Open - Part Sixteen
This episode is part of a larger story, Soft Touch. If you haven’t yet, you can go back and read it from the beginning right here.
I take Aiden’s hand, lead him through the chaos.
We go around the back of all the parked ambulances and firetrucks, avoiding the crowd of emergency personnel, heading for my car.
Aiden isn’t coughing like Roger was, which I hope means that his heat barrier kept the smoke back. But now that the adrenaline is wearing off, he’s taking staggering steps, his eyes half-closed, his broad shoulders bowed. As we get closer to my car, I have to release his fingers and wrap an arm around him, helping him stay up. He’s trying not to put his weight on me, but I can feel him starting to sink against my body. He just expended a lot of energy.
I think he needs to lay down, so I help him into the backseat. It feels ridiculous trying to fit a man built like Aiden into such a small space, but he curls up a bit, makes it work. I quickly pull off my flannel, tuck it under his head. Then I lean over him and take his jaw in my hands, so I can look into his eyes.
They’re tired, a little dazed, but the icy blue light that was there before is gone. No one else is in danger, which means… somehow, unbelievably, Roger must have finished cutting the firebreak all by himself. Those people who are trapped in their houses by the flames - they’re going to be alright.
I press a kiss onto Aiden’s forehead, then rush to the front seat, so I can get us out of here before people start paying attention to us.
Aiden reaches up from the backseat to touch my elbow as I put my car in gear. I put my fingers over his, still having trouble finding words. Struggling to keep my eyes on the road, when all I want to do is look at him.
The guy at the traffic barrier moves it out of the way to let us through, but he doesn’t even look at us. He’s shouting into his radio, grinning from ear to ear. Probably just got the news about Roger.
The fire grows more distant, the air grows clearer, and then we’re driving through beautifully forested roads, where nothing is burning.
I take the first turn I see, drive down a small, unpaved side road, and put the car in park. Willow trees shift gently in the wind on either side of us, providing a natural curtain to hide us from the main road.
Aiden stirs in the backseat when I open the door, trying to sit up. I get in, then gather as much of him as I can into my lap. I wrap my arms around him, hold him tightly.
Aiden lets out a long breath, presses a kiss onto my forearm.
“Hi,” he murmurs, and suddenly I’m on the brink of tears all over again.
“Hi,” I answer, my voice wavering, threatening to break. I start pressing kisses all over him, every part of him that I can reach without letting him go. “Hi. Hi. Hi.”
He huffs out a rumbling laugh, and it feels like the best gift anyone’s ever given me.
“Are you okay, Keane?”
“Am I okay? Oh my god, Aiden…”
He turns his head to look up at me, exhausted blue eyes filled with concern. “You’re bleeding.”
I look down at my hand, startled. I must have bitten my knuckles much harder than I realized when I was waiting for Aiden to come back.
I didn’t even feel it.
“Don’t - don’t worry about that,” I stammer. A tear falls from my face, makes a little dot in the ash on Aiden’s cheek. “I’m fine. Are you?”
Aiden nods, then breathes out an exhausted sigh. He snuggles his face into my stomach, tickling me through my shirt with his stubble. I gasp out a sputtering laugh, but I don’t push him away. I cradle his head in my arms, hold him closer.
“Aiden…” I can hear how thin and hoarse my voice is, but I know that Aiden can hear me now, without the onslaught of screaming noise in his way. “You were so amazing, babe, you - you walked through fire! I can’t fucking believe you did that, how the hell did you do that? We’ve never even practiced that before, and you just - did it!”
“Please stop,” he mumbles, speaking directly into my t-shirt.
“No, I absolutely will not stop, are you fucking kidding me, you idiot?” I sputter, and Aiden huffs out another soft laugh. I twist my fingers into his chestnut hair, staining them with ash. “You were incredible, I’m so fucking proud of you, and I’m so - so glad that you’re okay…”
My words begin to fracture apart. I stop to take in a trembling breath.
Aiden gives me a gentle squeeze, and I very briefly let him go to wipe the tears from my eyes. I take a few seconds to remember how to breathe, keeping my shaking hands on Aiden the whole time.
“I love you, Aiden.” I bow my head over him, curl around him, holding him as close as I can. “I love you, I love you, I’m so proud of you…”
He doesn’t answer, but I can feel him smiling where his face is pressed against me.
He lets out another long exhale, then goes still in my arms.
I know that he’s alright, just thoroughly knocked out. I can feel his breathing, his warmth. But still, I open the connection, so I can listen to his heart. Each beat I hear is a miracle worth everything to me.
I sway slightly in my seat, silently crying onto Aiden, keeping him wrapped in my arms. Grateful, so goddamn grateful just to hold him like this, to feel his breaths breaking against me.
I know that I need to text Gabby, explain that Aiden can’t come to work today. I also need to text Des and see if she’ll swap shifts with me, because there’s no way in hell I’m leaving Aiden’s side right now. And I need to get Aiden home, because he’s way too big of a guy to sleep in my tiny car. He’s going to wake up hurting everywhere. I want him to wake up feeling safe, warm, cozy.
But for now, I don’t do anything. I stick to simply holding him, listening to his heartbeat walking alongside mine. I need this, before I can pick myself up and go forward.
And maybe Aiden needs it, too.
Rest easy, Sugar Maple, I say softly, through the connection. You did so good.
My Guardian smiles in his sleep. I can’t see it, with his face pressed against me. But I can feel it through the connection, the glow and warmth and beauty of it.
The sweetest feeling in the world.
I bend over Aiden and press kiss after kiss onto him. Sending them to shower down on him in his dreams.
~~~~
I sit on the edge of my bed, looking at Aiden.
He’s got his face buried in the pillow, his arms tucked beneath it. All the ash came out of his hair when he washed it, and it feels good to run my fingers through familiar, chestnut softness. We both still smell like woodsmoke, despite how long we spent in the shower, and how long it’s been since we came home.
With the black and orange sky over the wildfire, I almost forgot how early in the morning it was that we were there. Now it’s late, and the stars are out.
Aiden only woke up long enough to make it up to my apartment, rinse off, and drink some water before he collapsed into my bed. He’s still deeply out.
I’ve been laying here with him, but I haven’t been able to sleep.
I’m discovering that rescues where I have to let Aiden do something dangerous alone are much harder for me to handle. I’d always rather be by his side, even if it means that I’m in danger, too. I’m struggling to recover from this one, much more than I have with any rescue we’ve done before.
But it’s all so, so worth it, to be with him.
Badly shaken up as I am - and I am - I’m finally starting to calm down. It took all day and all night, but I’m getting there.
It actually helps that I’m so tired. It forces me to breathe slowly, takes my brain out of overdrive. And gently touching Aiden in his sleep, holding him, kissing him, feeling the soft fabric of his sweatpants - that helps, too.
Aiden is too knocked out to wake up from any of it, and I haven’t opened the connection again. But I think he can tell that he’s getting a lot of love and attention, even in his sleep. He looks serene, happy. He turns his face into my palm when I stroke my fingers over his cheek. At one point I just started giving him a long massage, and now he looks practically melted into the bed.
I’m glad that he seems to like this, because I need it. Even just working my fingers through his hair has all the soothing effects of a warm cup of tea on a cold morning.
Aiden hasn’t said a word, and yet just contact with his body has helped me enough that I finally feel okay to leave him alone for a minute.
I brush a kiss onto his shoulder, then slip out into the quiet of my moonlit living room. I turn the TV on and put the volume very low. I don’t want to wake up the ghosts, who are asleep together in my armchair.
The news is still running footage about the wildfire, but it looks like they were filming from a different location than the base camp where we went. Thank god, because it means that Aiden and I stand no chance of ending up on TV.
I lean my hip against the kitchen counter, watching silently. Absently trailing my fingers over the bandage on my knuckles, the heist ring on my finger.
Rain is tapping against my windows, but also storming on the screen. The reporter is explaining that the firefighters, by cutting the firebreak, saved the people who were trapped from being reached by the flames. The fast-falling rain - which began in the late afternoon, and has yet to let up - is helping them get the rest of the blaze handled.
A soft knock at my door draws my attention. I blink, startled, only now realizing how absorbed I was in watching that terrifying fire finally go out.
I cross to the door, trying to remember if I invited Noah over and forgot about it with all the chaos, or something. But when I pull it open, it’s -
“Roger,” I say, caught by surprise.
He’s all showered, his black hair free of ash, the tattoos spiraling up his neck clearly visible again. Changed out of his uniform, just wearing jeans and a soft black t-shirt. Spangled with raindrops.
His body language tells me that he’s exhausted. But his eyes are very awake, focused on my face.
“Hey.” He runs a hand through his hair, and I see that he has a small bandage on his muscled arm, evidence of being on an IV. “Sorry to just show up like this.”
“Oh, it’s okay.” I lean against the doorframe, looking up at him. “Shouldn’t you be resting, though? How are you even on two feet, right now?”
“Yeah, I know.” Roger lets out a tired laugh. “Think I’ve still got some adrenaline in my system.”
I bite my lip, hesitating, nervous. I’m face to face with the one fear that hasn’t been soothed since we left the scene of the fire.
There’s no doubt about it. Roger saw Aiden do magic. And it’s possible that Luca did, too.
I had hoped that Roger would put this down to being confused and panicked, seeing things. But I don’t know what he thinks. He definitely remembers Aiden and me being there, because he’s talking about the fire without explaining himself.
He knows that I know exactly what he means.
I fold my arms over my chest, trying to look calm. “So - what’s up?”
Roger looks at me, then glances over my shoulder. “Is Aiden here?”
Oh, god. Where is this going? How much does he know?
“Mhm, he’s here,” I answer slowly. “But he’s asleep. Shouldn’t you go home and get some sleep, too?”
“Yeah, I will,” Roger says. “But we needed to see you guys first.”
“We?” I ask, then blink in surprise as Luca steps up behind Roger, slicking his rain-damp hair out of his eyes.
He’s changed out of his paramedic’s uniform, but he’s holding his EMS bag.
“Hey, Jamie,” he says warmly, and pulls me into a hug, like we’re old friends.
I hug him back automatically, even more baffled than I was before. “Um - hey, man!”
Luca releases me, then draws back. He’s shorter than Roger, but a little taller than I am. His light green eyes are gazing down at me, doing some kind of sweep.
Roger’s eyes stay on Luca, watching him affectionately.
“How are you feeling?” Luca asks me, setting his bag down on the hallway floor. “Breathing alright? Any wheezing, painful coughing?”
“Um - no, none of that.” I look to Roger for an explanation, but he’s still just smiling at Luca. “I’m feeling okay.”
Luca gently takes my hand in his, looks down at the bandages. “Is this a burn? You need to go to a burn center, if it is.”
“No, it’s just a-” Self-inflicted bite wound. “Um - scrape.”
“Oh, good.” Luca lets go of my hand, scoops up his EMS bag again, and smiles warmly at me. “Mind if I check on Aiden, too?”
“Uh…” I guess there’s no harm in that, so I step back to let Luca inside. “Sure. He’s asleep, though, and you’re definitely not gonna be able to wake him up.”
“It’s all good.” Luca waves a reassuring hand at me. “I hang out with unconscious people all the time. Oh - because of work, obviously.” He glances back at Roger, cringing. “That sounded weird.”
“He knows what you mean,” Roger laughs.
“I do,” I tell Luca, trying not to laugh, myself. “You’re fine, don’t worry. Bedroom’s the first door on the right.”
Luca smiles at me, leans up to pop a kiss onto Roger’s cheek, and heads down the hall.
“I like him,” I inform Roger, as Luca slips into the bedroom.
“Yeah, me too,” Roger says, in a voice that suggests this is a major understatement.
He hesitates outside, so I beckon with my head for him to come in, too. He does, closing the door after himself. I lead him into the kitchen, where he stops and places his hands on the counter. One of them - the one that had been missing the glove, when Aiden rescued him - is wrapped in a heavy white bandage.
I think about offering him a cup of tea, but I’d guess that he maybe doesn’t want something hot to drink, after the day he’s had. Instead, I get him a glass of water with a lot of ice. Something that will feel nice and cool on his hands.
“How are you feeling?” I ask, holding it out to him.
He accepts the glass from me, folds his fingers around it.
“I’m okay.” He lets out a heavy exhale, pushing his black hair out of his face. “I mean, I’m really fucking tired, and - this definitely sucks.” He holds up his bandaged hand. “But it’s not a third-degree, at least, and now I get some paid time off of work. Plus, I’ve got my own personal paramedic taking care of me, so. Can’t complain.”
He casts a quick, glowing look at my room, where Luca just disappeared.
I can’t help but smile, seeing Roger like this. It’s a little wild that he basically went through hell today, but he still looks happier than I’ve ever seen him.
“And,” he says, much more slowly, turning back to me, “I wouldn’t complain, anyways. I’m actually really grateful. I have a feeling that I got very lucky, today. Almost… impossibly lucky.”
He fixes me with a very serious, meaningful stare.
The smile drops off of my face as a burst of anxiety floods my chest. I try not to let it show in my voice.
“Well, that happens, right? All the time, it’s-”
“Hey,” Roger says quietly. “It’s okay, Jamie. I didn’t tell anyone.”
My heart stutters wildly. “Tell anyone what?”
“People don’t really believe this kind of shit from someone who’s just been through a scary, stressful experience.” Roger narrows his eyes at me. “And that’s fair. Situation like that, your mind plays all kinds of tricks on you.”
“Totally,” I agree immediately. “Must be, like-”
“But,” Roger continues, looking right into my eyes, “I know what I saw.”
My racing heart comes to a complete stop. I stare at Roger, wide-eyed, frozen.
He looks down at his burned hand, takes a breath.
“I also know,” he says, speaking very softly, “That I would have died today, if it wasn’t for Aiden. And, I think, if it wasn’t for you, too.”
I struggle to get some air into my lungs, to speak. “Roger… please, you - you can’t-”
Roger’s eyes flit up from his hand, back to my face.
“Jamie. Come on.” He gives me a small smile, like I’m doing something ridiculous. “You must realize that I’m damn sure not going to tell a soul, after what you two did for me.”
I don’t know what to say. I just stare at Roger, stunned.
“I don’t understand it,” he says. “And I - I’m not going to ask. Luca saw, too. Not all of it, but enough. We decided that we’re just grateful for it. We don’t need to know more. And we decided that if you and Aiden ever need our help, doing whatever the hell it is you two are up to… we’re here. No questions asked. Alright?”
I stare at Roger for probably a solid thirty seconds of silence.
At a loss for words, I reach across the counter and take the fingers of his uninjured hand. Give them a soft squeeze.
Roger gives me a tired smile, squeezes me back, and lets me go.
We both take a second to pull ourselves together.
“I’m so happy for you, Roger,” I finally manage. “You and Luca, you seem really good together.”
Roger smiles, looks down at the bandage on his hand again. I have a feeling that I know who put it there.
"You know," he murmurs, "When shit was really starting to look bad for me out there, when I - when I thought that I wasn't gonna make it out… all I could think of was Luc. Literally, he was all I could think of. I love him so fucking much, I just..."
He takes a shaky breath, runs a hand over his arm. I stay quiet, waiting until he speaks again.
"I never really got why you broke up with me, even after you explained it,” he says, after a moment. “Saying there was someone else out there for me, someone who would make me feel like I was walking above the world, not on it, all that. But I get it now. I really, really do. Since him, I - I get it."
Somehow, even after everything that just happened, I find myself smiling - no, beaming at Roger.
“Who has his head in the clouds now, hmm?” I ask, and Roger shakes his head, dazed.
“Me, I guess? What in the fuck, honestly.”
He laughs, and I laugh, too. Genuine laughter, and coming from both of us.
“You seem happy, too,” he says, when we fall quiet again.
“I am. And not only because of Aiden.” I smile at him, tipping my head to the side. “I finally feel like I can come through on the promise I made you, Roger.”
He raises an eyebrow at me, confused. “I - don’t remember you making me any promises, to tell you the truth. Which one are you talking about?”
“That we could still be friends.”
Roger blinks, breaking into a warm, surprised smile. I return it, then look up as Luca steps out of my room. He crosses to Roger, slips an arm around his broad shoulders. Roger leans into him, closing his tired eyes.
“Aiden is fine,” Luca tells me, smoothing his hand up and down Roger’s arm. “It’s - extremely shocking, and it makes no kind of sense, but he’s fine.”
I already felt sure that he was, but for some reason, hearing this feels good. I give Luca a relieved smile.
“Thank you for checking on him. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem.” Luca presses a kiss onto Roger’s temple. “Anyways, we should go home. He needs some sleep.”
He’s right. Roger is clearly fading fast.
I show them to the door, then snag Luca’s arm. He stops, turns to look at me.
“Thank you,” I say softly, hoping he can see how much I mean it. “For not telling anyone.”
“You’re thanking me?” Luca stares at me, his pale green eyes very wide. “After you guys saved Roger’s life?”
“You don’t get it, Luca, it’s…” I glance back at the bedroom, where I know Aiden is still asleep. “You and Roger not telling anyone what you saw, that’s - that’s life-saving, too.”
Luca has a very sweet, open smile, and he fixes me with it now.
“Well, we’re both first responders,” he tells me. “That’s kind of like, our whole thing.”
I laugh, and he smiles again, gives me a little wave. I wave back at him, and Roger mumbles a sleepy goodbye.
Luca slips an arm around Roger’s waist as they head for the stairs, making sure he stays steady.
I watch Roger and his Companion Plant step out together into the rain. Then I turn around and go back inside, so I can take care of mine.
Want to leave a comment? I would love it if you did, and you can do so on the Tapas episode!