Magical Spice - Part Sixteen
This episode is part of a larger story, Soft Touch. If you haven’t yet, you can go back and read it from the beginning right here. This episode is NSFW and contains mature content.
I didn’t dream before, when I was in that strange place between asleep and awake. This time I’m really sleeping, and sleep comes with a dream for me.
I’m walking on the sand of a sunlit beach, faced with the ocean waves, the vast sky. I’m making my way towards someone. A boy, made small by the distance, far off down the beach. He’s sitting alone on the sand, close to the water, with the breeze stirring slowly through his hair. His arms are wrapped around his knees, his head down. He doesn’t see me coming.
There’s a mixture of immense nervousness and curiosity and wonder in me. It grows stronger and more powerful the closer I get to him. But so does the pull of him, drawing me like a comet pulled into orbit. Like there’s some invisible thread between us, tugging on my heart, leading me right to him…
I’m gently pulled up from my dream before I can get any closer. I don’t want to go - not before I can reach him - but at least this is nothing like my last waking up. This time it’s easy, and quiet.
Familiar little sounds are what touch my awareness first. The whispering rustle of the leaves in the garden outside. The click of a closet door opening and closing, followed by soft, heavy footsteps.
The summer breeze feels nice against my face, rich and green and cooled off by the rain, but my body is snuggled up warmly in the bed. I stretch out my legs, and feel that someone pulled a blanket up over me while I slept.
I slowly sit up, knuckling my eye, yawning deeply. I push the blanket off, then push my hair out of my face, blinking hard to clear my sleep-blurred vision. The footsteps I was hearing pause, then draw closer.
I open my eyes and look up into a sea of soft, tropical blue. My heartbeat staggers over itself, instantly waking me all the way up. God, Aiden’s eyes. They’re so beautiful that it’s almost difficult to look into them directly.
I draw my knees up to my chest, and Aiden sits down on the bed by my feet.
He looks - different. There’s definitely a raw, glowing tenderness to his face, lingering from all the tears. But his broad chest is rising and falling slowly with his calm breaths, and he’s not fidgeting the way he was before. His warm blue eyes are clear, and his gaze is steady, unwavering.
He looks into my eyes, allowing a small smile to turn up his mouth.
“Hi,” he says quietly, his deep voice much more composed than I’ve heard it yet.
“Hi.” I resist the sudden, inexplicable impulse to lean forward and plant a kiss on his mouth, but only barely. My heart is fluttering along like a butterfly helplessly caught in the wind. “What time is it?”
“It’s afternoon, and we went to sleep around dawn, so… we got some rest.” Aiden winces, tipping his head to the side. “Our sleep schedules are pretty much fucked, though.”
I breathe out a helpless laugh. “Okay, one problem at a time. Let’s, um - ignore that, for now. File it under, totally fixable and not concerning problems we’ll definitely deal with responsibly later.”
“Alright,” Aiden laughs softly, biting at his lip, a sweet smile glowing deep in his eyes. “Whatever you say, Keane.”
My heart is so infinitely, blissfully warm when he looks at me like that. Sunstruck.
“Noah and Ralph came to see you again,” Aiden rumbles quietly, “But you looked like you needed some sleep, so I didn’t let them wake you up.”
I’m not sure who Noah and Ralph are, but it’s nice to think that people were worried about me, enough that they came to see me. I give Aiden an answering smile, pushing the blankets aside as I sit up more.
“Aw! That’s nice. I guess I’ll see them once you’ve done your magic on me?”
Aiden takes a deep breath, then gives me a nod. “Yeah. That’s right.”
I let out a soft breath, relieved that Aiden hasn’t changed his mind about the promise he made me.
“Is your magic restored?” I ask hopefully.
“Mhm.” Aiden holds up a fingertip, lets it briefly glow with radiant golden light to show me. “Too much, actually. I was just about to go for a run down the river. Burn off some magic before I try to use any on you. I know you’ve forgotten, but the problem with my magic tends to be: too much.”
I drag my astonished eyes up from the place where there was magic shining right in front of me a second ago. Not without some difficulty.
“Okay… and going for a run by the river is going to help you with that?”
“Not by the river, on the river. You’ll understand once I get back and put you right.” Aiden holds out a hand, offering it to me. “Can I just open the connection for a second before I go? I want to see how your energy feels. It might be different with your memories out of action.”
I have no idea what Aiden means, but I’m not going to turn down an excuse to put my hand in his. I place my fingers on his palm, and he takes them gently.
Frosty blue magic sparks, then swirls to life in his eyes. I hold my breath, waiting for something magical to happen, but - nothing happens at all.
Aiden blinks a few times, staring at our hands, his dark eyebrows slowly furrowing.
“That’s weird, why isn’t…?” He slows down as some realization dawns over his face, then lets out a heavy breath, blinking the magic out of his eyes. “Oh, of course. The connection won’t open right now.”
I take my hand back from him, wishing I had a reason not to. “What do you mean?”
Aiden bites his lip, searching for an explanation.
“Basically… you and I have a unique ability to open a connection between us, a current that magic and energy can move through. But our connection is based on trust, and you don’t trust me, because - you don’t remember me.”
“No, what?” I protest indignantly, taken aback. “I trust you! I honestly do, I want you to try it!”
“No, I know,” Aiden quickly clarifies, wincing. “I’m sorry, I’m doing a bad job of explaining it. The kind of trust required for our connection is something really rare and special. It’s - complete trust, and you don’t have that for me at the moment. Which is totally understandable, to be clear! It’s a good thing, actually. There’s a part of you protecting yourself, that’s what it means. Also means I can’t open the connection, though.”
“Oh.” I bite my lip unhappily. “Is there something I can do about that?”
Aiden shakes his head, looking truly sorry for it.
“No, I don’t think so. And if I’m being honest, I don’t think I should attempt any magic on you without the connection. That’s what I use to channel it, to make sure I’m not using too much.”
My heart sinks, and I can barely keep the crestfallen look from my eyes. “So… does that mean we can’t try it?”
“No,” Aiden says firmly. “That’s not what it means. You were right. We have to try it.”
I was battling the rising sense of panic in my chest, which hit me as soon as it started to sound like Aiden wasn’t going to be able to do his magic on me. I thought maybe he’d be panicking, too, given that was our only plan. On the other hand I thought he might be relieved, given how nervous he was about trying this.
Instead he’s sitting there calmly and quietly, staring off into the middle distance. I get the sense that he’s slowly, carefully turning the situation over in his mind.
“Okay, I… I just need some more time to think,” he murmurs, his blue eyes coming back to my face. “I’m gonna go on my run, it’ll help. Do you mind? I won’t be gone for long.”
“No,” I answer, crinkling my nose up at him. “Although it’s ludicrous to me that something as stressful as jogging could ever help somebody think.”
Aiden blinks, then gives me a look of immense affection. He looks like he wants to say something, then like he wants to laugh, but in the end he silently gets up from the bed, casts me a quiet smile as he goes to get his sneakers.
Oh, he looks good in his running shorts and athletic shirt. He fills them out perfectly, so that there’s just a little tension to the fabric where his biggest muscles stretch it. A deep blush rushes up to my cheeks as he bends over to pull on his socks.
“Do you think there’s a way to open the connection, even with my memories missing?”
Aiden takes another deep breath, turning back to face me as he loops his headphones around his neck.
“There has to be. I’ll think of one.” He reaches out to gently mess up my hair again, giving me a small, sad smile. “Hey. Thank you for helping me keep my head above water earlier, when I was freaking out. I was drowning, but - should’ve known you wouldn’t let that happen. Even given the state of things.”
I blush deeper, not sure what to say.
“But it’s my turn now,” Aiden murmurs, his deep, soft-spoken voice full of determination. “My turn to take care of you. You just stay here and don’t worry. I’ll be back soon, and by then I’ll have thought of something.”
The steadiness of his voice is deeply warming and soothing, calming all of my fears. I find myself just giving him a shy nod of agreement, wrapping my arms around my knees.
He starts to lean down towards me, stops himself, and backs up towards the door.
“Don’t let Luna trick you into thinking I haven’t fed her,” he tells me, knotting the laces of his sneakers. “If you’re still hungry, though, help yourself to whatever you want. There’s leftover kunafa.”
“Unless there’s like ten plates of it, there’s not enough,” I sigh dreamily, remembering the taste.
Aiden breathes out a startled laugh. “Yeah, okay. I’ve never met anyone capable of eating ten plates of kunafa in one sitting.”
I point to my own face. “Until now.”
Aiden presses his lips tightly together, but I can see the laughter in his eyes.
“House is yours, alright? Feel free to look around. Maybe something will jog your memory.”
“Okay, sounds good. Have a nice run. Be careful.”
I said that automatically, without thinking. Aiden pauses in the doorway. But he has his back to me, so I can’t see anything about his expression before he silently slips out into the hallway.
Overwhelmed with a sudden burst of nervousness, I wait in the bed until I hear the door close after him downstairs. He makes me painfully shy. It’s almost too much to bear.
When I’m sure he’s gone, I head out of the bedroom and out into the upstairs hallway. I immediately nearly step on the grey cat, who must have slipped into the house at some point. She matches my pace as I walk, weaving around my feet, purring loudly and trying to scrub her face against my legs.
“I’m guessing you’re the one I’m not supposed to let trick me?”
She gives me a piteous, pleading look, like - I have been starving for centuries.
“Yeah, must be you,” I laugh, as she follows me down the stairs.
The kitchen is drenched in sunshine, suggesting the rain came to a stop a while ago. I help myself to some more coffee, and then, following an impulse, cross to the back door and let myself outside.
I step out into a luscious green garden, rich and heavy with overgrowth. The air out here is fragrant with the smell of earth, of leaves, of summer. The afternoon sky above me is all in hues of apricot and Tuscan orange, beginning to grow deeper with the first signs of sunset.
I wander across the old garden, trailing my fingertips over the leaves. I come to a gradual stop in the back corner, my eye catching on something. There’s a gardening step stool left in a shady nook by the mossy brick wall, half-hidden among the ferns. Nothing else has been left out in the garden, but the step stool is slightly sunken into the earth, like it’s been left there for a long time.
I cave to my curiosity and get up onto the little wooden stool. Standing on the top step, I’m just tall enough to peek over the garden wall. I can see meadowy hills beyond, sloping down to the beginnings of a woodland. In one of the more distant meadows, my eyes find and fasten on a sleek, fast-moving figure.
Aiden, running down towards the glint of the river, his face turned up to the sunlight.
From where I’m standing, I can easily watch him until he disappears into the trees. I don’t mean to actually do that, but it just sort of happens. Watching Aiden run is - mesmerizing. There’s a captivating grace and power to his movements, as if he caught the wind and started to fly on it. He effortlessly springs over a boulder in his way, then slips into the woods. The last thing I see of him is a flash of golden sunlight on his back.
So strange. Why does watching him run away make me want to run after him?
I step back down into the garden and turn to gaze up at the house. Aiden told me I was free to explore it, but… I like the garden a lot. Besides, he said he wouldn’t be gone long.
I sit down in the cool green shadows of a tree, lean my back against the trunk. My hands spread on the earth at my sides, resting on the springy moss.
A soft chiming noise drifts across the garden, carried on the slow breeze. I’m not sure what it is, but it’s a serene little sound. Birds are chirping overhead, too. Their tiny, warbling songs spill down from the tree boughs, like the blossoming flowers spill down from their branches in soft, hanging clusters.
The sunlight slowly grows hazier around me, the sky shifting to a deeper and richer color, more tangerine.
Surprisingly relaxed and peaceful, I sit curled beneath the tree for some time. Lazily stroking the grey cat, who lays comfortably stretched out in the grass beside me.
It occurs to me, when I start wondering about whether Aiden is on his way home from his run, that the step stool is perfectly positioned to help answer that question. Anyone who wanted to peek over the wall to check and see if Aiden is coming back could do that from there. Is that what it’s there for?
I pull myself from my thoughts and stand up, brushing the grass off of my jeans. I’m tempted to go see if I can find that little kitchen garden I spotted from the upstairs window. I walk around to the side of the house, turn the corner, and freeze right where I am, blinking hard.
Did I just see something tiny go scurrying away from the bowl of buttermilk on the kitchen windowsill?
I’m not sure. If there was something, it’s gone now. I guess it was nothing more than a flash of movement. Could’ve been a trick of the light, or the play of the shadows against the wall?
I stand there staring uncertainly, then whirl around when I hear the back garden gate click open.
Aiden lets himself into the garden, slick with sweat, rosy-cheeked from his run, his bronze skin glowing with the fading sunlight. His athletic shirt is clinging softly to the hard curves and ridges of muscle beneath, and his hair is falling down to kiss the arch of his eyebrow.
He smiles when he spots me at the edge of the garden. I eagerly, automatically cross it to meet him halfway, then stop just short of him, realizing what I’m doing.
“Hi,” he says softly.
“Hi!” I tilt my head back to look up at him hopefully. “How was your run? Did you think of something?”
Aiden hesitates, then nods. “Yeah, think maybe I did.”
I narrow my eyes slightly, trying to get a read on Aiden’s expression. He doesn’t exactly look panicked again, but there is some kind of renewed nervousness about him. I can hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes, which keep darting away from mine.
“Don’t know if it’ll work, though,” he adds.
“What is it?”
“I… you know what? Think it’s better if I just show you. Talking is your strong suit, not mine. I never fully get across everything I mean.” He shoots me an embarrassed look beneath his long lashes. “I’m pretty much incomprehensible as soon as it’s about anything important.”
I let out a startled laugh, shaking my head. “No, I don’t believe that.”
A smile flickers across Aiden’s face, but he answers - “You should.”
“I mean, I won’t, but…” I shrug my shoulders, giving him an encouraging smile. “Alright. If you think it might work, I’m game. Let’s try it.”
Aiden nods nervously, then tosses his head in the direction of the house. “Just let me rinse off. I’m a sweaty mess.”
He actually pulls off sweaty mess exceptionally well, but I’m not about to say that. I bite my lip, then follow him back into the house.
“Not surprised I found you in the garden,” he murmurs.
“Can you blame me?” I take one more deep breath of summer air before I close the door after us. “It smells so nice out there.”
“I know.” Aiden casts me a quick little smile over his shoulder. “That’s what you smell like, pretty much all the time.”
I blink hard and fast, glad he’s not looking at me. “Oh - do I?”
“Mhm. That’s your garden. Might seem effortlessly gorgeous out there, but you put in hours and hours of work to make it that way.”
I drop my gaze to the tiny bottled plant on its length of leather around my neck. It does look like something that would grow out there. My garden…
The garden outside is my garden. That sits perfectly right with me, feels like a piece fitting exactly into place.
I smile gratefully at Aiden’s back as I follow him upstairs. I know that he’s hoping to fix my memory soon, but it’s nice to have some idea of who I am in the meantime.
“I won’t be long,” Aiden tells me, then slips off to the shower, his change of clothes bundled in his arms.
I watch him go, wondering why he suddenly seems so nervous again. I guess he’s going to attempt some magic on me, and I know how he feels about that, but he seemed way less panicked about that idea when we talked earlier. The opposite, actually. He was calm, determined. So… I don’t get it.
I sit down on the bed to wait for him, but eventually I get up and start aimlessly pacing around. I’m getting a little nervous, too. An indefinable, hot, full-body restlessness is dancing through me, in sharp contrast to the sunlit peacefulness of the bedroom. The curtains are stirring drowsily in the breeze, turning orange as they pick up the sunset light. The leaves outside are rustling serenely, slowly. But I can’t seem to hold still.
I stretch my arms up over my head, arching my back, then swiftly turn around when I hear the bedroom door eased open.
The sunlight is colored like stained glass by its fall through all the multicolored windows. Aiden quietly slips into the room and stops in the multicolored glow, looking at me.
His bronze skin is a little damp from the shower, holding a sunglow from the run he went on. His coppery chestnut hair is all damp, too, soft and messy. A few droplets have fallen from it to leave little spots on the soft black fabric of his shirt, spangling his massive shoulders.
Oh, god. Even without the very specific, wild, unexplained feeling that he stirs in me, I’d be a nervous wreck around any hunky guy as unbearably sexy as he is.
He also looks shy, before our eyes even meet across the bedroom.
He hesitates by the door, then slowly closes it after himself. I wait expectantly, gazing at him with curious eyes as he comes to stand before me. I draw in a deep breath when he gets closer. He smells like summer sunlight, like the meadow he was running through, and like that woodsy green scent I smelled on him before.
I gaze up at him, waiting. He swallows hard, several times.
“Alright, lemme try to explain just a little.” He pushes a hand through his hair, taking a second to choose his words. “I know you can’t access your memories right now, but I didn’t have to tell you how to shower or eat, or anything like that. Means you still remember how to do everything you already know how to do, right?”
“Yeah, I think so.” I tilt my head to the side, not sure where Aiden is going with this. “I haven’t tried to do anything too complicated yet, but it hasn’t been a problem so far.”
The muscle in Aiden’s jaw flexes. He pauses for a long time, then says -
“Okay. Here’s the thing. Problem is, there’s some part of your mind that’s afraid to trust me all the way. Makes sense, because your mind doesn’t remember me. But maybe… you remember me in another way, and maybe that can be enough to convince you to let your barriers down.”
I blink hard, then blush a little. Something in Aiden’s voice, in the way he looked at me when he said that…
“I don’t, um - I’m sorry, what are you saying?”
“That maybe…” Aiden is looking anywhere but at me, his eyes darting around over my head. “Even if your mind doesn’t remember me, your body still does.”
Oh, my god.
“What?” I draw back, wide-eyed, my cheeks on fire. “Hey, okay, man, I don’t know what you’re talking ab-”
Aiden breathes out a soft, pained laugh. He holds up his hand, to show me that our fingers are woven together.
I was holding Aiden’s hand the whole time that we were talking. Without realizing it. It felt so natural that I didn’t even notice, although… now that he’s shown me, I vaguely remember that I’m the one who took his hand, not the other way around. As soon as he got close enough for me to reach him.
I stare down at our intertwined fingers in stricken silence, then look sharply back up at Aiden, my heart suddenly racing. He very slowly lifts his eyes to meet mine, to show me the blazing, unreadable expression in them.
“You don’t have to go through with this, if you don’t want to,” he says quietly, squeezing my fingers. “Stop me if it doesn’t feel right to you. I just… I just think it’s worth a try.”
I stare up at Aiden curiously, asking a million questions with my eyes. The answer comes silently, as I’m finding it often does with Aiden.
He uses his grasp on my hand to pull me closer to him. Lets my fingers go. Takes my waist in both of his huge, strong hands, then slowly leans down until his nose is brushing mine.
Words fail me. I can only gaze up at him in astonishment until his lips meet mine, and my eyes flutter closed.
It’s a gentle, lingering kiss, but it knocks the breath right out of my lungs. If this was the magic Aiden was planning to do, I wouldn’t be surprised. That’s what it feels like, like magic. Beautiful and vital, flooding me through with an answering rush of mind-melting passion that sweeps me up completely. There’s nothing, nothing I wouldn’t do for more of this.
My hands move to take two tight handfuls of Aiden’s shirt. My body melts against his, my pulse staggering and stumbling wildly. My heart is on fire, set alight by how it feels to be kissed by him.
Aiden slowly, gently breaks off the kiss, then pulls back, blushing and nervous. He peers searchingly down at me, then blinks hard when he sees the stunned, beaming smile on my face. He begins to break into a shy smile, too, opening his mouth to ask me something.
I pull him back down to me before he can say anything, my hungry eyes lingering on his lips. We need to do that again, right now.
The second kiss is even better than the first. That green scent that always clings to him - vetiver, I think - envelops me completely. Intensely familiar. Intoxicating.
Aiden has been lingering, playing with my mouth, teasing, tempting, tasting. Now he coaxes my lips further apart and deepens the kiss, sinking his tongue into my mouth. Lighting up my veins with uncontrollable fire. My pulse throbs through my whole body in slow, deep reverberations, but my heart is racing, somersaulting, flying. My hand slips up the back of Aiden’s neck to grasp a handful of his hair, and his arms lock around me.
I think Aiden intended for this to be a chaste little kiss, but it’s not that anymore. It’s hot and sweet and dirty, and I’m biting his full, soft lower lip as he slides his hands up the back of my shirt, pressing me even closer when I rub myself up against him.
Aiden suddenly pulls back, panting a little. He looks startled at having let himself get so carried away. He gives himself a shake, then catches my chin between his thumb and his knuckle, holding me still so he can look down into my wide, dazed eyes.
“Jamie?” he breathes softly, hopefully. “Did you remember?”
“No,” I stammer, also panting. “Was I supposed to?”
“Wh-?” Aiden freezes, bewildered. “No, I was just hoping I could open the connection. It didn’t work, but then you kissed me back like that, I… I thought you remembered somehow.”
“Oh… no, I’m sorry. I’ve got nothing.” I bite my lip, looking up at him with hopeful eyes. “That doesn’t mean we have to stop, though, right?”
Aiden’s startled blue eyes get even wider.
“Wait, you’re saying you’re just - up for this? Even though in your mind we met this morning?”
“I - whatever, dude!” I laugh, still lost in a daze of happiness, holding onto him to stay on my feet. “I’m a grown fucking man, I can do what I want! And you’re the one who kissed me!”
“Little demon,” Aiden laughs, staring down at me with perfectly round eyes. He blinks hard, struggling to pull himself together, blushing deeply. “Guess… I didn’t mean for all this, but… if it might work, guess we could-”
I can’t resist, so I roll up onto my toes to kiss him again, my hands spreading on his muscled chest.
Aiden’s breath hitches in his throat. He responds instinctively, locking his powerful arms around me. As soon as our lips meet again, that fire leaps up in me. Hungry, desperate fever spills through me, saturating my body with desire like I never imagined.
We go staggering backwards towards the sunlit bed. Aiden roughly pushes me down onto it, and I catch his shirt, pulling him down with me. He lands between my legs, kissing me deep into the mattress. My hands slide up his muscled back, pushing his shirt up until I can pull it over his head.
He sits up on his knees to let me take it off of him. I toss it aside, then sit up to take a look.
Oh, god. I’m so tortured with anguished shyness at the sight before me that I want to curl up into a ball. My wide eyes do a slow drag over every subtle little detail. Aiden’s huge, powerful shoulders, his finely-shaped limbs, the graceful slope of his waist. Those hard ridges of muscle at his hips. The soft, dark line of fine hair trailing up from his jeans, which sit low on his hip bones.
The glow of his bronze skin. The vivid sunset light on his rich stubble beard. That smoky look in his blue, blue eyes.
I stare up at him in dumbfounded silence, genuinely rendered speechless by his beauty for a moment.
“Holy shit, man,” I laugh nervously, pushing a trembling hand through my hair. “Did Tom of Finland draw you, or what?”
Aiden was reaching for my waist, but this makes him stop, staring at me incredulously.
“Wh-? I’m sorry. Hold up a sec. You’ve forgotten literally everything, but you still remember Tom of Finland’s drawings?”
“Guess…” I tilt my head to the side, equally surprised. “Yeah, I do. Huh. Maybe my brain saved that as some kind of core memory? Necessary to function? I know it, like - how I still know what a pancake or a chair is, or whatever.”
Aiden widens his eyes at me, trying and failing to suppress an amazed laugh.
“Wow, okay,” he says, his huffing laughter tripping over every word. “That’s - we’re, um - we’re gonna talk about that once you’ve got your memories back.”
His laughter is infectious, and I find myself laughing, too. Aiden’s blue eyes glow with gentle warmth at the sound of it.
He catches my shirt in his fingertips, drags it up over my head. As soon as he’s tossed it to the floor, he hooks his elbows beneath my knees. His hands catch me by my hips and wrench me closer to him, a movement that forces me to fall back onto my elbows with my legs spread.
I let out a staggered gasp, gazing up at him with hungry, hazy eyes. Breathing hard, with an open-mouthed smile turning up my lips. I’m wildly nervous and wildly excited, in giddy disbelief that this is happening. I’m sure my breathless eagerness shows all over my face, given how long Aiden stops to stare down at my expression.
The look in his eyes takes my breath away.
I’m honestly made too shy by it to say anything, so instead I fall onto my back and stretch my arms out invitingly for Aiden. But he just holds perfectly still, staring hard at me.
“Fuck,” he rasps hoarsely, his chest rising and falling faster.
“What?”
“Nothing, I just - you’re so…” Aiden makes a vague gesture at all of me, wincing like he’s in real pain. “C’mon, you know. Especially when you’re making eyes at me the way you are, Little Demon - stop that for a second, just let me calm down for a second - I’m serious! Knock that look off your freckled face!”
I let out a bewildered laugh, trying my best to keep up. “What are you talking ab-?”
“You’re hot as fuck, man!” Aiden closes his eyes and screws his face up, the agonized tone of his voice suggesting that I violently tortured this information out of him. “I’ve never totally gotten used to it in the first place, to tell you the truth, and now it’s like you don’t even know me, it’s just - you’re making me nervous all over again! Like we’ve never done this before, like this isn’t our bed!”
“Wait wait wait, me?” I let out an incredulous laugh, staring up at Aiden in flustered disbelief. “I’m the one making everybody nervous by being hot as f-?”
I break off abruptly, my eyebrows drawing together. Wait a second.
All over again. Like we’ve never done this before. Our bed.
My gaze falls to the golden band around my finger. I’ve been wondering… It’s on the wrong hand, but maybe I did that by mistake, in my confusion when I first woke up?
“Aiden… are you and I m-?”
“I’m your boyfriend,” he blurts out, all in a rush. “We’re together.”
That’s not exactly what I thought, but it’s still pretty fucking incredible. Holy shit.
“Nice work, me!” I laugh happily, unable to stop myself. “How’d I pull that one off? What the hell did I do?”
Aiden blinks hard, then huffs out a startled laugh.
“You didn’t do anything. You were just yourself. Honestly.” He hesitates, then adds shyly, more quietly - “Minute I met you, I was yours.”
A wild rush of radiant euphoria waterfalls through me. It must show in my eyes, because Aiden was watching me nervously for a reaction, and he seems pretty damn pleased with the one he got. He breaks into a relieved smile, then a relieved laugh.
“Really, man?” I let out a dazed laugh of my own. “That’s - wow. I really wish I could remember.”
Aiden’s blue eyes darken with a wave of sudden sadness. He smooths a strand of red hair back from my forehead, then tenderly frames my face in his hands, shaking his head at me.
“You do remember, Jamie. It’s still in there. You just have to let your barriers down, so I can get rid of that magic blocking your way.” Aiden sinks down on top of me, brushing sweet, lingering kisses up my neck. “You just need to remember that it’s me…”
My body is suffused with that indescribable golden feeling Aiden gives me, bursting with it.
I wrap my arms around his upper back, panting from pure eagerness as he undoes my belt buckle with one hand, then slowly unzips the fly of my jeans. His warm fingers push slowly up my chest, firmly hold my jaw open so he can kiss me deeply, tasting my tongue. Then they slide all the way back down, until they slip beneath my boxers.
My breath catches sharply. I press my nose into the top of Aiden’s muscled shoulder, shivering as his kisses travel up my throat, then try to keep myself from crying out as his hand slowly begins to toy with me. My hips lift from the bed towards his fingers. My own fingers are scrambling to find his belt.
Aiden feels what I’m trying to do and sits back. He hooks his fingertips in the waistband of my jeans, asking me with his eyes. I rush to lift myself up so he can drag the rest of my clothes off of me, then watch with eager eyes as he loses the rest of his, too.
He does that so fast that I can barely get a look at him before he playfully flattens me to the bed. The happy laugh he startles from me is cut off as he kisses me again. I moan into his mouth as he grinds his naked body into mine, sinking me into the bed.
My hands fly up to cup his face, and rich stubble tickles my palms.
Something fierce and molten-hot rushes up in my heart. Something all-consuming, everlasting. Something that makes me want to lock Aiden in my arms forever.
What is that? I think to myself, spellbound. Feels like trying to fit a whole world in my heart…
As if in answer to my unspoken question, Aiden whispers in my ear -
“I love you, Jamie, and you love me, too…” He starts kissing his way down my chest, then my stomach, then lower, until his head is between my legs. “That’s why you remember how this feels...”
I let out a hoarse gasp, then whimper with pleasure, running my hand through Aiden’s lush chestnut hair. My head falls back against the bedding. I’m struggling to think through the haze of ecstasy, which grows deeper and deeper with every passing second.
“Come on, Linden,” Aiden murmurs, his deep voice rolling through my body like a rumble of thunder as I squirm desperately beneath his touch. “You have to remember me… you’re mine. You’re mine like nobody else was ever mine… and I’m yours, the same way… I’ll show you…”
There was some tiny, anxious part of me with lingering doubts about everything. Warning me that all of this is dangerous, so dangerous. Trying to convince me I’m making a mistake trusting my instincts so wholeheartedly, not stopping for one second to question them. Warning me that all of this is probably too good to be true, that it’s possible I don’t even really know him.
Aiden slowly, meticulously works those doubts down into nothing as he works my body up into a frenzy. There’s just no way that someone who doesn’t love me could handle me like this.
He knows the tattoo I have by heart, knows how to trace it with his fingers without looking. He knows how to make something as simple as his hand passing over the base of my stomach into something unthinkably intimate. He knows exactly how to drive me to a wild state of desperation, and that’s exactly what he’s doing.
I’m melting and melting beneath his touch, until my entire body is a flame of feverish, all-consuming desire. All I can do is give myself over to this with eager abandon.
It’s like asking someone, are you sure you’ve played that instrument before? and then listening as they effortlessly play the most beautiful, self-composed song you’ve ever heard in your life.
You have to know your instrument. Aiden is only teasing me and toying with me right now, but it doesn’t matter. He’s drawing music out of my body with every little move he makes.
I’m being stroked and played with, licked everywhere, roughly rolled over, pinned to the mattress, turned over again, teased and bitten - and without exception, every touch Aiden places on me is a flawless masterstroke. It’s like he has a map of every sweet spot on my body, and he knows how to use them with merciless precision. This is something else, this is… smashing the whole framework of what I previously thought pleasure was.
Aiden’s responsiveness is unbelievable, too. In more than one sense. The responsiveness of his body, for one. He’s obviously enjoying every second of this just as much as I am. He’s achingly ready to go, visibly straining not to start rushing things, even though I’ve barely done anything to him. As if just getting to do what he’s doing to me is more than enough.
More than that, though… Aiden’s responsiveness is staggering in that he understands every wordless thing I try to tell him. The slightest touch of my fingertips against his wrist and the pressure of his fingers lightens. The barest hitch of my breath and he does whatever he just did again, a little harder and a little slower.
When I press myself up against him he rubs himself against me, sparking friction between our naked bodies. He goes on working his body against mine, panting into my open mouth, until I start to moan pleadingly, tightening my thighs and my arms around him.
As if he knew I’d do that. As if he’s done this with me countless times before.
My eyes flutter open as Aiden suddenly catches me by my waist and rolls us over. He lands sprawled out on his back, with me astride his lap.
He curls his arms in the bedding by his head, unwittingly giving me a ridiculous view of his rounded biceps. Exposing the whole of his body to me, as if in offering.
I’ve been happy to let him do everything, but now I realize just how much I’ve been wanting to do everything to him. My fingertip is already tracing the firm mound of one of his pecs. His fingers twitch, but he holds still, silently telling me to do whatever I want.
I do, and eventually that winds up with my head in Aiden’s lap, his hand twisted in my hair. He’s chewing his lip so hard it’s swelling up, involuntarily starting to buck his hips against my face, sinking his heels into the bed in his effort to hold still. I ease up, but only to give him tiny, sucking, playful little kisses where I know he won’t be able to take it for long.
Aiden’s body gives a little spasm, an inarticulate burst of his deep voice escaping through his clenched teeth. He uses the handful of my hair to drag my head up, issuing me an unspoken summon with his stunning blue eyes. I straighten up, letting him pull me up towards him. I land balanced on my knees, one on either side of his hips.
Panting, I meet his eyes. He looks just as desperate for this as I am - he’s gazing up at me with open hunger, softly stroking my thigh - but he makes no other movement.
He doesn’t say anything, and again… somehow I just understand what he’s trying to tell me. He wants me to be the one who decides if this is going any further.
His breath catches as I eagerly adjust my positioning. He sits up a little, his hands swiftly taking my hips, angling them for me.
He lets out a heavy, shuddering rush of breath as I slowly begin to sink down onto his lap. I whimper and flinch sharply, my face screwing up, but Aiden knows better than to misread that as a sign he should stop. One of his hands comes up to tangle in my hair. I turn my head to sink my teeth into his arm, and - wow, he really likes that. I can feel the throb of pleasure it sends through his body, and hear it in the soft hiss of breath he lets out through his teeth. He strokes my hair adoringly, his other hand still slowly guiding me down.
Aiden was right. I remember him, just not in my mind. No part of me is fighting this. Every part of me wants him, in a way that feels beyond doubt.
A breathless moan escapes me as our bodies melt all the way together. At the same time, Aiden lets out a low, tortured groan from somewhere deep in his throat.
He falls flat on his back, his body rigid with pleasure, his powerful chest rising and falling in fast, shallow breaths. He closes his eyes for a second, swallowing hard, then lifts his head to look up at me.
His pupils are blown all the way out, and he stares at me so intensely you’d think he was trying to permanently burn the sight into his eyes.
We both hold still for a second, panting. Bodies united, eyes locked together.
Aiden sucks in a jagged breath as I begin to move. I can’t stop myself. The fever is going to break me if I don’t. I slowly raise myself almost all the way off of him, then just as slowly sink all the way back down.
Aiden lets out a rough, strangled moan, and the last of my restraint snaps.
Passion and pleasure spill through me like rivers of molten lava as I fall into movement, beginning to build up a rhythm. My consciousness is leaving my mind, rushing out to every point of contact between me and Aiden. To my eyes, as they drink in the sight of him.
Aiden is watching me, too, clutching two tight handfuls of the bedding by his head. He throws his head back and catches his lip between his teeth as my slow, teasing rhythm intensifies, growing rougher and hungrier.
He looks so beautiful beneath me with his head flung back like that, his cheeks burning, his bronze body rocking back and forth on the bed with my movements, begging to be touched everywhere. My hands go all over him, following instinctive pathways, as if I already know exactly what will make him moan.
And I’m right. He does start moaning, just like I already am. Breathing in short, jagged exhales through his parted lips, his powerful muscles taut and straining and twitching. He can’t help but roll his hips in time with my movements, making everything even better. Can’t help but take my hips to grind me down onto him, making both of us groan helplessly.
I’m swimming in sensory heaven, someplace beyond pleasure, barely able to breathe from how good this is.
I lose control of myself, starting to move purely on instinct. Aiden’s heels start digging into the bed, his feet flexing and unflexing, his chest heaving. The crimson blush glazing his cheeks is growing even darker, his eyebrows drawn up and together. He looks like he could be in the throes of agony or ecstasy, or both.
He can’t seem to decide if he wants to lay back, close his eyes, and lose himself completely in this, or if he wants to lift his head and watch me with hazy, rapt eyes. He keeps going back and forth between the two.
I could swear the sight of him like this is intimately familiar to me, somehow, but I can no longer think about anything besides how this feels. I’m lost, ablaze, melting…
“Jamie-” Aiden’s deep voice is all thick and soft and heavy, rough with pleasure. His gasping breaths break up his words as he speaks. “Oh, f-fuck - wait, Jamie, wait, not yet - we - we need to - get you to let your - barriers down - before this is - over!”
I forced myself to stop as soon as he said wait, even though I’ve never wanted to do anything less. My body is trembling with the effort it’s taking to not keep going, aching with how badly I want to.
“I w-was hanging in there,” I protest, panting as I fight to hold still.
It’s true, even if it probably only would have remained true for like five more seconds.
“Good for you, man.” Aiden huffs out a trembling laugh and pushes a hand through his hair, struggling to get his breath back. “I sure fuckin’ wasn’t. Guess you also forgot your body is ruthless - and that you are - ruthlessly cute…”
His blue eyes meet mine. He swallows hard, seems to lose a battle with himself.
Before I can blink, he’s lifted me and thrown me onto my back, and he’s burying himself between my thighs. I cry out, and Aiden leans down to kiss me hungrily, his body falling into a deep, rough rhythm, rocking mine. My toes curl, my body trembling with pleasure so intense it’s excruciating, hoarse cries tearing themselves from my throat.
“Come on, Jamie,” Aiden moans, his deep voice fractured with his gasping breaths. “Let the - barriers down - please, please… you know I won’t - hurt you - I love you… I love you, baby, can’t you tell?”
My breaths are rising, my back slowly starting to arch. His words are echoing in my ears, reverberating to the deepest depths of my heart.
“Jamie,” Aiden gasps desperately, imploringly, panting through every word. “I can’t - hold out - much longer-”
I fling my head back and cry out, too lost in mounting pleasure to hear him. Aiden gasps as I tighten my grasp on him, crushing him closer to me. He sinks me even deeper into the bed, shuddering and moaning, forcing a blissed-out little wail from me. He kisses me like he wants to drink that sound, then keeps his lips against mine, breathing love and devotion right into my body. Then there’s his deep voice, his lips to my ear, I love you, Jamie, I love you…
My eyes flutter closed as some barrier silently gives way between us. I don’t know how or why, but access to some secret, deeper world just opened.
Aiden must have felt that, too. Because the instant it happens, something sparkling and warm and bright pours into me from everywhere, saturating my body. Liquid sunlight, celestial gold, glittering like cosmic dust. My mind is floating in it, my body wrapped in it…
The light gives me what feels like a quick, reassuring caress, as if promising me that everything will be okay. Then it leaps into movement and rushes through me, urgently searching for something -
A flash goes through my brain, briefly sending my consciousness spinning.
I gasp again, shuddering beneath Aiden. My eyes fly open just in time to catch a wave of darkness rushing out across the room from our intertwined bodies, chased out by a sweep of golden light. Both darkness and light evaporate at once, vanishing into thin air. That’s all I see before the delayed sensation of what Aiden is doing catches up with me. All at once.
The tidal wave of pleasure building in me suddenly sweeps to its highest, towering height, and hangs there for a split second, suspended.
“Aiden,” I gasp, the only thing I manage to get out before the tidal wave collapses over my head, dissolving into millions of droplets of pure ecstasy that rush my body and flood it.
My words fracture apart into vague, inarticulate cries, my body writhing beneath Aiden.
As soon as it happens, Aiden can’t hold back any longer. He drags in a fast, jagged breath, then sinks down as deep as he can go between my thighs, pinning me down to the bed, holding me in place as a broken, breathless groan tears itself from his lips. I gasp as another wave of mind-melting pleasure annihilates me, clinging tightly to him, shivering uncontrollably.
I whimper helplessly into Aiden’s neck as he slowly rocks us back and forth one more time, then collapses on top of me, enveloping me from head to toe with his sculpted, sweat-slicked body. My hands slide down from his shoulder blades until my arms can lock tightly around his waist. He buries his face in my neck, trembling just as hard as I am.
We lay there, entangled and panting and reeling, for a few seconds of blissed-out silence.
Aiden suddenly rushes to prop himself up on his elbows. He pushes my sweaty hair back from my temple, peers searchingly into my eyes.
“Jamie?” he says softly, half holding his breath.
Still panting, I break into a huge, adoring smile, reaching up to cup his face in my hands.
“Hi, Sugar Maple,” I laugh happily. “I knew you could do it!”
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