Connection - Part Eleven
This episode is part of a larger story, Soft Touch. If you haven’t yet, you can go back and read it from the beginning right here.
I let myself into Raj, Noah, and Mel’s house – Niki’s house, as we’ve started calling it – and stop short. I stepped inside right as Gage was walking past the door with his laptop, his battered old headphones around his neck.
“What’s good, man?” he asks warmly, as I fall into step behind him.
“Hey, Gage!” I return his bright smile, full of growing affection. “How are you?”
“Dude, I’m so tired.”
I tip my head to the side inquiringly, lifting my bottle of cranberry juice to my mouth. “Are you?”
“Yeah, I was edging myself for hours yesterday.”
I instantly choke on my mouthful of cranberry juice. Don’t even have a second to recover before Gage adds – “It’ll be worth it, though. The solo film I shot is gonna be very authentic.”
Trying to talk through what’s happening in my throat right now is a poor decision, as it turns out. My words come out as just a lot of coughing with vague scraps of my voice beneath. I practically stagger after Gage into the living room, where Raj and Mel look up at me in bewildered alarm.
“Jamie, what happened, brother?”
“I – I-” I press the side of my fist to my chest, my eyes streaming, my cheeks on fire. “I just said hello to Gage.”
“Oh, that explains it,” Melanie giggles, finishing up a party favor bag and reaching for another. “We’ve developed some new strategies for life with Gage in the house. Here’s a good tip, Jamie: don’t drink or eat anything while he’s talking to you. There’s a real chance it’ll end up on the floor, or on your clothes.”
“Try – I’ll try to remember that one,” I stammer faintly, looking down at the cranberry juice spattered on my flannel.
“And definitely don’t hit a joint while he’s talking to you,” Raj warns me. “I coughed so hard, brah, my face got so red.”
“With me, Jamie Keane,” Gage says solemnly, taking my arm. “I’m glad you’re here. I’d like you to come take a look at something of a potentially serious nature.”
I can barely hold it together when this grave situation turns out to be a single dead leaf on one of the fruit trees we planted together in the backyard.
“It’s okay, ‘cause it’s autumn,” I explain gently. “It’s supposed to happen.”
“Right,” Gage says, then blushes a little. “I knew that. Just wanted to be sure, since they’re just little babies. Should you – do a checkup on them, or something?”
“They’re doing great,” I promise, straightening up to smile reassuringly at him. “But if you’d like, I can take a look-”
I break off as Gage’s phone starts buzzing in his pocket. He takes it out, glances down at it, then looks up at me apologetically.
“You mind if I take this? Friends from France.”
“Sure, good ahead!” I wave him away and kneel down by the baby fruit trees, taking my gardening gloves from my back pocket. “I’ll just make sure these two are doing good.”
Gage gives me an appreciative nod, then crosses to the far side of the backyard. I give the little saplings a thorough, careful looking over, but it doesn’t take me long. They really are doing great, so there’s not much they need from me at the moment.
After a few minutes I just go back towards the house, not sure what else to do with myself. Gage is there, leaning his shoulder against the wall in the green shade cast by the evergreens, video chatting with someone.
“Aw, Gage, how is it going?” a girl’s voice is asking. “Are you hanging in there?”
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Gage murmurs quietly, then sighs and rubs his forehead with his sleeve. “Maybe getting somewhere, I don’t know. I still just don’t know what to do. And it – it just sucks having to, like – see them-”
He stops hastily, having noticed me coming into earshot.
He quickly recovers his smile and beckons me over with a toss of his head. “You want to come say hi to my friends?”
Suddenly curious, I come over to have a look at his screen. There are two people on the other end of the video call. One of them is a very short, slender guy with a mop of soft amber curls. He’s draped across the back of a couch, wearing a crop top and booty shorts.
The other is a woman with thick, cherry cola red hair in two messy pigtails, and what looks like the remains of last night’s mascara, eyeliner, and eyeshadow lingering around her eyes. She’s sitting cross-legged on the couch, painting her nails. Wearing a very sheer white top, which my startled eyes notice and then carefully avoid. I manage to avoid touching my fingertips to my blushing cheeks, too, but only barely.
She gasps when she sees me, leaning closer to the phone for a better look.
“Oh, those big beautiful doe eyes!” she tells Gage, in a dreamy voice. “I want to make him cry. That’s a compliment, baby,” she adds for my benefit.
“When Macy says things like that it means she thinks you’re cute,” Gage helpfully explains, then turns back to his phone, arching an eyebrow. “From how Tiago just sat up I can tell he thinks so, too.”
The guy on the back of the couch – who’s now propped up on his elbows, paying much more attention – smiles at me and flutters his fingers in a playful wave.
I timidly wave back, and Gage asks - “How’s the apartment without me living there?”
“Ugh!” Tiago’s smile drops into a pout, his heavily accented English punctuated with an exasperated flick of his hand. “Who can even tell who lives here or not? With so many going in and out? Macy thinks we can fit one hundred people under our roof! One hundred freeloaders!”
“He says this like he pays rent, as if he’s not one of those freeloaders,” Macy says, widening her eyes at us. “Never ceases to amaze me. To answer your question, Gage, we all miss you, but Tiago is happy you left because it gave him something to whine and complain about, his favorite things to do.”
Tiago answers her in French, but from the tenor of his voice and the way he presses a hand to his heart, one would guess he was accusing her of being unforgivably cruel to him. Whatever wounded complaint he’s making goes on at length for a moment.
I get the impression that he’s deeply enjoying himself. Macy grimly catches my eye.
Barely suppressing a laugh, I finally manage to find something to say. “Well, it’s very nice to meet you both! I’m sorry for cutting in on your call.”
“Don’t worry,” Macy answers. “I was gonna have to run soon either way.”
Tiago is suddenly smirking again. “Yes, she has her big date tonight.”
“Big date, okay.” Macy rolls her eyes, going back to painting her nails. “I barely care, first of all, and second of all it’s not a date. We’re just hanging out.”
Gage shakes his head, very solemn. “What poor unsuspecting subby boy got himself caught in your sights now?”
“No, Gage-” Macy leans closer to the phone, widening her eyes at him. “It’s the weirdest thing. He’s like, a well-known dom on the scene. He definitely knows who I am, too, so. I have no idea what the fuck we’re doing, flirting this ferociously with each other.”
“Whoa, Mace,” Gage laughs, raising his eyebrows. “What a twist.”
“I think maybe we both have it in our heads that it would be fun to make the other one break, and agree to switch for the night.” She lets out a rasping laugh, rolls her eyes again. “If he thinks he’s going to make me of all people submit to him, I wish him luck.”
“Do you wish him luck?” Gage asks conversationally. “Like – do you maybe want him to? A little bit?”
“Bye, Gage!” she says firmly, stabbing the brush back into the nail polish bottle and picking up her phone.
Tiago – who had leaned around Macy to check if she was blushing, his mouth dropped open into a scandalized grin – quickly and urgently turns back to the phone. “No wait, your cute friend, Gage! Tell him I will send him a picture for free if he gives me his num-”
Macy ends the call, and Gage breathes out a fond laugh.
“Miss them,” he tells me, letting himself back into the house.
“I can see why.” I follow him into the warmth of the kitchen, shutting the door against the cold autumn morning. “My friend Kasey would love those two. And I have this feeling that Macy is secretly very nice.”
Gage flashes me a smile over his shoulder as he leads the way upstairs. “She is. She’ll get you with a whip, though-”
He breaks off in puzzled surprise as a sound issues at full volume from the headphones around his neck. Definitely, undeniably the sound of a woman moaning and whimpering and crying out with intense pleasure.
“Oh, oops.” Gage holds down a button on his headphones until they fall silent. “Sorry about that. I was editing the film I shot in Greenrock. You and I must have just gotten within Bluetooth range of my laptop.”
Why did I take another sip of juice during a conversation with him? I should have known better. My poor flannel. My poor nose. All I can smell is cranberry.
“Sometimes,” I tell Gage weakly, dragging my sleeve over my burning face, “Talking to you is – is – I don’t even know how to describe it. Gage chaos.”
“Gayoss,” he answers meditatively, then frowns when he hears himself. “No, wait. Not that. Aw, man – I bullied myself.”
“Perfect,” I laugh, shaking my head as I follow him down the sunlit upstairs hallway. “No notes. I’m sure Macy and Tiago would agree with me – wait, did you – did you say Macy whipped you?”
He shrugs his lanky shoulders. “I’ve filmed with her before. With Tiago, too.”
“Oh,” I answer dazedly. “That’s – not awkward?”
His eyebrows furrow in faint confusion. “No. It’s for work.”
“I just mean since they’re your friends. Don’t feelings start getting mixed up?”
He shrugs his shoulders again, breathing out a laugh. “Guess I just don’t think of it that way. If it’s for work it’s different.”
I fall silent to contemplate that, then look up as Gage stops walking. I stop automatically, too, only now realizing that I followed him upstairs and all the way to the guest room he’s staying in. He’s paused just inside his room to look at me, understandably puzzled.
“Oh – god, I’m sorry,” I laugh. “I don’t know why I’m following you around.”
“It’s alright.” He directs his good-natured smile at me, with just his eyes. “I’ve found throughout the years that certain kinds of boys raised up in churchgoing households do just start following me around, from time to time.”
“You’re a fascinating specimen to us,” I explain sheepishly, drawing a laugh from Gage.
“It’s all good. Come in, actually.” He beckons me into his room with a toss of his head, then closes the door after me when I comply. “We need to have a queer conference in confidence.”
My voice wavers with laughter. “Do we?”
“Yeah, and it’s an awkward thing I’ve gotta ask you, but we’re gonna make it through.”
“Oh, good,” I answer, out at sea.
Gage takes his headphones from around his neck and drops them on the bed, then turns to face me, pushing his hair out of his green and brown eyes.
“So, here’s the thing. I’ve gotta keep making money if I’m gonna stay in town, and since no one’s hiring for my kind of work around here, that means I need to keep filming on my own. I’ve been doing some solo stuff, but I try to post a good, um – variety. And the last few films I shot with someone else were all with girls.”
“I – okay?” I stammer, realizing too late that I have my hand pressed over my heart and my other hand in a fist on my hip, like my mom when someone’s telling her something scandalous.
“So…” He winces apologetically, twisting his wrist in his fingers. “I’m just gonna come out and ask it. You know any men in this little town who’d be interested in sleeping with me? And, um – letting me film it and post it? Ideally willing to shoot enough footage for a couple of films, so I could stock up, so to speak. Post ‘em throughout the month. You know what I mean.”
“Oh, sure,” I answer faintly, then clear my throat. “Well, let’s see… the first part is no problem, but as for who’d be down to film it, I don’t know… let me think…”
“Doesn’t have to be a pro,” Gage adds hopefully. “Not at all. Just someone down for it.”
I cast my mind around, then break into a sudden smile, struck with an idea.
“Oh, you know what? I know just where to take you!”
Gage perks up, relieved. “Yeah?”
“Yeah! We’d have to go for a bit of a long drive, though. Do you mind?”
Gage doesn’t, and furthermore he offers to top up the tank. “Or I can take the bus, if you don’t mind writing down some directions? I don’t want to make you-”
“No, no! I’ll take you, it would take forever by bus.”
He’s very polite about my car, discreetly (if awkwardly) folding his long legs into it without a word of complaint. I didn’t realize he’d want to head out as soon as he was done packing his backpack, but I don’t mind. It’s the opposite, really. I’m enormously grateful for the chance to be helpful.
It’s been so, so hard to stay out of everything going on. This is actually way easier for me, even if it means an unexpected long drive. My only worry is that it might be rude of us to show up unannounced.
Not a concern, as it turns out. If anything Francesco seems pleased to see me.
“What a… charming little diversion… you’ve brought me, my dearest Jamie,” he purrs, watching Gage from across the sprawling front gardens of the villa.
I bite my lip, fighting an absolute war to hold in my laughter at the sight before us. Gage, holding the strap of his backpack with one hand and his video camera in the other, nervously explaining himself to the six or so of Francesco’s hunks who have clustered around him. He suddenly looks very small and slender compared to the men surrounding him, and he keeps darting wide-eyed glances around like he can’t believe how many there are.
Two more curious hunks wander up to listen with interest as we watch.
“I’m just glad you don’t mind!” I tell Francesco gratefully, restraining my laughter with a significant struggle. “I know they’re your, um – they’re – yours.”
“Oh, yes… but I won’t complain about you kindly providing some… entertainment for my… troops. Besides…” He reaches behind himself to gracefully stroke the cheek of the bodyguard at his shoulder. “I tend to neglect the rest of them… when I’ve just gotten a new one.”
The bodyguard doesn’t move, but he does instantly blush to his ears at this little touch, his face lit up with the distinct glow of the Caterina man holding all of Francesco’s attention at the moment. He must be the new one in question. Looks like we turned up at just the right time.
“I should warn you that Gage can be, um – chaos. Not that he means to! It just happens.”
“My darling Jamie,” Francesco rasps, “Margarida lives here.”
“Oh, right. That’s right. The house is already a den of chaos.”
“Of course… there can be nothing in the films… to show that the Caterinas were involved,” Francesco warns me.
“Oh, no, of course not!” I turn to Gage as he comes over to join us. “Did you hear that, Gage?”
“Sure, understood,” he says, a little baffled. “I can cut out anything you want.”
“Good.” Francesco fixes Gage with his sly, playful smile, slowly batting his long lashes. “Just to be safe, I’ll review the footage… myself.”
Gage blushes deeply, nods in timid agreement, then looks at me.
“Looks like I’ve got some takers.” He tosses his head at the hunks, then turns back to Francesco, very puzzled. “They want me to ask your permission, though. All of them want that. For some reason. What is this place, is it cool if I ask? Like what is, um – the situation here?”
“The situation is… you have my permission.” Francesco takes Gage’s hand in his ringed fingers and squeezes it, as if entrusting him with an important mission. “Tire them out for me. I want a nice long nap by the pool.”
“Okay,” Gage laughs, baffled but grinning.
Dameon – who’s drifted over to listen in hopefully – gives a quick thumbs up to the other hunks, who all break into smirky, eager grins.
“You should spend the night here,” Francesco tells Gage. “I’m sure you’ll need more than one day.”
Gage blinks hard, taken aback. “Wow, are you sure you don’t mind?”
“No, no,” Francesco yawns, fluttering his hand at him. He catches Dameon’s eye with his emerald ones. “Pick a room with good light to put him in.”
“Thanks, boss,” Dameon says, grinning widely.
“You’re welcome,” Francesco answers distractedly, clearly thinking of the nap he’s longing to take.
He gives Dameon a kiss on the lips, then gives his new bodyguard a kiss when he jealously leans down to get one, and then brushes a kiss onto Gage’s lips, too. Accidentally, I think, purely because the three of them were standing in a row.
He turns and gracefully strides back to his villa, without even realizing. Gage watches him go, caught very much by surprise.
“Wow,” he says brightly, turning to me. “People are so nice around here.”
I breathe out a laugh, then catch his wrist and draw him aside.
“Whenever you want me to come pick you up, you just call me, alright?”
“I don’t want to ask you for anything else,” Gage protests. “This is way more than I asked you for, man. You delivered me to this – this – magical land of – where the fuck are we, right now?”
“I don’t mind,” I laugh, waving a hand at him. “I’ll come get you, and if I’m busy I’ll send Aiden. It’s no problem, I swear.”
Gage gives me a look of immense gratitude, clasping my hands.
“Thank you, man, this is perfect. Jesus, every single one of those guys is so – and this – this is such a nice place to film…”
He gazes around at the beautiful grounds, stunning in their fall splendor, surrounding the graceful old house. Dappled sunlight is dancing all over it, kissing the overgrowth on the aged walls.
Gage is smiling breathlessly, just like Ripley does when he’s dying to make some art and knows he’s got something good. I let out a laugh when he gives my shoulder an appreciative, enthusiastic slap.
“Seriously, thank you,” he says again, pushing his dark brown hair out of his eyes. “I would’ve had to leave Ketterbridge to find some work if I ran out of money, and I can’t – I can’t leave right now. But a day or two will probably be fine. I’ll be right back.”
He says it distractedly, feeling around in his camera bag for something. My eyes soften as I watch him. I have to quickly look for something to say when he glances back up at me.
“No problem,” I answer, smiling to hide the deep stab of sympathy I’m feeling. “I’ll see you soon.”
He takes his necklace with the chip of blue stone from his camera bag, fastens it around his neck, and gives me a wave.
Jade is waiting by the door to meet him. He smiles down at Gage as he breathlessly rushes over. Says something to him with his hand held out. Gage hands him his jacket with an appreciative answer, and the two of them disappear into the villa.
I catch a flash of bright porcelain blue before they go. The ink of Gage’s tattoo. He wore a short-sleeved shirt for the drive here.
I’ve been paying attention. He never wears anything that shows the tattoo when he’s around Noelle.
I walk back down the path through the grounds, lost in thought, only to be drawn out of it by the surprise of running into Ralph coming the opposite way, walking towards the villa.
He’s equally surprised to see me. We both stop to stare at each other.
“What are you doing here, Keane?”
“Me, what are you doing here?”
He nods at the villa. “Francesco told me to come over, said he got a new brand of cigar he wants me to try.”
“Really? I suspect he’s arranged things so you’ll find him lounging by the pool in a lacy coverup, taking a dramatic exhaustion nap.”
“He would,” Ralph growls irritably, then starts walking towards the villa anyways. “I take back what I said when I asked what you’re doing here. Have a feeling I don’t want to know.”
“Fine, but just a heads up, you might run into Gage!”
“Gage, what?” Ralph stops again, staring at me over his shoulder in confusion. “What’s he doing here?”
Oh, my god. Just envisioning Ralph’s face if I tried to explain makes me collapse inside with laughter.
“Ask Francesco about it,” I laugh helplessly, setting off for my car again with some extra spring to my step.
It really does feel good to help Gage out, in any possible way. I want him to know he can trust us to help him with other things, too, if he’ll only tell us how.
I’m more and more convinced that he’s the only one who knows everything, the whole story.
~~~~
Gage calls to ask for a ride home on a day when I’m working a double shift at the shop, so it’s Aiden who ends up having to make the drive. He has no complaints about it, even though I offered his help without asking him. He feels the same way about helping Gage that I do, just as I thought.
I got a text from my Sugar Maple informing me that he and Gage were back and hanging out at Niki’s house if I wanted to join them. I head there right after work, with a brief stop at home to pick up the pumpkin spice marshmallow cookies that Aiden baked.
Noah lets me in. From the expression in his grey eyes – and from how he eagerly snatches the entire tray of cookies out of my hands – I can instantly see that he’s in something of a better mood tonight. We haven’t gotten much time to talk alone since Faith and Robin’s wedding, but I’ve sensed some restored hope in him. Hope provided entirely by Gage, even if Gage is unaware of that.
“Hey,” I say brightly, pulling off my jacket. “Is Gage home?”
Noah doesn’t have to answer. Gage is stretched out on the couch, wearing his sweats and a threadbare white shirt. His hair is damp and messy, his skin flushed and glowing from a recent shower. He lifts his head when he hears my voice, then sits up with a wince of sore muscles.
“Jamie Keane!” he calls, flashing me a wide grin. “Man, do I owe you one.”
“Can’t believe you went to Jamie for help,” Noah tells him indignantly, leading me into the living room. “I could have – I don’t know, brought you down to the ironworkers union or somethin’, if you were looking to meet some guys.”
“I appreciate that, Noah, but no worries. Jamie brought me directly to some – some sort of farm where they grow hot guys, or something. I don’t know. I’m still confused about what that place is.”
“Okay, but the point is – I can help you with anything you need, dude,” Noah insists, dropping the cookies onto the coffee table. “I’m here for you, you know that! For whatever!”
I anxiously twist the malachite necklace, concerned that the fierce earnestness in his voice might tip Gage off to what he’s really talking about.
Gage does notice it. He blinks fast at Noah, taken aback, then somewhat touched. But he doesn’t seem to reach the realization I was afraid of.
“Thanks, Noah,” he says warmly, smiling up at him with his tired eyes. “Really appreciate that, man.”
Noah hesitates, silently struggling with himself. I can tell he’s desperate to blurt out something like tell me what’s going on with you and Noelle and Logan, and how I can help.
Mercifully Aiden chooses this moment to come in from the garage.
“Noosh, didn’t you want to show me the work you did on the car?” he calls, then brightens in surprise when I lean around the corner to kiss him. “Oh – hey, you. Didn’t see you there, but I thought I heard you.”
“He hasn’t even said anything,” Gage laughs sleepily. “I’d swear Aiden has a radar for you, Jamie Keane.”
He’s closer to the mark than he realizes. Aiden’s eyes briefly widen as he realizes what he said. Obviously Gage doesn’t know what he really meant, but it was still a slip.
The longer Gage has stayed in town, the more I’ve caught people from our group opening up to him about little things that they usually keep to themselves, at least at first. I came out into the garden last week to find Aiden talking to him about getting sober, which he normally prefers not to do with people he doesn’t know too well.
It’s just very easy to be relaxed and comfortable around Gage. Assuming there’s no chaos going on, that is.
Slightly sheepish over his mistake, Aiden follows Noah back to the garage to look at the car, leaving me in the living room with Gage. I sit down on the couch beside him, stretching my cold fingers out to the firelight.
“So, it was a good visit to Francesco?”
“Oh, my god.” Gage lets out a ragged laugh, grinning at me. “I meant it, Jamie Keane, I owe you big. I got so much good footage out of that trip that I think I can make a little series out of it. Like – lost in the sexy mansion, or something.”
“Oh, I’m so glad,” I manage, shaken with silent laughter.
“And that place is so fucking gorgeous! Francesco was nice about letting me film in the garden, and the pool.” Gage opens his laptop, then turns it around with a paused video pulled up in an editing program. “Look at the background in that frame. Amazing.”
I get an eyeful of the video he’s showing me, then hastily look back up, my cheeks on fire. I didn’t even see the background, given everything happening between Gage, Dameon, and Denver in the foreground, but I nod weakly in agreement.
“That’s – that’s really nice!”
“Francesco’s boys are great,” Gage adds brightly. “One of them even knew how to do Shibari, we got some awesome film out of that – oh, and two of them slept in my bed with me? I didn’t ask them to, so. Not sure what was going on there. I actually ended up with three on the last night. It’s a good thing that bed was so huge. Cuddly bunch, aren’t they?”
“Aw,” I laugh helplessly. “They miss Francesco. His bed is occupied with the newest member of the team at the moment.”
Gage breathes out a warm laugh.
“No complaints from me. Really nice to get snuggled after a shoot. I usually don’t.” He stretches out his legs, wincing. “I am pretty sore from this little adventure, but that’s fine.”
“I bet you are! You were gone for longer than I expected. Like – the whole day after I dropped you there, and then two days after that.”
“I know.” Gage closes his laptop and sets it aside, then runs a hand through his messy hair. “I’m really tired. Did like three straight days of filming. Worth it, though. This should set me up for a while.” He braces my arm, giving me a grateful smile. “Really, thank you.”
“Of course,” I answer, realizing suddenly just how tired he looks.
He can barely keep his eyes open, his wide shoulders are drooping, and his voice is hoarse, but I missed all that for a minute. What I primarily noticed is that he’s glowing with relief that he doesn’t have to leave town. Glowing with a touch of artistic satisfaction and excitement, too. I’m sure he didn’t have to start editing his footage already. He did that because he wanted to.
He clearly is exhausted, though. His eyes have fluttered shut in the brief silence I’ve allowed to fall. The autumn air is cold outside, but not in here. He’s probably also still warm from his shower, which was recent enough that he still smells like body wash. He stretches his feet towards the fire, a drowsy, involuntary movement.
The situation seems to be quickly lulling him to sleep.
“I’ll let you get some rest,” I tell him gently, standing up and handing him the blanket from the end of the couch. “We’ll be in the garage if you want to join us.”
“Okay,” he murmurs, laying down on the couch again and curling up beneath the blanket.
“Follow the music with a heavy beat and a whole lot of cursing and suggestive lyrics. You can usually find Noah at the end of it.”
“Whoa, dude, I dunno,” Gage yawns. “Sounds a little risqué for me.”
“Right,” I laugh, shaking my head. “Well, if you think you can bear it.”
“Yeah, I’ll come hang soon…”
Gage trails off, barely making it to the end of his sentence.
He’s already half asleep, so I leave him be. I start towards the hallway with the garage door to join Aiden and the others, but my eyes catch something through the living room windows.
Noelle and Melanie are walking slowly down the sidewalk, their breaths puffing on the twilight air and turning into glimmering mist. It’s dark out, but there’s a collective glow on the street from all the warmly-lit windows and glowing Halloween decorations. Enough to see the girls by. They seem to be enwrapped in a quiet, serious conversation.
I let myself back out into the driveway, then head down the sidewalk to meet them as they approach the house. They’re both holding a hot, steaming drink from Mugshot, probably why they’re not hurrying to get inside and out of the cold.
They both automatically wave when they see me coming, then just keep talking when I join them.
“-satisfying to get him back,” Melanie is saying, smoothing down the folds of her dark red dress.
“Oh, definitely.” Noelle lets out a laugh that sounds strangely without conviction, stuffing her free hand into the pocket of her coat. “I mean – it’s the dream. What girl wouldn’t want that, right? To win back the one who got away and broke your heart?”
“Me,” Melanie admits, with a sheepish laugh.
Noelle blinks, drawn out of her thoughts, then shakes her head at herself. “Oh, of course! What am I saying? For you it was Aiden.”
“Yeah, and for a long time I really would have liked to get him back. Especially if he came crawling back, that would’ve been very good.” Mel crinkles her nose up at Noelle, laughing a little. “Now I’m really glad he didn’t. I can’t imagine what I was thinking. No offense, Jamie.”
“No, none taken!”
“Offense!” Noelle laughs, tucking some windblown wisps of hair out of her face. “It’s just the truth, Melanie! Now that I’ve seen you with Noah and Raj, the idea of you getting back together with Aiden is – no.”
“Mhm, exactly. In my case, he got away because he was supposed to get away. It just took me a long time to get my head around that. I didn’t want to be wrong, you know?”
Noelle stares long and thoughtfully at Mel, her dark brows knitted. Melanie glances at her, then hastily adds -
“That’s not you and Logan, obviously! I was just talking about me.”
“No, of course,” Noelle murmurs distractedly. She pulls herself out of her thoughts with a visible effort, smiling at Melanie again. “I get what you mean. And being here I’m finally starting to see how you and Raj and Noah can all be together. It’s not that I didn’t get it, before, but I was really surprised that Noah could be part of it. Knowing him. It’s just…”
She tugs at her knitted maroon scarf, struggling for a way to phrase it.
“It’s just that we Rauniers are very protective. I couldn’t imagine him letting you go off to someone else and then come back to him. If that makes sense.”
“No, it totally does!” Mel lets out an affectionate laugh. “You’re right, knowing him it’s a surprise. It was even a surprise to him – actually – what am I saying? The fact that any of this works was a complete surprise to all three of us. But I’m glad we took the chance.” She flashes a sidelong smile at Noelle. “For us it doesn’t take anything away. It adds something, in ways I didn’t even expect. I guess you just don’t know what’s gonna work for you until you try it out, sometimes.”
“Yeah,” Noelle says slowly, absorbing that. “I guess so…”
She lapses into her thoughts, staring ahead of herself without seeing, then abruptly seems to remember she’s still in the middle of a conversation.
“Thank you for taking me on a Mugshot run, Melanie.” She lets out an appreciative sigh, giving Mel’s arm a squeeze. “I needed something to get me out of the house. I’ve been bummed out the last couple of days, just like – bored, and – I don’t know. Don’t even know why. Not feeling good about how my finished proposal looks for work. Maybe that’s it.”
She tilts her head back with a grimace, then adds - “But I said I was gonna do it this way, and I hate to go back on things I said. Especially if I meant it at the time. Then no one takes you seriously the next time you say something… sorry, I’m rambling. This week, I swear!”
“I have something that might cheer you up,” I jump in, pointing at the house. “Gage is back.”
Noelle blinks at me, then breaks into a smile that lights up her whole face. “Oh, is he? Finally!”
She picks up speed, half striding, half running up the driveway towards the house so fast that her coat and scarf catch the breeze she’s creating. Mel and I have to trot to catch up to her, but she’s stopped in the doorway by Noah, anyways.
“Sorry, we’re not seeing visitors,” he tells her flatly, and closes the door in her face.
“Oh – Noah!” She forces it open and lays a smack on his chest with the back of her hand. It doesn’t budge him from the doorway, which he’s blocked so comprehensively that he doesn’t even bother moving when she tries unsuccessfully to dart around him. “You are so annoying-”
“Good luck, girls,” Noah says, grinning widely as he bars the way. “Unless you’ve got food to bribe me with-”
Mel catches Noelle’s hand, tugs her back towards the driveway. “I’ve got the garage key!”
“Shit!” Noah slams the front door again and disappears, but Mel has already pressed the button on the garage clicker.
We rush around Raj’s truck in the driveway, just in time to see the garage door go up. It reveals Aiden and Ripley, who are having a very hurried, anxious conversation while Raj watches with Nikita on his lap, trying not to laugh. Aiden is – weirdly – holding an entire steering wheel in his hands.
“Just jam it back on there!” Ripley suggests.
“Jam it back – you think he’s not gonna notice that we broke the steering wheel off of his-?” Aiden cuts himself off, having noticed me, Mel, and Noelle standing there. “That – some totally random people who weren’t us broke the steering wheel off of his car?”
“Don’t say-” Ripley begins, then hurriedly changes tones as Noah comes striding into the garage from the house. “Um – hey, dude!”
Noah goes around his car and picks up Melanie, dusting her face with adoring kisses. She giggles and tries to hold her coffee steady, but accepts them.
“Hi, baby! Worked out you coming in through the garage, huh? Another chance to look at my glorious car.” Noah does a double-take, noticing what Aiden is holding. He sets Mel down to take it back. “Aw, man, did the wheel come off again? Shit. Okay, no problem. We’ll fix that.”
“I was wondering if I should tell you guys it happens all the time,” Raj laughs, grinning enormously at Ripley and Aiden.
They give him a simultaneous middle finger, and Noelle seizes a handful of Noah’s sweater, gives him a hard shake by it.
“You idiot, sers-toi de ta tête! What’s wrong with you? Blocking my way, driving cars with no steering wheels!”
Noah snickers affectionately as she shoves him aside to go past him towards the door. She sticks her tongue out at him, then stops with a gasp as he stumbles back into the wing mirror of his car, which also snaps off and tumbles to the floor. This makes Nikita – who’s most at home in chaos – burst into excited laughter. She clutches Raj’s shirt and lets out a cascade of enthusiastic giggles, beaming at Noelle.
“Oh – oh, my god!” Noelle gasps, snatching the mirror back up from the floor in disbelief. “That wasn’t – I didn’t do that! You’re the ones who break cars into pieces around here, not me!”
“That falls off all the time, too,” Raj says reassuringly, infected with Nikita’s laughter.
“Starting to think we might need to fix it, dude,” Noah tells him thoughtfully.
“This is ridiculous!” complains Noelle, in a flustered rush. “Your car is made out of gingerbread, and it’s trying to make me look bad! I won’t stand for it! I’m out of here!”
Noah raises an eyebrow as she turns and breathlessly rushes for the house again. “Why are you in such a hurry, anyways? Descending on the house like a hurricane!”
Noelle pauses, blinks a few times, then gives her shoulders a shrug. “I’m not in a hurry. I just want to say hi to Gage, since he’s been gone for ages.”
“He’s been gone for like three days, not even!” Noah calls after her, as she slips into the house.
I follow her into the hallway, then snag her by her elbow. “Noelle – you may want to go in quietly.”
She gives me a puzzled glance, obligingly dropping her voice to a whisper. “Why?”
I lead her into the living room and point to the couch, where Gage is deeply asleep, curled into himself beneath the soft blanket. He’s rolled over onto his side, put his face towards the fire in his sleep. His hand is curled up on the cushion by his cheek.
“Oh,” Noelle murmurs, much more softly.
She goes over and stops beside the couch, gazing down at him. Suddenly very quiet and still, especially compared to how she was during her whirlwind arrival at the house.
I steal a long, searching look at her while she’s distracted.
She and Logan worked out the argument they had at Faith and Robin’s wedding. Supposedly everything is back to normal and all good between them, but I’d swear that things have felt different since then. Or maybe they’ve felt different since the night Aiden drove off the Sorcerer, and Gage accidentally pulled Noelle into his arms for a moment.
All I know is that Noelle has been more quiet than usual, often distracted or swept up in her thoughts. I’ve caught her lapsed into anxious silence several times, with a blank, bewildered expression on her face, her jaw tightly tensed up.
I’ve been trying to figure out what she’s reminding me of, in this state. It just finally hit me.
She’s reminding me of Noah, in the days just before he showed up at my apartment in a panic, broke down, and finally admitted how he really felt about Raj and Mel.
“He looks so tired,” Noelle says, softly and suddenly.
She looks up at me, the grey of her eyes very dark in the firelight. Or, no – it’s that her pupils have gotten very big, leaving behind only slender rings of silver.
“Is he okay?” she asks.
“Yeah, he just – came here from work. The trip was to film a bunch of stuff, so he’s pretty exhausted.”
Noelle looks up at me, considerably startled. “Oh.”
“I thought he probably always looks something like this after work,” I add, surprised at how thrown she looks. “Maybe not quite this much, but…”
It’s like she’s never seen him this way.
“He – doesn’t usually come hang out with me right after he’s been working,” Noelle answers quietly, gazing down at him. She lifts her eyes to me again, letting out a faint laugh. “Usually I’m the one of us falling into an absurdly deep sleep on the couch.”
I match her smile, slipping my hands into the pockets of my jeans. “Well, he’s alright. Just tired out, and sore. Had a good shoot, from what I heard.”
Noelle sits down next to Gage on the couch, then nods at me, looking a little lost. “Oh. Good. Okay.”
“I’m just gonna go make sure those guys in the garage save at least one beer for him,” I tell her, searching for an excuse to leave them alone.
“Okay,” she says again, not really listening.
I head back towards the garage, then hesitate in the hallway. Unable to stop myself, I turn around and steal a covert, searching glance at Noelle.
She’s sitting up beside Gage’s head, with her fingers pressed between her knees and her lip pinned between her teeth. Her eyes are resting on his face, watching the shadows dance over it with the movements of the firelight.
He rolls onto his back with a sigh. His damp hair falls forward into his eyes with the movement. Noelle watches him in silent stillness for a long moment, then haltingly reaches out.
Gently, protectively, she smooths her hand over his tumbled hair. Moving it out of his eyes for him, with infinite care and tenderness.
Her fingertips linger in his hair for a few seconds. Suddenly she’s all tensed up. From the angle of her hands it looks like she wants to draw his head into her lap.
She gives herself a shake, draws her hand back, and hastily busies it with straightening out the tangled blanket spread over Gage. Lifting it up to cover him better.
I had just started to turn away, but this stops me short. My eyes widen, my fingertips flying up to my mouth. Gage is wearing a t-shirt, and Noelle just uncovered him.
Right as my mind lands on the thought, Noelle pauses, staring down at the part of the tattoo she can see on his bicep.
She blinks at it a few times, frozen, her grey eyes opening very wide. She leans over him to take a closer look at it, and her dark hair swings down in front of her profile, blocking her expression from view.
For maybe a full minute, she just sits there, perfectly motionless. Then, very carefully, she begins to move his sleeve higher on his arm. Trying to see more of his tattoo.
Gage stirs in his sleep, and Noelle sits back sharply. She covers him with the blanket again, drags her trembling fingers across her eyes, then jams her hands back between her knees.
Gage rubs his eyes as they slowly blink open. He turns onto his side and glances around the living room, searching for what woke him up. His gaze falls on Noelle, sitting there beside him.
He sits up on his elbow and takes a deep, drowsy inhale, smiling up at her in warm surprise.
“Hey, Bug,” he murmurs, his low voice unwound with sleep, his words melting together.
“Hey!” she answers, so breathlessly that his eyebrows drop low in half-awake confusion.
He raises himself up a little more on his elbows. Staring at the twin dashes of bright crimson color in her cheeks, and her bouncing knee. Her wide eyes, which are lit with the glow from the fire, blinking very fast.
“You alright, Noelle?”
“Yes.” She sounds winded, answering in a voice barely more than a breath. “Just – I just-”
She breaks off, struggling. Gage waits patiently, but Noelle can’t seem to find a good answer.
“Oh, nevermind! I’m too tired to say a word.” She snatches a cookie up from the tray on the coffee table, then stabs it warningly at Gage. “Stop laughing – you don’t want to cross me, Hollins!”
“I can see that,” he answers, eyeing the side mirror of Noah’s car. “Whatcha got there?”
Noelle blushes deeper, glancing wildly down at the wing mirror beside her on the couch. “It’s not – I didn’t break it, it wasn’t me! It’s Noah’s fault for having a car with the structural integrity of a – a soup cracker!”
“What?” Gage laughs softly, rubbing his tired eyes. “Sorry, what happened? Soup?”
Noelle flutters a hand at him. “Nevermind.”
Gage tilts his head to the side, a baffled, affectionate smile in his eyes. “What’s up with you? Are you okay?”
“Nothing,” Noelle manages. She turns her face aside, staring straight ahead into the fireplace. “Yes. Just – glad you’re back. It felt like you were gone for a long time.”
Gage blinks hard a few times, watching her with deep warmth in his eyes. He hesitates, then murmurs impulsively, still smiling -
“Will you tell me one thing, Bug?”
Noelle turns her face to him and returns his smile, getting her breath back a little. “Of course. What is it?”
A few silent seconds pass by before the soft murmur of Gage’s voice comes again. He hesitates, then begins slowly, quietly -
“Do you remember when…?”
He falters, gazing into Noelle’s eyes, then suddenly freezes, looking very much like his exhausted brain just caught up to his mouth.
“Nevermind,” he says after a moment, then lets out a drowsy laugh. “Forgot what I was gonna say. Sorry, I’m so tired.”
“Me, too.” Noelle sits back against the couch beside him, closing her eyes in exhaustion. “My – my head is spinning. I’ve been thinking too hard.”
Gage’s brows draw down in concern. “What’re you doing that for?”
“No reason,” Noelle answers, in a faint voice.
“Mkay…” Gage sleepily settles back down into the couch, closing his eyes, too. “Is it your proposal for the encyclopedia? Did you want to talk about it? I’m awake, we can…”
There’s a pause, eventually broken when Gage tries again.
“Bug?”
He lifts his head when she doesn’t answer, and finds her deeply asleep. Snuggled into the couch cushions and everything, still with her coat and her scarf on, the pumpkin cookie in her hand.
Gage just looks at her for a long moment, his face turned away from me. After some time he gently removes the cookie from Noelle’s hand, eats it himself, then lays his head back down on the couch and shuts his eyes.
I silently back away and head for the garage, leaving the two of them asleep beside each other.
Feeling good, because Noah wants to talk, and now I have something reassuring to tell him.
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