velvet soft.
She nervously adjusts the thick, complicated braid she folded her hair into. She does a turn to examine her outfit, peers into her own eyes again, and freezes. She just heard a distant clatter from downstairs, from the garage.
He’s down there. Time is running out, so if she’s going to do this, she needs to do it now.
Her heart does a nervous, fluttering stumble.
She backs away from the mirror, rearranges her braid one more time, then slips out of the bedroom and heads downstairs. The sunlit house is quiet, since Raj brought Nikita along with him to the lumber supplier. Golden afternoon light rests on the windowsills and pours over them to pool on the carpet. The perfume of the plants outside drifts into the peaceful, empty rooms.
Melanie goes through the kitchen and stops at the door of the garage. The faint thudding of a dance beat vibrates the door. It’s like the house has a heartbeat, when he’s got his music playing.
She takes a deep breath, opens the door, and freezes to the spot, her heartbeat stumbling again.
He’s leaning over her car, his long inky hair knotted into a messy bun. His hands are resting on either side of the popped hood, encased in those heavy lineman’s gloves he wears for doing electrical work.
He’s wearing no shirt, only his jeans and battered tan workboots, and he has his back to her. That means Melanie has an eyeful of ink, in the form of barbed wire, snarling big cats, moons and animal skulls, coins, more aimless designs that he clearly did when he wasn’t paying much attention…
He lifts his head when he hears her come in. His grey eyes flit her way only for a second, not even really glimpsing her before they drop back down to the engine.
“Hey,” he says.
Melanie nibbles her lip, in love with his voice.
It’s cool and half-dark in here, unlike the sunlit house. The garage door is almost all the way down, so the sunlight only reaches a few feet in, but it reflects on the water gleaming all over the floor. Enough to cast a glow on all of his many piercings, a glow which dances slowly before Mel’s eyes whenever he moves.
She leans against the doorframe, waiting for him to turn around, but he doesn’t. He’s very carefully not looking at her.
Things have been a little awkward between them.
It’s all three of them now, all together. Her, Raj, and Noah. To Melanie’s immense delight and relief, obviously, but – things haven’t exactly fallen into place the way she was envisioning.
She and Noah had a sweet kiss in the kitchen. Since then there’s been almost nothing else. Mel thinks she knows why, and it’s not that he doesn’t want her. She’s sure of that. She’s felt and seen the way he looks at her when he thinks she’s not paying attention.
It’s the same reason why she had to initiate that kiss instead of him. Some part of him is still afraid that he’s going to overstep, and do something that will upset Raj.
Melanie understands. She had those fears herself. But Raj so earnestly assured her that this is all okay, and she wants this so badly. She can’t take this tension anymore. The electricity silently burning between herself and Noah is going to make her lose her mind.
She’s had enough. She’s determined to make this happen. Today. Right now.
She steps barefoot out into the garage, shuddering at the cool shock of the water on her skin. “How goes the car wash?”
“Mmm – I got a little worried when I saw how the water was pooling on the hood, but I don’t see it getting anywhere it shouldn’t be.” He straightens up, still not looking at her. “Don’t worry, an engine is one thing you can trust me with.”
“Oh, I know,” Melanie says honestly, hovering behind him. “Our cars have never looked better or run smoother. You’re magic with these things.”
“Yeah, that’s why the ladies are always throwing themselves at me. I don’t wanna brag, but-” Noah breaks off, having nearly slammed the hood on his finger. “Ow! Tas de merde!”
Melanie tries and fails to bite back a laugh. “Are you okay?”
“Thanks to the gloves,” Noah groans, shaking out his hand.
“I feel like you switch to French when you don’t want us to know what you’re saying, Noah. And this incident made me feel like I need to remind you that you don’t have to censor your cursing for me.”
“Delicate lady’s ears,” Noah says solemnly, pulling off the gloves and tossing them aside.
“No!”
“Too rough for them.”
“Mkay, I sincerely doubt it,” Melanie laughs, as he pauses the song that was playing. “First of all, I’ve been hanging out with you since forever, I’ve already heard it all. Secondly, my company has organized a concert for a band called Fuck Off And Burn Shit.”
Noah breathes out a laugh, washing off his hands with the hose. “Nous sommes faits l’un pour l’autre.”
“Something else you want to tell me, but don’t want me to understand?” Mel asks softly.
Noah goes perfectly still, hearing something in her voice. His expression is hidden from her by an escaping lock of his long black hair, but she saw his jaw flex sharply.
“I have something I want to give you,” Melanie says, just as quietly.
“Oh, no thanks.” Noah drops the hose and shakes the water off of his hands. “Appreciate it, though. That’s real nice of you.”
“What?” Mel draws back in hurt confusion. “But I didn’t even tell you what it is.”
And it’s me.
Noah shrugs his inked-up shoulders. “Yeah, but whatever it is, I don’t want to break it or mess it up or something, so.”
Mel opens her mouth to answer, then closes it. She stands there silently, staring at him with besotted eyes.
“Anyways, you need your car?” he asks, after a second. “I’m almost done washing it.”
Mel knows that, that’s why she wore this outfit down here. But she can’t get him to turn around and look at her. Even though it seems like he very badly wants to. He’s holding the edge of the car very tightly, like he’s putting up some kind of monumental internal effort.
Mel nibbles her lip, trying to think like he does. She picks up the hose, hesitates for a split second, then turns it on at the highest setting and douses him.
Noah gasps sharply, suddenly drenched. He spins around to face her as she switches the water off, droplets spilling down over all his tattoos.
“Oh, man,” he laughs, shaking his hair out of his eyes. “You are just asking – you – you…”
He breaks off, panting, gazing at her in wide-eyed silence.
Melanie lowers the hose, still laughing at his reaction. Her cheeks color up with a delicate blush as his eyes take in the rose-red bikini she’s wearing, the dark denim booty shorts, the thick braid, the red lip stain to match. She chose this outfit just for him. Something tells her he’s a man who likes a classic image. Like a bikini-wearing babe by a nice car.
She lets the giggles trail off, and smiles adoringly at Noah.
He just stands there, perfectly motionless, staring at her like he forgot about everything else. His rapt eyes slowly roam all the way down her body, then all the way back up. Growing darker and darker as his blown-out pupils take over the beautiful silver around them.
Mel gestures to her swimsuit when the silence hangs with no sign of being broken.
“I thought I’d come help you.” She crosses to her car and trails her fingertips over the hood, which is already spotless from his efforts. “I was hoping we could continue our conversation from this morning.”
Noah had silently turned to watch her move over to the car. His tattooed hands open at his sides, then close again. He clears his throat, tearing his eyes away from her.
“This morning?” he asks, with a rough texture beneath his voice that wasn’t there before. “What were we talking about?”
“I said I wanted to hear more about France, and what things are like there.” Melanie fights back another laugh. “You threw that diet cookbook I have in the trash, then said, there, the house is more French now, and that was kind of the end of that conversation? Which I considered less than satisfactory.”
“That cookbook said to cut butter out of your diet, Melanie.” Noah opens his grey eyes wide with horror. “Butter. That’s outright offensive to French people, or at least them what don’t have serious dietary restrictions. Be glad I didn’t burn it.”
Melanie laughs again, then blushes. She’s always a giggling mess around Noah, and sometimes it makes her feel sort of undignified. Like she’s much younger than she actually is, instead of a grown woman. But it’s so fun that she can never bring herself to pull away from it. She loves it too much.
She loves him too much.
“Any other changes you want to make around here, besides throwing all my diet cookbooks in the trash?”
“One or two, yeah,” Noah answers distractedly, fidgeting with his lip piercing, his eyes focused on the blush rising in her cheeks.
Melanie only half hears him. She’s running her eyes down the front of his body, now that he’s facing her. They follow the line of fine, dark hair trailing down his lower stomach to disappear into his jeans. Lots of the tattoos disappear into his jeans, too. Mel wonders where exactly on his body they each end.
Somehow being doused by the hose only made him an even sweeter sight to her ravenous eyes. Little droplets are rolling down all his ink, sparkling on his piercings, clinging to his jawline. The tiny geometric shape by his eye is just catching some of the hot blush suddenly coloring his cheeks.
Mel’s heartbeat is thudding in her throat. It takes her a second to realize she’s staring silently at him, and he’s staring silently at her. With an intensity that sends a little tremor through her.
He quickly breaks his gaze away, holds still for another second, then seizes the hose and douses her with it.
“What-?” Mel staggers backwards with a gasp, her eyes wide with disbelief. “Noah!”
“You didn’t think I was gonna get you back?” he laughs. “Seriously?”
Mel is busy getting the water out of her eyes. She laughs helplessly and shoves her drenched shorts off, down now to just her bikini. She can feel every stray strand from her soaked braid sticking to her neck and her cheeks.
“Couldn’t you have given me one second to prepare for that?” she wails indignantly, throwing the shorts aside.
“Oh, my bad. I’ll do it next time.” He aims the hose at her again. “Ready?”
“No, don’t!” Melanie falls back to sit on the hood of the car, breathless with laughter. “Noah-”
“Pains me to have to do this,” he sighs, shaking his head like it’s a shame, advancing with the hose.
Melanie scrambles further up onto the hood of the car, dodging the spray as he sweeps it past her. “Noah, don’t you dare-”
“You think I want to?” he asks grimly, in a tone of tremendous suffering. “But the balance of justice needs to be restored. Most people got their simple prisons, but those of us outside the law got our own methods.”
He sweeps the spray of the hose in a stripe right up the hood of the car, barely giving Melanie time to scramble backwards, falling back onto her elbows.
“Noah Raunier!” she laughs, speaking automatically, “You stop that right n-”
She opens her eyes, which had closed with her laughter. She just heard the hose go clattering to the floor of the garage.
Her eyelashes flutter as Noah leans over her where she’s laid out on the hood of the car. Mel falls back instinctively, but Noah has already caught her, somehow. Her head doesn’t hit the hood because it’s cradled in one of his hands. Her own hands fly up to his jaw as his head bends over hers, his nose grazing hers, his lips only a breath apart from her lips.
He stops right there. Breathing hard, all of a sudden. Melanie is, too.
His face screws up into an expression of tortured anguish.
“Fuck,” he whispers, in a raw, aching voice. “Just how the fuck am I supposed to keep my hands off of you?”
The rough huskiness in his voice sends a deep shiver through Melanie.
“You’re not,” she whispers back, her lips so close to his that they’re brushing against his piercing with her words. “No one wants you to, remember? Least of all me…”
She glides her hands down his tattooed neck, then winds her arms around it.
Noah remains perfectly motionless for a silent moment. Then he draws back, just enough to open his eyes and look down into hers.
Melanie blushes even more fiercely as their gazes lock together. She can’t believe she’s doing this with him, of all people, after all this time… but she wants to. She shows him just how badly, offering herself up to him with her eyes.
Without a word, he leans down and kisses her.
This isn’t like the sweet little kiss they shared in the kitchen. This is a deep, passionate, smoldering kiss. It’s the match dropped on the incendiary tension that’s been building between them for an unbearably long time. Melanie can almost feel the match falling in slow motion towards all that kindling.
She can almost hear the flames as they finally burst to life.
The dam just breaks. All of a sudden they’re both desperate, frantic. Melanie can’t even think, being kissed with so much urgent hunger, his hands roaming all over her, roughly feeling her everywhere. She sits up on her elbows so she can return each ravenous kiss and then some.
She’s never been with someone who she had a secret, overwhelming, unspoken longing for, and who felt the same way about her. It’s different, she realizes now. She can feel how long he’s held out, resisted. He pounced on her like something let off the leash after a lifetime of straining at it. More than that, it’s like he knows down to the last detail exactly what he wants.
Because he goes right for her braid. He wraps it tight around his fist, and uses it to tug her head back, exposing her throat. He sinks his lips against her skin, sinking himself down between her parted thighs at the same time. Gasping for breath, trembling with electricity and wild rushes of answering desire, she rubs herself up against him, a movement that makes him let out a rush of breath against her throat. What few clothes they have on are soaked, and she can feel him right through his jeans, just like he can feel her right through her bikini.
His fist tightens around her braid, keeping her head wrenched back, but she feels him push aside the pieces of her bikini top on their strings, replacing them with his lips, his tongue. Melanie whimpers, squirming beneath him. On a powerful impulse, she reaches up and wrenches his long hair free from its bun. It spills down to kiss her skin, trailing cool wetness after the heat of his tongue, making her parted thighs give a jolt.
Without moving his mouth away, he’s gliding one hand down her soaked, shivering body, down and down until he’s feeling her through the bikini bottoms, and then those are roughly pushed aside, too. He’s panting with lust, and every broken, uneven breath melts right into her skin, adding heat to the fire burning beneath it, driving her into a frenzy. Whimpers of pleasure start to break from her, uncontrollably.
“Noah,” she gasps, her voice melting into a fractured moan halfway through.
He lets out a jagged breath, and abruptly draws back. Melanie’s eyes flutter open just in time to see him catch her hips in both inky hands. Her breath hitches at the intoxicating sight of him, panting and red-cheeked, grey eyes glassy with desire. She’s seeing him as she’s never seen him, and her eyes drink it in with endless hunger.
He turns her over, so swiftly and roughly that she gasps again. Her feet land on the wet floor of the garage. Noah bends her over the hood of the car and pins her in place with his thighs against hers.
She trembles as he pulls the string on the bikini bottoms and wrenches them away. The trembling grows deeper as she hears the zip of him undoing his jeans, her heart racing with expectancy and desire. She arches her back for him, and he takes her hip in one hand.
Melanie gasps at the unexpected brush of something metallic. A piercing, she realizes incredulously.
And then her eyes flutter shut as they roll back in acute pleasure, choked little cries spilling from her parted lips. She barely hears them. Her ears are filled up completely with the deep, shuddering groan that just broke from Noah, and everything else is filled up with the cascading rush of white-hot ecstasy taking over her.
He drops his forehead onto her shoulder, panting against her back, taking a second before he straightens up again. She shudders against the hood of the car as he begins to rock her against it.
Melanie loses herself in complete abandon, then gasps as he twists her braid around his fist again and uses it to wrench her head back. That makes their bodies melt together even more deeply, makes both of them moan with pleasure. He flattens her to the hood of the car, so that his breaths are right in her ear, growing deeper, more desperate, with more of his voice breaking into them. She can feel him tensing, starting to lose all grasp on his self-control. With her head still harshly tugged back by her braid, he has all the access he wants to the softest, most sensitive parts of her throat. She begins to tremble uncontrollably as he starts kissing all of them, her cheeks on fire, her body wracked with swiftly mounting spasms…
“Noah,” she gasps again, then loses herself in the lightning strike of ecstasy that hits her.
She starts writhing beneath him, spilling out wild cries of pleasure, and he pins her flat to the car. She doesn’t resist in the slightest. She’s aware of nothing but how this feels, and the sound of him letting out one last long, breathless, broken groan, right into her ear. He follows it with a soft, stuttered curse in French, then falls silent.
They both hold still for a long moment, panting. There’s the faint sound of water dripping somewhere, from the hose they left forgotten on the floor. Noah just holds her tightly, so tightly that he’s almost crushing her.
Melanie doesn’t mind it one bit.
She lifts her head, so she can look at him over her shoulder. His grey eyes slowly blink open, heat-glazed and hazy, and meet hers.
He blinks a few times, suddenly worried, like the realization of what they did is only just now hitting him. He gazes deep into her eyes, anxiously searching them for any sign of regret.
Melanie smiles at him in answer, her heart flying on brand new wings.
~~~~
He’s unusually quiet as they head back into the house together. He lets her take his hand and lead him upstairs, all without saying a word. But when she lets him go and turns towards her and Raj’s room, he quickly catches her hand.
“In here,” he says softly, tugging her in the direction of his own bedroom.
“Oh – okay, yeah, but I just have to rinse off first-”
“Just towel off, it’s fine.”
Melanie breathes out a laugh, puzzled. “It’ll just take me one minute-”
“No, Melanie, I-” Noah breaks off, nibbling his pierced lip, then nods at his bed, looking at her imploringly. “We need to.”
Melanie tilts her head to the side, surprised and a little confused, but not unwilling. She lets him pull her into his room, where they both shed their soaked clothes.
Melanie lets her eyes linger on him as he walks naked to the closet to get a towel. There are more tattoos, and – incredibly – more piercings than she previously knew about. She’s never had the chance yet to see the continuous flow of ink across his body, uninterrupted by any clothes. With that obscene fall of beautiful black hair spilling down over his shoulders, sticking to his damp skin.
She holds out her hand for the towel, then blinks in surprise when instead he sits down on his bed, firmly draws her over to stand before him, and towels her off himself. Taking his time, using it as a barely disguised excuse to slowly let his eyes and hands roam all over her.
She stands there blushing vividly, then lets out a gasp of startled laughter when he tosses the towel aside, catches her up in his hands, and spins her over him into the bed.
She swats indignantly at his chest, giggling, suddenly sprawled on her back. He smiles at her as he settles down by her side.
Very softly and gently, like he’s afraid to break her, he puts his arms around her. Draws her in close to him. He holds her to his chest, letting her snuggle up against his body. From the deep sigh of relief that he lets out, this is what he meant by we need to.
A surprising feature for a man like Noah, but Melanie doesn’t mind. She cuddles up deep into his arms, letting out a peaceful sigh, too. It’s the first time she’s really been here, but the word that comes to mind is home.
It’s a rich and soft feeling. So easy, so natural to lay still in his embrace, breathing with him. Eventually his inky fingers begin to slowly travel over her. Feeling her and kneading her, stroking her. Making her melt against him, until her legs are tangled up with his, and her chest is pressed to his chest, and her face is buried in his neck. Until they’re heart-to-heart.
Everything feels so good and dreamy that she’s not even really sure when she started kissing him again. It’s just another perfect sensation in the sea she’s swimming in. Before she knows it she’s spreading her legs to make room for him as he rolls on top of her, kissing her deeper. Slow, panting, hungry kisses, over and over again. She lets her mouth fall open to receive them, burying her hands in his hair.
Before it was frenzied and urgent, but now he’s taking his time. He slowly works his way down her body, like he wants to discover her piece by tiny piece. Drunk with desire, Melanie lays back and lets it happen, breathing hard. Melting in his hands, parting her thighs, permitting him to do all that he wants. Her body is on fire, her cheeks achingly hot.
She manages to sit up on her elbows as he starts kissing his way down the inside of her thigh. Her eyes catch his, and she blushes in sudden shyness, remembering who this is. It makes her a little self-conscious, to be revealed to him in ways she never has been before. Having him look at her this way, so intently, with such naked hunger in his eyes.
He hesitates, then smiles a little.
“You want to know how we do things in France?” he asks softly, then starts kissing his way down her inner thigh again, down and down. “Then relax, bébé… C'est bon pour ton éducation…”
Melanie falls back against the bed, letting out a soft moan.
It all happens so slowly, and she loses herself deeply in it, entranced. Tangling her fingers in his hair as he pushes her thighs back, arching to meet his touch. Sometimes she’s heaving for breath, moaning and squirming, curling her toes. Other times she lays motionless, her head flung back and her eyes closed, lost in sheer pleasure, helpless against the slow, recurrent flames of ecstasy licking their way up her trembling body. There are long gaps in her conscious thought, spells of pure sensation.
Then he’s on top of her again, breathing hard, and she’s clinging tightly to his naked body. She whimpers and he lets out a soft, stuttering groan as he finally sinks down between her thighs.
Panting against each other’s parted lips, the tips of their noses together, they both hold still for a long moment. Now and then he moves just a little, just enough to make her gasp and him shudder at the answering tremors of intense pleasure. Then both of them go motionless again, aside from the rise and fall of their hard-breathing chests. Each of them fighting not to move, as if that will make time stop passing, and let them stay like this forever. But both of them are growing more and more desperate.
He takes her braid around his fist again, pulls her head back, and slowly kisses his way down her throat. Pausing whenever she trembles, taking a second to regain his grasp on his self-control, then beginning again, until he reaches the hollow of her throat. He places a lingering kiss there, releases her braid, and draws away.
She opens her eyes and finds him with his head drawn back, watching her face with rapt eyes. She’s still gazing back into his as he finally begins to move.
Melanie loses herself again, smitten with such burning, all-consuming passion, in such a turmoil of pleasure that all she can do is cling tightly to him. Blushing crimson when he leans down and starts spilling panted words into her ear as he rocks back and forth, words sometimes broken up by a low moan, words she can’t understand, but even in French the meaning is perfectly clear.
Those words become gasped, inarticulate, his voice growing tight with pleasure. Melanie’s own rhythmic moans are becoming mounting cries of uncontrollable abandon, her cheeks on fire, her fingernails digging into his back. She can’t endure much more of this, and maybe he can’t, either. All of a sudden he begins shaking, his breath hitching in his throat.
With a choking gasp, he sinks her deep into the bed, pinning her down, his carefully slow pace turning desperate and frenzied all at once. The momentous wave of pleasure building in Melanie rushes all the way to its peak, and breaks. She lets out such a long, broken, wild cry of ecstasy that she barely recognizes her own voice. Noah’s moaning voice in her ear has all of her attention, anyways.
He sinks down on top of her trembling body, taking deep, ragged breaths. Silence falls over the bedroom.
Melanie quietly lays still, as if exhausted, but really feeling lost in a dream. Occasionally shuddering with sweet, deep aftershocks. Breathing in the scent of his skin, his hair.
She holds him where he is with her thighs, aching to keep him there forever. Her heart feels flooded with love, to the point she thinks it must be radiating up into him, suffusing him. She slowly pushes her hands down his back, savoring her new freedom to touch him as she wants. She turns her head and kisses whatever part of him is right next to her, which turns out to be the inside of his wrist. She lets out a long sigh of love and ecstasy. It breaks against his skin.
Melanie dazedly opens her eyes, blinking hard to clear her blurred vision. She looks up, and finds herself gazing into two wide eyes, their grey color lit from within with such brilliance that they’re practically two moonstones. He looks lost in happiness, in silent amazement.
He bites his lip when she looks at him. Very gently, he eases himself away and shakily leans back against the headboard of the bed, still trying to get his breath back. Melanie sits up facing him, pushing some escaped strands from her braid out of her face. Her eyes meet his again, and the blush in her cheeks darkens considerably.
The same thing happens to Noah, who nervously runs a hand over his mouth. Both of them are suddenly shy again, but they admit it with a quiet, sheepish laugh.
Melanie moves to sit snuggled against his side. He gives her a disarmingly sweet smile, grateful she did that.
He gathers her into his arms and draws her up close to him. They both let out a breath, then lean their foreheads together, lost in a deep, quiet reverie.
“I love you,” Melanie finally says, breaking the long silence.
Her hand is spread on his chest, so she feels his heartbeat stumble.
She draws back to look at him, then blinks in surprise. There’s such an expression of pure, glowing wonder on his face as he gazes at her. Smiling shyly, spellbound.
He blushes hard, quickly glancing away.
“Sorry,” he murmurs, trying to laugh it off. “I’m probably looking at you like you’re my first woman.”
“Yeah, you are,” Melanie giggles, trailing her fingertip down his jaw. “But I know that’s not true at all, so…?”
“Nothing, just…” He shrugs his shoulders, slowly dragging his knuckles down the curve of hers. “Always had a feeling it would be a lot different, with – with a girl I love. Who loves me.”
Mel bites her lip, her heartbeat fluttering. “Was it?”
Noah answers her with such a shout of laughter that he nearly startles her off of the bed. She bursts into giggles, swatting at his arm, and he beams at her, his eyes all silver.
“Been looking for that girl for a long time,” he murmurs, drawing her up close to him again. “And you were right fuckin’ there! Half the time you were riding up front with me when I was driving, Melanie! We’ve known each other since we were like fourteen goddamn years old, god fucking damnit, son of a fucking – I feel like an idiot!”
He sounds genuinely mad about it, mad enough to forget about which words are apparently inappropriate for her delicate lady’s ears.
“I feel happy,” Melanie giggles softly, resting her head on his shoulder.
He doesn’t answer. But she sees his cheek curl out in a smile, and a dimple appear at the corner of his mouth. That’s answer enough.
~~~~
Sometime later she realizes she’s fallen asleep, because something just stirred her awake. Noah’s sea-green blanket is on top of her. She put it there herself, based on how she’s holding it. And it’s slowly, gently being drawn away.
She holds perfectly still, almost holding her breath as Noah bares her completely, right down to her toes. She’s laying on her side, and she senses him sitting up behind her. She pretends to sleep, wondering what he’s doing. Waiting for whatever he’ll do next.
But – nothing happens. Minutes pass by in silence, unbroken by any sound or movement.
He’s just looking, she realizes, then blushes deeply.
Just when she’s starting to wonder if he fell asleep, a warm hand, strong and heavy, touches her shoulder. Very slowly and gently, his fingers travel down her side. Tracing her outline, and so carefully, as if she’s impossibly delicate. Taking his time, pausing often to savor each curve.
Halfway down her thigh he stops. With infinite care, he slowly turns her over, onto her back.
Then he takes his hand away, and seems to sit back to just look again. This time for so long that Melanie is sure he’s fallen asleep.
He proves her wrong on that by leaning over her, softly kissing her forehead, and gently covering her back up with the blanket.
Melanie listens to his soft footsteps on the carpet, then the sound of the shower running. She doesn’t move when she hears him come back to get dressed. She hears him zip up his jeans, close a drawer. Warm fingers touch her cheek, just for a moment.
Only when she hears him leave again, shutting the door softly after himself, does she let herself open her eyes. She pushes her hair out of her face and gazes dazedly up at the ceiling, her heartbeat hammering in her ears.
It’s ridiculous to think that Noah should be making her feel this shy. Like, shy to the point she can’t look at him. How can that be possible? And how can she not have gotten used to it yet, after so long spent feeling this way? Not even after they admitted they love each other? And it’s Noah Raunier, for god’s sake. The goofball got himself banned from the school cafeteria for two months for french fry crimes.
She may or may not already want him again. Something about the way he looked at her just now, what she felt in his gaze. A memory of his teenage self flashes into her mind, him grinning at her across the car, running a hand over his short black hair as he made some stupid joke that unfortunately made her laugh.
She touches a hand to the rumpled sheets where he was laying beside her.
Blushing to her ears, she darts out of his bed and rushes for the shower.
The soft rush of the white noise machine catches her attention when she comes back out of the bedroom a few minutes later, freshly showered. She peeks into the dark nursery and spots a familiar little lump, deeply asleep in her crib.
Mel knows she’s running the risk of waking her up, but she can’t help herself. She leans adoringly over her baby, her damp hair spilling down around her. Nik must smell her shampoo, because she drowsily opens one eye, turning an indignant, half-asleep glare up at Mel.
Mel giggles softly, her heart swimming with love. She kisses Nik’s grumpy little cheek and backs away to leave her to her nap.
She goes down the hallway, then freezes at the end of it. Raj’s voice is drifting up to her from downstairs. He’s home, which should come as no surprise. Hours must have passed since Mel got into Noah’s bed. Night is falling beyond the windows, deep and dark. The only plants she can see through them are leaves growing close enough to the house that sometimes they bluster against the glass.
Melanie drops her gaze to the side table in the hallway. Raj’s keys and jacket are there, smelling sweetly of fresh wood shavings and citrusy wood finish. Her fingers come to rest on the soft fabric, her heart swept with another, different wave of love. And a little bit of worry, too.
She hesitates, then rushes downstairs and peeks into the living room.
Noah is in the kitchen, resting his elbows on the counter, watching Raj cook dinner. Looking a little nervous, himself.
Raj is in the middle of telling him something, with his usual sweet, angelic smile on his face. Mel’s heart flutters again at the sight of him. His dark curls are windswept from a day of being outside, his skin glowing with the sunlight it kept, the sleeves of his paint-speckled shirt lightly hugging his muscled arms.
“-to carve your likeness, Nohea.” Raj sets down the spatula and holds up his hands, framing Noah in them. “I’d really love to do it. But something that nice-looking needs an absolute master if it’s gonna be captured properly, you know? If I could carve like Grinling Gibbons, I would totally do it.”
“What the fuck is a Grinling Gibbons, you freak?” Noah asks, half-laughing, grinning adoringly at Raj.
Raj pauses, his gaze resting on Noah’s face. Melanie recognizes that adoring look of pure love in his deep brown eyes, although she’s only used to seeing it directed at her.
Noah falls silent when he notices it, then slowly breathes out a soft laugh. “J’aime lorsque tu me regardes comme ça.”
“Mmm…” Raj narrows his eyes, thinking. “J’aime… love? Yeah, love. Was it – oh, it was you love me.” He beams proudly at Noah, pleased to have deciphered it, then further delighted with the message. “I love you, too!”
Noah blinks, then smiles so adoringly at Raj that it seems to throw Raj off. He stops what he’s doing, gazing back at Noah.
Raj hesitates, then silently leans down, and rests his forehead against Noah’s, gently cupping his jaw in his hand.
Noah freezes, blinking very hard, a rush of color going to his cheeks. He holds very still, then slowly lifts one hand from the counter and wraps his fingers around Raj’s wrist, closing his eyes.
Raj strokes Noah’s cheek with his thumb, then silently straightens up. Brushing a kiss onto Noah’s forehead as he goes. He turns back to the stove, blushing hard. But not blushing nearly as hard as Noah, who straightens up from the counter and just stands there behind Raj like he’s not sure what to do with himself. Staring at him with the same shy, dimpled smile he melted Melanie with earlier.
Mel watches them both with her fingers pressed to her lips, her heart swimming with love. She knows Raj and Noah are slowly figuring out how things are supposed to work between them. Based on what she’s seeing, that’s going pretty good, too. She’s never seen them do that before.
“Oh – hey, angel,” Raj calls out, giving Mel a warm, surprised smile as he spots her by the stairs. “I didn’t know you were home! Where were you hiding?”
“I – I wasn’t hiding,” she answers, fidgeting nervously with her braid. “I was… in Noah’s room.”
Raj stops in the middle of opening the fridge, staring at her. Noah holds very still by the counter, flashing Raj a worried look.
“Oh,” Raj says slowly, then bites his lip. “So – oh.”
He taps a fingertip on the top of the fridge door, then blurts out - “Is he better than me? In bed?”
Noah drops his head onto his arms on the counter, and Melanie blushes to her ears all over again.
“Raj!” she groans, pressing her fingers to her cheeks.
“I’m sorry, angel, but I do need to know if I should be trying to find some way to step my game up-”
“I told you I won’t be answering those kinds of questions!” Mel protests. “Besides, that’s a useless question, there’s not even an answer to it! It’s not a comparison like that, you two are so – so different. You do completely different things, in completely different ways…”
Mel trails off, realizing that the one thing she could see both of them doing in the exact same way was when Noah took the blanket off of her and just looked.
Noah has lifted his head, startled by her answer. So is Raj, evidently. They look at each other in surprise.
Noah arches an eyebrow at Raj. “What are you doing, bro?”
“I don’t know. What? All the – what are you doing?”
“Pretty sure all the – normal – moves?” Noah’s eyes widen in sudden alarm. “I thought?”
Raj looks alarmed, too. “No wait, brah, ‘cause that’s small kine worrying, because I thought that’s what I’m doing, so which one of us-?”
Melanie shakes her head at them, battling down a laugh. “That’s not what I mean! It’s not about – moves! And nobody here needs to worry for one second about stepping his game up!”
Raj and Noah grin at each other in relief, give each other a fist bump, then seem to realize what they just did. They both let out a little sputter of laughter at themselves.
Noah hesitates, still gazing nervously at Raj, asking him a silent question. Raj doesn’t seem to notice it, but he smiles lovingly back at Noah once he notices the grey eyes lingering on his face.
Noah blinks a few times, then lets out a soft, relieved laugh. Raj is clearly a little puzzled, but he affectionately tweaks a strand of Noah’s long hair before he turns away.
Noah watches him pick up the plates, his eyes all silvery, his lips dimpled at the corners. He picks up the drinks and follows him out into the living room.
“Thank god you honestly don’t mind, man,” he says, infinitely relieved. “Because now that I’ve had the experience I don’t know what the fuck I would do with myself if you wanted me to stop. I never had a high like that in my life, and I’ve tried out a lot of different highs.”
“Man, right?” Raj sighs dreamily. “It’s paradise.”
“Stop it, both of you!” Melanie laughs, blushing even deeper.
Raj brushes a kiss of greeting on her lips as he goes past, and Noah, after a brief pause, gives her one, too. Melanie smiles to herself, following them to the living room. This is all still pretty new, but parts of it already feel so easy.
She snuggles up between the two of them on the couch as Raj starts setting out the food. He must have lit the fire when he came home, since it’s already settled into a slow, lazy burn.
A roll of thunder grumbles off in the distance, and a gust of wind sends leaves skittering against the windows. Melanie leans back between her boys. Tired out, but full of relief and happiness. She’s never felt as immensely cozy and content as she does right now, snuggled up between them. She’s so close to both of them right now, in some deeply-felt way. Something tells her they’re both feeling the same thing, for her and for each other.
“Noah, I finished the little lion toy I was carving for Nik.” Raj checks the baby monitor, then starts handing out forks to everyone. “I was gonna ask if you wanted me to carve you a picture frame, now that I’ve got the time.”
Noah shoots him a puzzled look. “A picture frame? For what?”
“The photo of you and your sister that you put out in your room. The cute one of you two surfing as kids.”
“Oh.” Noah stops in surprise, then runs a tattooed hand over his face. “I – I don’t know, man… that’s nice, but sometimes I think I should just put that away. She doesn’t want to see me, so… it’s kind of pathetic to keep it out, right?”
Raj looks up sharply, then exchanges a startled glance with Mel.
“No, I don’t think it’s pathetic,” he says, taken aback.
“Yeah, if anything it’s sweet that you care about her so much,” Melanie protests earnestly. She hesitates, then adds – “Is that how you two ended up so close? From surfing together?”
She and Raj have been trying to get Noah to open up about this some more, and it’s been a very slow, delicate process. Noah doesn’t like to talk about what’s painful to him, generally speaking, which means he doesn’t want to talk about his sister. He’ll either give some single little piece of information, or deflect -
“My past remains shrouded in legend,” Noah answers dramatically.
Yep, just like that. But tonight… they’re all closer than they have been before, in some indefinable way.
Melanie leans into him like she did earlier, when they were in bed together. Noah looks down at her, blinking fast.
“Tell us?” she asks softly.
Noah hesitates for a long moment, then drops his gaze to his drink.
“I mean… I don’t know. It’s not like me and Noelle bonded over one single big thing. Guess we spent a lot of time together when we were little kids. When she was sick, and when she was getting better.”
Mel glances at Raj, and sees from his expression that he also didn’t know Noah’s sister was sick when they were kids.
“And we used to go to France over the summer, to see our dad and his side of the family,” Noah forges on. “Which – don’t get me wrong, it was really nice, and I do love it there, but also… everything’s just really different there. How you act, and what you do, and what you talk about. I’m used to it, I’ve been going since I was a baby, but you still feel, um – not as at home? And the other kids there already have their friends, so… all that comes together, sometimes, and it’s…”
He hesitates, searching for the right words.
“It’s hard to explain. But sometimes you – you can end up, um… feeling kinda lonesome and small, and always worried that you’re doing something wrong, and confused a lot of the time. I wish I was like Ralph, you know? He’s never confused about anything.”
Melanie blinks at Noah in surprise. She’s always known that Noah secretly held Ralph in very high esteem. When she pictures them together in high school, she sees Ralph staring forward with an aggressive expression, personally challenging the whole world, and Noah looking at Ralph with trusting, admiring eyes. Why, she never understood. Strange to finally get a little piece of the explanation after all these years.
But she’s thinking mostly about what he said before that, about feeling lonely and small.
“Then you come back here,” Noah says, clearing his throat, “But by then you’ve kind of adjusted in the opposite direction, and you, um – you end up feeling confused about everything here, too, for a little while. And you’re like, cool, I don’t actually one hundred percent belong anywhere. Or I did feel that way, ‘til I met Aiden and – Ralph.”
Raj and Mel exchange a fast, pained glance with each other behind Noah’s back.
“But the good thing was,” Noah goes on, still determinedly not looking at them, “Noelle was always there. That made a really big difference. We could always kinda be our little team. There, here, wherever. Just, um… not anymore.”
He falls silent for a moment. Raj and Mel just stare at him, their food left forgotten on the table.
Noah gives himself a shake, pulling a smile back onto his face.
“Anyways, why are we talking about this?” He hands Raj his food, then picks up his own. “Shouldn’t we be interrogating Raj about what the hell Grintlog Gertins is?”
Raj lets out a sputter of laughter. “I said Grinling Gibbons, dude!”
Noah stares at him blankly. “Isn’t that what I said?”
Melanie silently gets up and drifts to the kitchen. She leans her elbows on the counter and her chin on her palm, lost in thought. Letting her eyes rest on the view of the living room. There’s something very peaceful and soothing about watching Raj and Noah laughing and arguing on the couch, both of them warmed by the firelight. Especially with the first few taps of rain starting up against the windows, the thunder rumbling off in the distance. Her adoring eyes go from one of her boys to the other and back again.
She’s experiencing something with Noah that she’s only ever felt with Raj before. The more time she spends with him, the deeper the depths of her love for him. It grows just a little more every day. Every time she watches him with the baby. Every new thing he reveals about himself, on purpose or by accident. Every second she spends looking into those silver eyes. It’s to the point where she came across his fawn-colored lineman’s gloves in the garage, and found herself gently holding them, gazing down at them in a silent reverie of love. She was glad no one was there to see her blush violently when she realized what she was doing, fling the gloves down again, and flee into the house.
This love is always growing, slowly overwhelming her in the best way. Just like with Raj.
And… the deeper the love she has for Noah, the more it hurts her to see him hurting. He may be happier than she’s ever seen him lately, but she knows there are a few things still quietly hurting him.
She watches him from the kitchen, thinking hard. It’s too late to fix things up between him and Ralph. Even if Noah wishes things were different between them – and Melanie can tell that he does – there’s no way now.
If anything Noah seems afraid of Ralph, and Melanie doesn’t understand that, either. He’s scary-looking, yes, and he has an intimidating presence, but at the end of the day he’s some small-time local drug dealer, and Noah could easily knock him out in a fight if he really wanted to. Mel has a suspicion that the only reason Noah is the one who walked away with the black eye and injured thumb is because he didn’t fight back.
But for whatever reason Noah seems scared of what Ralph is capable of. And even if he wasn’t, he’s had enough.
Good. The last thing Mel wants is to have Ralph around here, back in Noah’s life. It tugs at her heart to think there will always be some deeply-felt, unspoken pain in Noah that she can’t do anything about, but that door is rightfully closed.
Noelle, on the other hand… is that door really closed?
Mel only has vague memories of her, mostly from early in high school. What she chiefly remembers is thinking that Noelle was super cool. In part because she was a pretty upperclassman with her own car, but mostly because she was absolutely fearless about scolding Ralph, Aiden, Noah, and Grant when they were being too stupid. She had this way of making them all look like abashed schoolboys standing in the principal’s office. She could be very stern, which made it exciting when she turned up in party mode, which she sometimes unpredictably would. They would all covertly grin at each other, knowing the ride home was guaranteed to be a wildly fun time with Noelle in that mood.
That’s what Melanie remembers from high school, though. It was a long time ago now, so who knows what Noelle is like these days? All Mel really knows is that at some point Noelle decided she was done putting up with Noah’s shit, and broke off contact.
Mel can’t blame her, remembering what Noah used to be like. She herself wouldn’t have wanted any contact with Noah before he changed. But he has changed, a lot…
Noelle understandably wouldn’t believe him if he told her so, but maybe – if someone else told her so? Maybe she’d at least be willing to hear him out.
Melanie’s thoughts go to the engagement ring Raj bought for Noah. Noah isn’t aware of it yet, but if he accepts it, then… it would be really nice to have Noelle there for the wedding.
She bites her lip, gazing across the room at Noah, then quietly slips her phone out of the pocket of her cardigan. She goes scrolling down through her contacts. There’s no Noelle Raunier, but – there it is, the contact as she saved it in high school. Noah’s Sister. Thank god for the late nights when they desperately needed someone to come pick them up from the party, and knew only one person who might yell at them, but wouldn’t get them all in trouble.
Melanie hesitates, then hits the message button and starts typing. Hey, Noelle! I’m sorry, I know this is so out of the blue, but…
She types out a full message, ending with: Would you want to get coffee sometime and talk about it, if you’re in Ketterbridge?
She reads it over, then hesitates again, her thumb suspended over the send button.
Raj and Noah both lift their smiling faces to her as she comes back into the living room. She drops down between them, then smiles in surprised delight when Noah pulls her feet onto his lap, and Raj simultaneously folds his arms around her waist. She lets out a cozy sigh, snuggling deeper into their collective warmth as the thunderstorm beats at the windows outside.
Part of her is nervous about what she just did, but at the same time – she feels certain it was the right thing.
She can’t help but think that Noelle might still have a place in her heart for her little brother. Her oldest surfing buddy, who was there for her when she was sick. Her teammate when they were far from home.
Melanie increasingly can’t hide how much she loves Noah. Hopefully Noelle will see that, and know that he’s changed.
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