Golden Autumn - Part Eleven
This episode is part of a larger story, Soft Touch. If you haven’t yet, you can go back and read it from the beginning right here.
“Fling Thing! Fling Thing! Fling Thing!”
“I didn’t expect Aiden to join the chant,” Will laughs, trotting to keep up with us as Kasey and I weave excitedly around Aiden on the sidewalk.
“Why not?” Aiden flashes him an enthusiastic grin over his shoulder. “I fuckin’ love the Fling Thing.”
“I must admit I’m excited for this, myself,” Will laughs, looking around at the sunlit street.
It’s perfect Fling Thing weather, given it’s going to be an autumn Fling Thing this year. The sky is full of soft grey clouds, but sunlight is breaking through them in places. Streaming through the orange, scarlet, and golden crowns of the trees in people’s yards, illuminating them brightly. The air is sweet and cold. A very light breeze sends fallen leaves tumbling down the road, bounces the clumps of tufty, cream-colored wildflowers uncurling along the sidewalk. It’s the kind of fall afternoon that makes me think of being a little kid, sitting on the floor in the noisy warmth of a classroom, making paper chains in autumn colors.
Despite the chilly air the streets are busy, the way they only get on the day of the Fling Thing. People are out and about, loading up their cars and zipping up their jackets, eagerly talking and laughing. Teenage babysitters are walking up to houses, and excited-looking parents are hurrying out to meet them. There’s an air of celebratory lightness that’s seriously infectious. It’s all I can do not to break into a jog.
I do break into a jog when I catch sight of Kent’s elderly neighbor, who just stepped back to let two kids go scurrying into her house.
“Hey, Mrs. Ramos!” I call out cheerfully, giving her a wave. “You babysitting for the Fling Thing?”
“Sí, Jamie, it’s become a yearly tradition,” she laughs, coming over to the fence. “You kids go have some fun!”
“At what age are we not kids anymore, in your book? Just wondering.”
“When you’re older than Fling Thing age,” she laughs, tucking a strand of grey behind her ear. “Not for a while, in short.”
I grin excitedly at her, glancing at the street corner we’re about to go around. “Is Kent ready to go?”
“Mhm. He’s by his house, with the sweet one and the one with good rhythm.”
I stare after her in confusion as she heads back up the path to her house. “The one with…?”
Aiden, Kasey, Will, and I turn as one to look at the street corner, realizing that there’s some music drifting to us from around it. Aiden and I exchange a glance. Without a word, we both speed up, turn the corner, and stop where we are.
Noah is standing up in the bed of Raj’s truck, dancing to the music coming from the speakers. Really going all out, like he’s in the middle of a nightclub. Raj is leaning against the truck, watching him with a giant grin on his face. A good number of people headed to the Fling Thing have noticed and briefly stopped to watch, too, but if Noah is aware that people are laughing it doesn’t seem to bother him one bit.
“Hey, there they are!” he shouts excitedly, catching sight of us. “Salut, boys! You ready to have a fuckin’ time?”
“Oh, I see,” Aiden laughs, coming over to stand beside Raj. “You’re the sweet one.”
“Am I, brother?” Raj asks, surprised and flattered. “What’s that mean-?”
He breaks off as I bound up into the back of the truck to join Noah.
“Fling Thing time, baby!” I shout eagerly, and Noah breaks into an enormous grin.
“Fuck yes, Keane! You get it! Oh, shit yeah, and here comes Ripples! Yo, Rip!”
“Hey!” Ripley shouts excitedly, racing up to join us with his skateboard tucked under his arm, laughing when a general noise of enthusiastic greeting goes up.
Noah points dramatically down at him from the truck, effortlessly shimmying his shoulders. “You ready for your first Fling Thing, my guy?”
“I thought so, but now I’m not sure,” Ripley laughs, stopping behind the truck and holding his phone up to Noah. “Why’d you text me ‘don’t forget your boner, we might need it’?”
“Did I? Shit. I meant your board. But I see you brought it, so no difference. You knew what I meant.”
“I did not,” Ripley laughs, staring up at Noah in disbelief. “I thought you were talking about something entirely different, and I couldn’t fathom what you meant by it.” He starts scrambling up into the truck. “Are we all jumping in? Except Aiden, for some reason?”
“He probably doesn’t want to destroy my truck,” Raj says, then laughs when Aiden shoots him a dark look. “C’mon, dude, you know a musclebeast like you could crush this thing like an ice cream cone.”
“Yeah, he could,” I chime in approvingly.
“Oh, this from the guy who called me a gym bro,” Aiden says, affecting a wounded pout.
“Mkay. If you’re not a gym bro then why did you get excited when that guy at the grocery store was like ‘great traps, bro’?”
“Okay, everyone likes getting compliments, first of all, and second of all I didn’t hop in the truck because I’m holding food that I already regret cooking for you jerks!”
“Oh, it smells so good,” Raj sighs as he breathes in the steam, earning Aiden’s instant, beaming forgiveness. “Hell yeah, Aiden! Wait, I smell something else amazing, too…”
“Hey, everyone!” Alix comes breathlessly rushing up to the group, glowing with excitement, Mel and Calla following after her. “Fling Thing time! I made sweet bread cinnamon rolls!”
She giggles when that earns an immediate cheer from everyone. Ripley hops over the side of the truck to eagerly rush over to her. Mel and Calla both start laughing, watching Noah bend over nearly all the way backwards and shake out his whole body to the beat of the music. Somehow he hasn’t stopped dancing this whole time.
“Okay, while you guys take care of - this,” Alix giggles, with a gesture to Noah, “I’m gonna go see if Gabby needs help getting anything to the car.”
Alix scurries up the driveway to disappear into the house, and Mel comes over to accept the open place in Raj’s arms that he’s offering her.
“You better get down from there before Kent sees you!” she calls up to Noah.
“She’s right,” Aiden begins warningly, going around the side of the truck to put the food in the front. “He’s gonna tell you to-”
“NOAH!” comes a stern shout from the house. “Get down from there before you hurt yourself!”
Noah gives a startled jolt and immediately topples over the side of the truck bed. He crashes right into Aiden, taking him out so that they both land in the bushes lining Kent’s driveway. Mel and Calla burst out laughing, clinging to each other for support.
“Nicely done, dude,” Aiden groans, sitting up and shoving Noah off of him.
“Blame Kent,” Noah pants, springing back to his feet as Kent comes down the driveway towards us. “Kent! That was as good as laying hands on me! I hope you know any harm comes to me, Ralph’s gonna make you beg for your life!”
“Where is Ralph?” I ask, directing the question to Calla.
I wince deeply when I realize she’s on the phone, and has been the whole time.
“-conversion routine, and that way we can get into custom error handling by next week,” she finishes, then listens to someone on the phone for a moment. “Yeah, go ahead. We’ll have to get pentesters once it’s done… okay fine, then I’ll do that part myself. Later, though. Right now I’ve gotta go. I’m going to the Fling Thing!”
There’s a pause, and then she explains -
“No, Fling Thing. It’s some Ketterbridge thing, I guess? I’m about to find out, so bye!” She ends the call and comes over to the truck, smiling excitedly at me. “Hey, Jamie! Sorry, work shit. You were looking for Ralph? He’s right there.”
I look into the truck, then let out a startled little yelp when I realize that Ralph is in there, stretched out across the front seats, deeply asleep.
“Oh - better let me!” Calla adds hurriedly, when I start to reach for him through the truck window. “If you wake Ralph up unexpectedly you might end up in a chokehold. Especially if he wakes up somewhere unfamiliar.”
“As some of us know all too well,” Noah mutters beneath his breath, running a hand over the tattoos on his neck.
“I don’t want you to end up in a chokehold, Calla,” I point out in alarm as she comes over to the window.
“No, I won’t. He doesn’t do that with me.” She lets out a little laugh, smiling at him with her hazel eyes. “I’ve wondered about it, to be honest. How does he know in his sleep? Does he - smell my perfume, or something?”
She reaches into the car as she speaks, slowly and gently takes Ralph’s face into her hands. Ralph breathes out a soft, peaceful sigh, trustingly turns his face against her palm.
“Wait, seriously?” Ripley asks incredulously, before Calla can do anything to wake Ralph up. “He just knows when it’s you? What’s gonna happen if I try to wake him up?”
“You’re taking your life in your hands,” Noah informs him. “And asking to have the shit scared out of you. Don’t forget our man is in the game, and therefore always on the lookout for trouble. He doesn’t turn it off just because he’s asleep.”
“It’s a harrowing experience if you catch him at the wrong moment,” Aiden adds knowingly.
Ripley raises an eyebrow. “Okay, but I don’t believe he somehow knows when it’s Calla.”
“Then go ahead and try,” Calla says, taking a step back. “Wake him up yourself.”
Ripley steps up to the truck and reaches through the window. As soon as his fingers come within an inch of Ralph’s shoulder, before Ripley even touches him, Ralph snaps upright. Before any of us can blink he’s seized a handful of Ripley’s shirt and wrenched him up tightly against the outside of the truck door.
His sage green eyes are barely open, but they’re blazing wildly as they land on Ripley’s, and the way he sat up Ripley’s face is only an inch away from his.
“Death penalty,” he snarls, in a bone-cold voice.
“Oh my god!” Ripley shouts, sounding very much like someone who just realized they’re being stalked by a shark in the open ocean. He hurls himself away from the truck, his green eyes wide with alarm. “Alright, nevermind, I see what you mean!”
“Told you,” Calla laughs, then leans down to kiss Ralph as he blinks hard and rubs his eyes, waking up some more. “Hey, cute thing. Had a nice nap?”
“Mmm… yeah, not bad,” Ralph yawns, his voice going back to normal as he looks around and places himself. “Sorry, Ripley, did I freak you out?”
“N-no, I’m fine,” Ripley manages, around a breathless laugh. “Jesus, though, dude! You - you have issues!”
“He’s a valiant lad, that one,” Will laughs, with a nod at Ripley. “Perhaps a little too much for his own wellbeing.”
“Will says that you’re a valiant lad, dude,” I tell Ripley, smiling brightly as I realize I can talk about this now.
“Oh, the ghosts are here?” Noah lifts a hand and waves in sort of a general way. “What’s up, Will! Kasey!”
The others add in their group-greeting. Will and Kasey both pause in surprise, then exchange a wide grin with each other. Kent comes up to join the group, carrying a promisingly full cooler and a wrapped-up tray of something giving off nice-smelling steam.
“The ghosts are here?” he asks, having caught that last bit. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, hi, Kent! Ugh, it’s so lame that you guys can’t see how cute my boyfriend is, even though you’re all finally getting to meet him!” Kasey gives her blushing ghost a shove forward. “He’s so hot, you guys, you just have to trust me!”
“Miss Lavoe!” Will stammers in shy, flustered anguish, although nobody but me and Aiden can see him. “D’ye think you could-?”
“Gorgeous!” Kasey adds for emphasis, with me repeating all this back to the group.
“What does she mean by it?” Will asks me and Aiden, with a tortured look in his green eyes. “What does she mean by it, I say? Trying to make me so worked up that I should bite my own tongue in my first encounter with all of her friends!”
“I think she’s just excited because you’re hot,” Aiden explains, stifling a laugh as he sees the despairing expression on Will’s face.
“Hey, Will, when you were alive did you ever see Jamie’s car around?” Ripley asks, grinning as he fixes his eyes on the place where he saw me and Aiden looking. “Or Noah’s, now, for that matter?”
“My car is not that old, Ripples!”
“Yeah, and mine’s not ancient, it’s just - seen a lot of babies!”
“There were no cars when I first came to Ketterbridge, but I do remember the first day a car drove through town. It was quite an event! Everyone came outside to sit on their lawns and watch. It was almost like an unofficial party.” Will looks around brightly at the people filling up their cars and heading out for the Fling Thing. “I see that spirit lives on in Ketterbridge.”
“Yeah, along with two other spirits,” Kent growls, when I finish repeating that, “One of whom I want a word with about sneakily hanging out in my shop behind my back, without a word to me, for basically a whole year-”
“Well, should we get going?” Kasey jumps in hastily.
Raj glances in through the truck window once Aiden repeats that. “Depends, is Ralph even awake?”
“Some of us have jobs that require a lot of work at night, dude,” Ralph yawns, rubbing his eyes again. “It’s fine, I’m up.”
“Better be, dude!” Noah comes up to the truck door, reaches in, and shakes Ralph by a handful of his shirt. “Because it’s time!”
“To party!” Aiden adds, reaching through the other window to do the same thing, so that now he and Noah are shoving Ralph’s half-awake self back and forth between them.
“And get stupid!” Noah cheers.
Ralph lets out a sputter of laughter, swatting both of them away. “I’m up, okay? I’m fucking up!”
He does look more awake now, the signs of his sleep haze falling away from his face. I was fighting back a laugh, watching him get basically rattled awake by Noah and Aiden, but my eyes just caught on Raj. I’ve just noticed that Ralph isn’t the only one who’s clearly tired out today.
Raj looks a different kind of tired, though. More like he got a really intense workout, or something. He looks sore, wincing as he nurses a Gatorade, leaning very heavily against the truck. I narrow my eyes at him curiously, then look to my left as someone pulls at the sleeve of my flannel.
“Jamie,” Melanie whispers, drawing me a step back from the group.
“Hey! Wow, you look lovely!” She really does. Her smiling eyes are very bright, her cheeks flushed, her skin glowing. “Got some good sleep last night?”
“I got no sleep last night!” she giggles softly, taking me another confidential step back from the group. “What the hell happened when Noah and Raj came over to see you?”
I draw my head back in confusion. “They came to look at our wall, we had a - tree - problem. Why, what are you talking about?”
“I thought you might be able to tell me,” Mel giggles, the blush in her cheeks growing darker. “I don’t know what got into Raj! I mean - I have no complaints about how things normally are, none at all, but - we - it’s never been literally all night like that, just over and over again!”
I blink at Melanie in blank confusion, but a giant, open-mouthed grin spreads across Kasey’s face, so I catch up pretty quickly.
“Oh, I - did he, um-?”
“It was crazy!” Mel laughs softly, wide-eyed with disbelief. “And then he passed out mumbling something about how he had to give you guys a heads up, so I thought maybe you could explain? I’m not even sure my body can take another night like that, fun as it was! I am sore.”
“I - just give me one sec, Mel,” I manage, struggling not to laugh. “Tell Kasey all about it. She’s right here listening, and she’s doing the details please thing with her hands.”
“Phenomenal,” Melanie giggles, turning to face where I was pointing. “She’s the perfect person to talk to about this. Okay, so I fell asleep in the nursery reading to Nikita. I wake up to find Raj literally snatching me out of my chair. Like one second I’m reading Grandfather Twilight, the next thing I know Raj is taking me out of the room so fast it was like he was trying to kidnap me.”
“Oh, yes,” Kasey sighs, grinning enormously as I hastily make my retreat.
I make a beeline for Raj, who was listening to Noah, Aiden, and Ripley arguing with each other. He turns his head and sees me coming, catches my eye.
“Jamie,” he says quietly, slow-blinking at me with exhausted eyes. “Gotta warn you, brother, it - it turns out you want to be careful about getting that resin on your skin. I lowkey lost my mind last night when we got home.”
Aiden heard that. He drifts a little closer to listen curiously as I desperately fight back a laugh.
“Yeah,” I manage unsteadily, hearing that even Raj’s voice is hoarse and raspy from too much use. “Heard a little about it from Mel. Sounds like you went on a bit of a marathon.”
“A bit of a marath-? Man, that’s an understatement.” Raj tiredly folds his elbows on the side of the truck. “It was paradise at the time, but today I realize you’re not supposed to do it that many times in a row. I slept like a rock afterwards, dude, I think I might have died. And now I don’t think I can go again for maybe a whole week.”
“Not a whole week!” I answer sympathetically, struggling my hardest not to laugh.
“You alright, there, Raj?” Aiden asks, breaking into a grin as he realizes what’s going on.
“I was alright, then wildly better than alright, then soaring up to one of the most mind-blowing nights of my life, and now I’ve crashed,” Raj groans, dropping his forehead onto his arms. “I’ve got nothing left. In my whole body. And why did I wake up at five in the morning and work on carving something for Noah for like five straight hours, afterwards? I was already so tired! Might have to take one nap at the Fling Thing, brothers…”
“Okay,” Aiden rumbles, in a voice like he’s just made an important decision. “Whatever, I’m just gonna do it. Brace yourself, Raj.”
“What-?” Raj begins, then straightens up with a gasp as Aiden taps his back with one fingertip, sending a tiny burst of golden energy into him. “Holy shit!”
Aiden reaches through the back of the truck to Ralph, who’s leaning against the wheel like he needs it to hold himself up. He gives him one tap between his shoulder blades, sinking a golden spark through his shirt. Ralph snaps upright and gasps in a shuddering breath, his grey-green eyes blinking hard.
“Refined that one a little since you overloaded me while we were camping, huh, A?” he pants, suddenly looking very wide awake. He slaps a hand against the wheel, his knee bouncing. “Whew, that’s still a lot, though! Fucking Christ!”
“There we go,” Aiden laughs. “Everyone up now?”
Raj and Ralph both look one hundred percent here. Everyone else has abruptly fallen silent. A number of our group haven’t seen Aiden do too much magic, or any at all, so Aiden finds himself the subject of more than a few startled, amazed stares.
He blushes nervously, but everyone recovers with admirable speed. The conversations that were already happening quickly start back up. Noah didn’t have to recover at all, so he was already coming over to join us.
“Hey, Aiden,” he says, dropping his voice to a confidential volume, “Can I get some of that resin from your tree? I just, um - want to try something.”
“No,” Aiden says firmly as I sink against him, shaking with silent laughter. “You can count last night as the one and only time I’ll ever let you guys take a knife to one of Jamie’s plants.”
I turn my head to look up at Aiden, biting my lip. “Is it dangerous that we’re all drug people, and I have several magical plants with unknown capabilities?”
“It is not, because I’m drawing a hard line right now. No more for any of you guys.”
“So I can’t have any more, either?” Raj asks regretfully.
“What-?” Aiden’s blue eyes go wide with disbelief. “Raj, you just said you thought it killed you.”
“Well - yeah, but - you know, before that-”
Aiden closes his eyes and puts his fingertips to his temples. “Oh, my god. You’re out of your mind, dude.”
“I know,” Raj moans helplessly, dropping his forehead onto his arms.
“I only heard the last few sentences, but I’m extremely concerned,” Kent informs us, joining our little group. “Raj, what almost killed you? Why do you want more of it?”
Raj’s voice comes out muffled against his arms. “I’d - rather not explain. I went crazy last night.”
“It was wild, man,” Noah tells Kent, smiling dreamily. “World-class. You should’ve seen him go.”
My mouth drops open into a giant, shocked grin. “Fucking what? Did you see it, dude?”
Noah abruptly seems to realize what he said. He holds perfectly still for a second or two, exchanges a swift look with Raj, then comes back with: “Nah, I - I wasn’t - no.”
“Holy shit,” Aiden laughs, as I cover my mouth with my hands and slump back against him.
“What are you guys talking about?” Calla asks, stopping beside us.
“Nothing!” we all answer at once, more loudly and forcefully than strictly necessary.
Calla’s eyebrows fly up, and she lets out a little laugh. “Okay, wow. That wasn’t suspicious at all. You guys are soooo sneaky.”
Noah is whispering something in Kent’s ear that’s making Kent’s eyebrows arch up higher and higher.
“But Aiden won’t let us have anymore,” Noah finishes sadly, drawing back. “He won’t give you any either, so don’t bother asking.”
“Man, I don’t need some resin to want to go all night,” Kent tells him, breaking into a smirk. “I’m always ready for that, fools. All the motivation I need is Gabb- hey, you!”
“Hey.” Gabby stops beside him, tucking a long strand of hair behind her ear. “What were you saying?”
“Nothing!” Kent says hastily, putting an arm around her shoulders. “You look nice! Is that, um - is that nail polish?”
Gabby looks down at her bright red fingernails, then up at Kent, arching a baffled eyebrow. “Yeah…?”
“Cool, well, we - weren’t talking about anything.”
“Again, perfectly done,” Calla says, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter. “Totally sneaky, not at all suspicious.”
“This conversation is getting further and further away from not suspicious the more I hear of it,” Gabby informs us, half-laughing in confusion. “There isn’t a woman on this planet who would fall for that, in fact. What were you-?”
“It’s not about wanting to go all night,” Raj tells Kent, drawing Calla and Gabby’s baffled eyes to him. “You’re making it sound like those pills for men that they have commercials for during football games. It’s more like - you have no idea, it’s like - I can’t describe it. Jamie, give him some so he can see.”
“No!”
“Alright, I’m getting kind of curious,” Kent admits.
“Me, too,” Gabby laughs helplessly. “I’m sorry, but what-?”
“What are you guys talkin’ about?” Ralph asks, stopping beside Raj.
Raj leans over to whisper in his ear at a confidential volume, and Ralph tilts his head to the side in surprise.
“Shit, really?” he asks Raj, then turns to me and Aiden. “You guys looking to move that stuff, by any chance? ‘Cause I could get you a real good price.”
“Oh, my god,” Aiden sighs, taking off his snapback to push a hand through his chestnut hair.
“I’ll probably have to try it first, though,” Ralph adds, all casual. “I test out all my products, so-”
“No, no, and no, dude,” Aiden tells him firmly.
I look up helplessly at Aiden. “This is the worst group to find itself in possession of magical resin, babe. I told you, we’re all drug people, this is gonna be-”
“Shit, that’s right, it’s resin,” Noah says, realizing out loud. “Wonder how it would burn in a dab rig. We should probably try, right?”
“It’s not weed resin, Noosh, it’s tree resin. You’re not supposed to smoke it. And it nearly made Raj-”
“Okay, we don’t have to talk about it anymore,” Raj jumps in hastily, cutting Aiden off with a blushing glance at Gabby and Calla, who are listening with bewildered expressions, both of them trying not to laugh. “Nevermind that!”
“Are you going to make secret plans to sell it to Ralph behind my back?” Aiden asks me. “So you can buy more houseplants?”
“What?” I ask, offended and indignant. “Secret plans behind your back? I don’t make those!”
Aiden gives me a skeptical look. “Oh, really? Then why did I find a book called The Absolute Beginner’s Guide to Keeping Backyard Chickens in your work bag?”
I blush a little, busted. “Okay, so, I was going to talk to you about that, when I had a minute! It’s not like I already bought a bunch of - I just thought it would be good to have some information ready to go before I-”
I break off as Kasey stops beside me, waving for my attention.
“James, my angel,” she says, grinning mischievously. “I have several detailed comments I’d like you to pass along to Melanie for me about the experience she had last night. Don’t change any of the words, okay?”
“Oh, no,” I answer faintly, my eyes widening with alarm.
“Oh, hey, Ellen!” Aiden says hastily, in the pointed, universal tone that all adults recognize as meaning there’s a kid listening now, so everybody stop it.
“Hey!” Ellen eagerly catches hold of Gabby’s dress, which is a soft shade of pumpkin-pie orange. “Can I please come to the Fling Thing? Please? I’ll be really good!”
I find myself smiling down at her fondly. I feel like I asked the exact same thing, every year up until my own first Fling Thing.
“When you’re older,” Kent promises, gently pinching her cheek. “The Fling Thing is only for grown-ups.”
“This is my first time going, Ellen!” Alix adds, coming over to join us with Melanie and Ripley, adjusting her scarf in the autumn breeze. “But you can go when you’re our age!”
Ellen’s face starts to fall as she contemplates how long that will be, but before it really can, Kent sweeps her up into his arms. She bursts into startled giggles as he spins her in a high circle and places her in the truck bed.
“You get up in the front and get strapped in so we can drop you off, baby.”
Ellen climbs up to the front, clearly excited by the sweep of activity even if she can’t go to the actual Fling Thing.
“Okay,” Kent says, getting into a business tone of voice. “Do we have everyone who’s going in the truck? I’m not even sure we can fit everybody.”
“Well, good thing I brought my boner,” Ripley says, holding up his skateboard and pointing to it.
Alix lets out a startled sputter of laughter. “What?”
An aggrieved sigh breaks from Noah, who closes his grey eyes in exasperation. “Dude, am I to be held accountable for every mistake my autocorrect makes? Trust me, you don’t want me to turn it off.”
Ripley isn’t listening. Raj is whispering to him, quietly telling him what we were all just talking about. He breaks into a startled grin, twisting the stud in his ear.
“No, shit?” he laughs, straightening up.
“But Jamie and Aiden won’t give us any, so don’t bother asking.”
Ripley raises one eyebrow at Raj, letting out a laugh. “I can already go all night, dude, I don’t need resin. Trans superpower. One of many.”
“What-?” Alix begins, starting to blush.
“For the last time, it’s not like a boner pill!” Raj groans, as Calla, Gabby, and Alix stare at him in bewilderment. “Oh, man. I’m the only one who’s experienced this, and I can’t explain. Only solution is for everybody to try it.”
“Okay, so we’re all agreed?” Noah asks quickly. “We all get some resin, and Jamie gets his chickens?”
Aiden seizes two handfuls of his hair. “No!”
“What are you guys talking about?” Ellen calls curiously.
“Chickens!” Raj, Aiden, Noah, Ripley, Ralph, Kent, and I all answer at once, then look at each other in surprise.
Ellen draws back in surprise, too, then eagerly unstraps her seatbelt. “Oh, cool! I want to hear about chickens! Emmett has some!”
“No, no no no,” Kent hastily calls back, shoving me and Aiden at the truck. “Stay where you are, baby, we’re all getting in!”
Alix and Ripley head for the front. The rest of us all start hopping up, Melanie laughing in surprise as Noah hands her up to Raj. Calla lightly springs up over the side, drawing wide-eyed stares of admiration from Alix and Ellen. Will is standing on the very top of the truck, gazing out at the busy street. Kasey eagerly scrambles up to join him.
“Hey, Will! Melanie just gave me some ideas!”
“Oh?” Will asks, turning to face her with a warm, curious smile.
“Mhm!” Kasey says, grinning from ear to ear as she seizes his hand. “Jamie, we’ll meet you guys there! We’re gonna stop at our place, real quick!”
“Okay-” I begin, struggling not to laugh at Will’s unsuspecting smile, but they’ve both already vanished.
“No more sex talk,” Kent warns the group, at a volume Ellen can’t hear. “At least not until we get to the Fling Thing.”
“Kasey didn’t get that message,” I inform him.
“Kasey will never get that message,” Aiden adds, as Kent tosses his hands up in exasperation.
“Kent, you know, there’s a war on talking about sex in this country,” Kasey says conversationally, reappearing cross-legged by Kent’s side. “A war in which I have clearly chosen a side. People need to start having real conversations about the Puritan history of-”
“Later!” Kent interrupts desperately, as soon as I start repeating all this.
Kasey springs to her feet, grinning widely, revealing that she’s got Will’s shirt in her hands. “Okay, bye! I’m gonna go take my lumberjack to bed real quick! See you guys there!”
She vanishes again, but I repeat it to Kent anyways. He drops his face into his hands, rubs his eyes behind his glasses.
“I preferred it when everyone was just chanting Fling Thing,” he sighs.
“Fling Thing!” Aiden and I cheer immediately.
“No, no no-” Kent begins, then gives up with a sigh as the entire truck joins in on the chant. “Noah, do we have some music to drown this out?”
Noah leans into the front of the truck, reaching around Ripley to get to the aux cable. “Sure thing, dude! I’ll turn it back on.”
“Just make sure it’s something appropriate for Ellen-”
Kent breaks off as GUMMY by Brockhampton starts playing at full volume through the truck, vibrating the entire thing with the bass. Noah, who had sat back down in the truck bed, then immediately scrambled up onto his knees when he heard what Kent asked, dives for his phone. But Ellen has already gotten an earful. As the song was already halfway through when it started up, she heard some lyrics, too. She takes in a sharp gasp, then bursts into scandalized giggles.
Noah stabs his finger at his phone until the song stops, then looks meekly at Kent.
“Those were a lot of words that dad only says when he hits his toe on something,” Ellen giggles. “I like this song, dad!”
“Noah, run,” Ralph whispers, catching a look at the expression on Kent’s face.
Gabby, who was trembling with suppressed laughter, suddenly loses the fight and bends nearly double, giggling into her hands. Kent turns to look at her, and she laughs even harder when she sees his outraged expression.
“Oh, Kent, whatever!” she laughs, curling up against his arm. “Ellen can’t come to the Fling Thing, but it’s still a special day. Let her get away with something.”
Kent screws his face up, then lets out a helpless laugh of his own.
“Ellen,” he says, sternly catching her eye. “Don’t repeat any of these words at school, you hear me? Or at home. Or - ever!”
“Oh, yay!” she giggles, beside herself with excitement.
Noah is grinning with relief. He puts the song to playing again, and Ralph, grinning too, reaches around to slap the side of the truck. Ripley gives us a thumbs-up from the front, then starts backing us out of the driveway.
Despite Kent’s hopes, the music does not override the Fling Thing chant. He gives up with a laugh, joins in as we set off rolling down the street.
~~~~
Noah once again has to dive for his phone to turn down the music when we pull up to Aunt Sarah’s house. To be fair, I don’t think he expected an enormously tall priest to be waiting with Aunt Sarah out on the front lawn.
“Father Leo,” Noah says hastily, stopping the music as Aunt Sarah shakes with silent laughter. “Good to see you again, sir!”
“HELLO, SON,” Father Leo booms cheerfully, as Kent lifts Ellen down from the truck and sets her in front of him. “RAJIV, MELANIE! HOW’S MARRIED LIFE TREATING YOU?”
“Holy moly!” Ellen blurts out, staring up at the tattooed, scarred, brawny priest in amazement.
Father Leo didn’t hear her, but he must have noticed she said something, because he looks down to smile warmly at her. “YES, HELLO TO YOU TOO, MY DAUGHTER.”
“Married life’s been good!” Noah says, breaking into a dimpled grin at Ellen’s wide-eyed expression. “You remember everybody from our wedding, right?”
A general burst of greeting goes up from the truck, drawing a laugh from Father Leo.
“I THINK SO, YES. ALTHOUGH I DIDN’T GET THE CHANCE TO MEET EVERYONE DIRECTLY.” He narrows his eyes, tugging on his cross as he thinks, then points into the truck. “THIS ONE, I THINK I MISSED?”
“Oh, that’s Ralph, mine and Aiden’s brother! Aiden told him about how you were - how you were in the Navy,” Noah goes on, picking up his volume as Father Leo leans closer, turning his good ear towards him. “A lieutenant, and then in the Chaplain Corps!”
Ralph holds out a hand to Father Leo. “Real nice to meet you, LT.”
Father Leo blinks at him in surprise as he accepts the handshake. “ARE YOU-?”
“Leo,” Aunt Sarah giggles, pulling at his sleeve.
“OH, A LITTLE LOUD?” he asks, then winces apologetically when she nods at him, fighting back the irrepressible smile on her face. He turns back to Ralph, lowering his volume considerably. “Are you in the service, son?”
“No,” Ralph says, then adds, with obvious difficulty, “My dad, um - was.”
He doesn’t say more than that, but Father Leo draws back, looking a little sad, then nods understandingly.
“Ah,” he says, gently releasing Ralph’s hand. “Well, if you ever want to talk to someone who’d understand, you can always swing by and see me sometime.”
He seems to see the obvious alarm on Ralph’s face, because he lets out a booming laugh, then adds -
“Not for confession or anything like that, son, I meant just to chat. Casual. There’s a bar over in Greenrock where a lot of us ex-G.I.’s hang out. You heard of it?”
“No,” Ralph says, looking surprised and relieved.
“I’ll send the address to Aiden in case you feel like swinging by. No pressure.” Father Leo looks brightly at Ripley and Alix, who just hopped out of the front of the truck. “Alright, are we ready to go? I’m dropping everyone off, right?”
“Just one quick thing!” Aunt Sarah darts forward to hand a tray up to Aiden. “I baked a few extra-”
“Auntie,” Aiden groan-laughs, tilting his head back. “I’m grown, you don’t have to bake stuff for me anymore.”
“Do you hear this?” Aunt Sarah asks Father Leo despairingly. “He wants to take away one of the great joys of my life. My own nephew. Who should love me.” She tries unsuccessfully to push Aiden away as he leans over the side of the truck and hugs her around her shoulders, huffing laughter escaping from him. “Heartless, monstrous boy!”
“Thank you for baking something for me, Auntie, that’s what I meant to say!”
“Yeah, that’s what he meant to say.” Ripley joins us in the back of the truck, taking the tray from Aunt Sarah. “Don’t go turning down your aunt’s delicious contributions on our behalf, Aiden. Now we have everything we need.”
“Then we should get going,” Father Leo says brightly, slipping into the front of the truck. “Everyone settle in back there!”
Kent leans over the side of the truck to give Ellen a hug and a kiss on the top of her head. Ellen accepts the same from Gabby, then scurries over to join Aunt Sarah.
Noah, meanwhile, has called the rest of the group into a huddle in the truck bed.
“Yo,” he says uncertainly. “Should we, like, tone it down if there’s gonna be a priest driving us to the Fling Thing?”
“He was at your wedding,” Ripley points out. “That was some fucking all-out nonsense.”
“Yeah, but he left before we all got wasted, dude,” Raj points out.
“Right, so here’s the thing Jamie and I have learned about Father Leo since he started dating my aunt,” Aiden says, breaking into a grin. “He’s-”
Aiden is cut off as the music that was playing before is suddenly turned back on, at the same booming volume. Father Leo turns around in the front to flash a grin at our startled faces.
“EVERYBODY READY?” he shouts over the music, then laughs when he’s met with a resounding cheer.
“Okay, fuck what I said before!” Noah decides, beaming from ear to ear. “Let’s get fucking wild, crew!”
Another cheer goes up as we pull away from the curb, leaving Aunt Sarah and Ellen laughing at us on the lawn. And there’s another cheer only a few minutes later, when we find ourselves driving past Rasheem, Des, and Angie, who are loading up their car.
“Remember last year, when Gabby brought jello shots for everyone?” Aiden asks, letting out a huffing laugh as I snuggle back against him.
“Gosh, I should’ve thought to do it this year,” Gabby sighs sadly, then breaks into an irrepressible grin, opening up her purse. “Oh, wait a second! What’s this? It’s - a tray of jello shots!”
“YES!” Noah practically roars.
“And what’s this?” Gabby asks, handing Kent the tray and reaching back into her purse. “Oh, it’s - a second tray of jello shots!”
She dissolves into laughter when this gets a delighted gasp from everyone, then sternly says to Alix - “Not a word about this at work, Alix.”
“Oh, no, of course not!”
“Excellent. Now do this shot with me.”
“I love the Fling Thing already,” Ripley laughs.
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